Page 60 of On the Way to You
“Why does it have to be all that? Why can’t we be what youcangive, what I can give. It can be casual. Why can’t we just try?”
“Because I don’t do this,” he said, motioning between us. “I’ve wanted to kiss you from the second I saw you, Cooper, and I figured I’d have your legs on my shoulders and your head hitting the wall that first night in New Orleans.”
I swallowed, heat rushing from somewhere in my core up to my cheeks.
“And I don’t say that out of disrespect,” he added quickly. “Because I realized almost immediately when you got in my car that you aren’t that kind of girl… You aren’t like any kind of girl I’ve ever met.”
Some of his anger slipped away then, his eyes brighter, voice softer.
“I also realized that none of the rules I’ve set in relationships before you would work anymore. Not with you. I can’t disconnect from you, and I can’t treat this like it’s casual because it’s not. You’re not. And I can’t—“ His voice broke, his eyes shutting tight as he shook his head before they popped back open again. “There are so many things I want to do to you, Cooper.” He said it quietly, like it hurt, like it was ripping him apart from the inside. “Things you’ve never experienced, but Ican’t. Because you deserve more than that, more than what I can give you.” He pushed back off the wall, his eyes falling to the floor. “More than me.”
Emery’s back was to me, one hand covering his mouth as he looked out the window across our room.
“But I want you,” I whispered, pressing my hands into the wall behind me. I used it for leverage to stand taller before crossing the space between us. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around him from behind, my forehead burying into his back as he let out a pained sigh.
“You don’t know me,” he countered, voice rough. “And if you did, you’d be running right now.”
His journal entries flashed in my mind, and I shook my head against the warmth of his back.If only he knew.
“How do you know that if you don’t give me the chance?”
I moved around him, my hands sliding from his waist to hook behind his neck. I pulled him down into me, our eyes closing together, foreheads touching like they had the night of our first kiss.
“Try, Emery. That’s all I’m asking. Let me in on the bad days, in here,” I said, tapping his temple before my fingers trailed down over his chest. “And maybe, in time, here, too.”
“And if I can’t?”
I swallowed, but then pulled back until he opened his eyes, faking my next sentiment as best I could and punctuating it with a shrug. “Then you better at least give me the best damn casual sex of my life.”
He smirked, but the curve on his lips died quickly, his eyes igniting with a mixture of passion and warning. My fingers tangled behind his neck, and I took the last step, closing every inch of space between us as I looked up at him.
“Kiss me,” I whispered. “And this time, don’t stop.”
Emery blew out a breath, hands moving to frame my face. I closed my eyes as soon as his skin hit mine, mouth falling softly open, chin tilted up, waiting. His thumb brushed my jaw line before the pad of it skated across my bottom lip, and he groaned, making my eyes flutter open.
His honey eyes were locked on my lips, his brows bent together as he shook his head like he was about to commit a crime that would put him away for life. He swallowed, catching my eyes for just a second before he caved, a guilty man accepting his punishment as his mouth fused with mine.
And though I would have sworn it was impossible, he tasted even better the second time.
The room pulled away and snapped back in a rush, my hands flying into his hair as he lifted me. I wrapped my good leg around him, hiking the other thigh as high as I could before his hand slipped under it for support. He was still scolding me with hot, unapologetic kisses as I rolled my body into him, doing everything I could to get closer, to get more.
When my back hit the puffy comforter of his bed, my hair fluttered out around me, every inch of us sinking deeper into the bed as Emery kissed my neck. His hands were hard on my hips, gripping with a force that made me gasp his name. He told me he wanted me with that grip, confessed his sins with another kiss, and with a groan low in his throat and a roll of his hips against my middle, he threw every reason he should stop out our window and down to the Vegas strip.
Emery slid my dress up and over my hips, exposing the simple thong I wore underneath, and when his fingers ran along the lacy fabric, he paused. His forehead hit mine, a frustrated grunt leaving his lips. I thought he was going to stop, but he simply slowed, his fingers more gentle as they traced the edge of my panties, his kisses softer on my lips.
“Wait here.”
In the next second, his warmth was gone, and I lay alone on the bed. I pulled my dress back down a little, my breaths as loud as a train while I watched Emery take his phone from his pocket. He pressed a few buttons, connecting to the speaker on the night stand, and then a soft acoustic song flowed out.
He seemed to be catching his breath as he removed his wallet from his other pocket next, and his eyes were on mine as he pulled out a condom, setting it next to his phone on the table. Then, he crawled back in between my legs, and with our eyes still watching, he kissed me.
With that kiss, everything slowed down — his lips, our hands, my breaths. Emery balanced above me on unsteady elbows, his eyes connecting with mine between each long, soft kiss.
It was my first time, but his shaky hands brushing my hair back told me he was just as nervous as I was.
My heart was the only thing still hammering, beating wildly, thoughts of what was to come rushing through me like a rip tide. He was going to touch me. He was going to touch me where no one had ever touched me before.
Emery pushed up from the bed, his arms stronger now as they held him up on either side of me. He watched me there for a moment, chest heaving, before he took a steady breath and leaned back until he was on his knees. His throat tightened as he swallowed, hands reaching down, palms flattening against the hot skin of my thighs before he pushed up. His wrists caught the hem of my dress, bringing it up with them, and I lifted my hips, my back, my neck, helping him until the dress was gone, discarded somewhere behind him, his eyes raking down my exposed body.