Page 46 of On the Way to You

“Yes,” I whispered. “Like love.”

Emery wouldn’t take his eyes off me, not even when I blushed and looked away, or when I found his unwavering gaze once more, my breath suddenly hard to catch.

“It’s such a shame,” he finally said, voice as smooth and calm as the sky above us. “That you’ve never been really kissed.”

“It is?” I breathed.

His Adam’s apple bobbed once in his throat as he nodded, stepping closer to me, and the hands that were in his pockets had somehow found their way to my neck. They crawled up, framing my face, his thumbs by my ears as his fingers curled into my hair. My mind rushed like the waterfalls we’d seen earlier, my heart racing along with it, our breaths meeting between us in a mixture of white puffs.

I expected him to ask, or to maybe change his mind halfway through, but Emery was steady and sure as he leaned down, his eyes not leaving mine until our mouths connected.

And in that moment, with that kiss, everything changed.

We both inhaled the moment our lips touched, and I stepped into him, my arms wrapping around his middle. I pushed up onto my toes, desperate to get closer, to getmore— of his lips, of his breath, of his warmth, of him. When I opened my mouth, his tongue swept inside, and I didn’t even try to fight the moan that came next. That moan made Emery grip my hair, tugging it lightly, just enough to tilt my head back and allow him better access.

He wanted more, too.

My first kiss wasn’t anything like I thought it’d be. I didn’t see fireworks or feel butterflies in my stomach. No, I saw the stars, and the mountains, and the rushing water. I saw messy script writing and a wet t-shirt stuck to muscular arms. And I felt fire, hot and burning in my core, my breath more like steam than just an exhale into a cold night. I felt warm hands and cool lips, thick sweaters and thin inhibitions, and when he finally pulled back, his forehead pressed to mine, I felt empty and elated all at once.

“Wow,” I breathed, my hands still fisted in his sweater. “Was that… is kissing always like that?”

Emery swallowed, the muscle over his jaw flexing as he shook his head slightly. “Never.”

We were both quiet a moment, my thoughts still going faster than I could keep up with. I wasn’t sure if it was the high or the kiss anymore. When Emery pulled all the way back, his hands brushing down the sides of my arms before he hooked his hands with mine, I asked the only question that was clear above the rest of the noise.

“Can we do it again?”

So, we did, all night long. Emery wrapped us up together in the same sleeping bag, our bodies hot and slick as he kissed me like it was his job, like it was number one on his hopes and dreams list. He didn’t lift my shirt, or sneak a hand down my sweat pants, or thrust his hard on against me, though I knew it was there. I could feel it even when he tried to hide it from me.

He kissed me like it was a privilege, like he didn’t want to rush, like we had forever.

I think I knew even then that we didn’t.

I woke up alone in the sleeping bag the next morning, rubbing my eyes with a slight ache behind them. I felt around on the floor of the tent until I found my glasses, and when I pushed them into place, every moment from last night rushed back all at once.

A smile found my lips as I closed my eyes, remembering the feel of his hands, the taste of his lips, the sounds he made when we were both driving each other so crazy it was unbearable. When I opened my eyes again, Emery was in the opening of the tent, watching me with a lazy smile.

“Good morning.”

“It really is,” I said, and his smile grew.

“Glen and I are going to go for a morning hike around the park, probably get some firewood. I figured I’d take Kalo to get some of her energy out. You want to come?”

My leg protested with a strong, tingling ache before I could even open my mouth to answer.

“I’m a little sore from yesterday, so I think I’ll stay back.”

He eyed my leg, a flash of concern on his face, but I smiled to assure him I was fine.

“Okay. Nora is making breakfast burritos. And there’s coffee.”

I hummed at that. “I’ll be out in a sec. Have fun on your hike.”

Emery’s eyes trailed over me, the strap of my layering tank top slid off one shoulder, my legs still covered by the sleeping bag. When his gaze found mine again, I knew my blush was like a neon sign, and he just smirked before letting the tent flap close.

I bit my lip, falling back into the sleeping bag with a puff, my stomach giddy, heart fluttering.

What does this mean?