Page 8 of On Everything

Ciara

I’m sure Pernelle will be tripped out when I tell her that I was just in the same room as Hov a few minutes ago.

She’d always cited him as her dream nigga if she ever went back to fucking with men.

Yes, Hov is tall, fine, rich, and dresses his ass off, but I’d never looked at him with interest before.

He was simply a name I heard often when Kairo would speak on how he wanted to live.

We can be like Hov and Cashmier, baby .

He would often tell me.

I used to roll my eyes at that shit, because I wasn’t no Manhattan ass bitch and he was nowhere near the God, which is Hov.

The way Hov was looking at me in Ant’s spot, I just couldn’t shake. I thought about it every step I took out of that apartment and up to my door.

Last night with Ant was cool. We had sex a few times and each time it seemed to get better and better.

It wasn’t that it sucked at first; I just had to get used to being with a man who was looking out for his own pleasure and not mine.

Yeah, he ate my pussy for about five minutes, but then after that, it was straight pound action.

There was no kissing, no rubbing, no eye contact.

Just his dick fucking my walls swollen. Did I feel better since stepping out on Kairo?

Yeah, but I just hate that my experience with Ant didn’t erase Kairo from my mind completely.

I still found a way to get mad as hell when I got outside my door.

I won’t be answering his jail calls at all for a good minute.

I exhaled deeply and then turned the key. As soon as I stepped inside the apartment, I was hit with a view of the chaos I’d left last night. That overwhelming smell of bleach and chemicals was still inside, and I cracked the door open since the windows alone wouldn't do the job.

Instantly, I started picking shit up from the floor because the mess started at the door.

There were broken vases, smashed picture frames, and the end tables were completely flipped over.

My coffee table, usually sat in the center of the living room, was now touching the floor from being smashed by Kairo's body. I had hours worth of work to do, and the saddest part of it all, most of my things I’m picking up are about to go in the trash.

Growing up, always having chores, I wasn’t a stranger to having to keep shit clean around the house.

I knew as a kid if my mama came home and there was anything out of place, I was doing wall sits until my ass felt like it was on fire from a beating.

The wall sits I did when I was in my rebellious stage with Kairo is the reason I’m built like this today.

I turned on my Summer Walker playlist and got lost in a cleaning zone until I heard a voice at the door that was deep enough to get my attention on an instant.

“Ciara.”

I looked back towards the door, paralyzed in fear when I saw it was Hov standing in the doorway of my ransacked apartment.

I was stuck not only because of his presence but the fact that he called me by my name.

It sounded so good coming off his lips too.

It was almost like I was in trouble, but in a way that is disciplined through sex or something else kinky.

“Ye, Yes?”

Tripping over my words, I dropped the dustpan from my hands.

“Why are you cleaning up this shit by yourself?”

“Because I don’t have anyone else to do it. How do you know my name?”

“I just do.” He chucked his chin back, looking down towards me.

“Look, put that shit down and get up out of here for a few hours. When you come back, it will be cleaned up for you.”

“I don’t understand. Cleaned up by who?”

“Do you want to take the offer or not?”

“Uhhhh.” I looked around at all the turned over shit and dents in my wall.

I don’t know Hov, but I’m sure he wasn’t offering to get my place cleaned to steal any of the junk up out of here.

I’m sure he knows someone he can pay to clean for cheap because he doesn’t seem like the type to pick up anything from the floor.

“That’s cool, but I don’t know where to go in the meantime. Can’t I just stay here and help?”

“You would just be in the way. Leave here and come back about 5:00 tonight. Everything will be done for you by then.”

“Okay. But I need to shower and get dressed before I leave. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, do you. Just leave this door unlocked,” he replied, before he disappeared from the door frame.

I lifted my left hand and pinched my right side to see if I was dreaming or hallucinating off these chemicals. Why was Hov of all people at my door trying to help me? Especially since we've never had a conversation before in our lives.

I quickly got out of my head, closed the door and locked it to go in my bedroom’s closet to grab a pair of jean shorts and a shirt to take a shower.

“Perfect.”

I said, after going back in the racks to get my bottoms for my outfit of the day.

These shorts in particular were ones Kairo had a fit about me wearing before and ones that I placed in the back of my closet.

It wasn’t until now that I had the balls to pull them out and flaunt what he didn’t feel was good enough to have exclusively.

These shorts are just the beginning of me doing and wearing what I want. No more rules from my no good husband.

I turned on the shower wishing that I could’ve taken a bath to soak my sore coochie, but I’m in a rush to get the hell out of here and fast. Pressing a warm, wet towel on my lips should do the trick and if not, then I know I can hold ice on it for a few minutes to stop the pain.

It was an old trick I learned when I first lost my virginity to Kairo.

When I was done showering, I went downstairs and stepped out of the building hearing, “Yo mama!” before my feet hit the pavement on the sidewalk. I decided to just keep walking and keep my head down so I could go to the Bodega down the street to grab something to coat my empty stomach.

Once I hit the corner to head to my little spot, my phone rang, and it was a call from Pernelle.

“What’s up?” I hit accept on the call.

“Shid, nothing, painting my toenails so I won’t look crazy in these new slides Emoney bought me. How did your night go, Ms. hot in the pants?”

“It was chill, actually.”

“Like chill chill or freaky chill?”

“Freaky chill. I fucked him.”

“Ahhh! Yes! My bitch is popping that coochie!”

Pernelle started screaming in excitement and I had to move the phone away from my ear as I traveled down the sidewalk. She was louder than all the horns, conversations, and classical sounds of Castle Hill Ave in the background.

“Girl, relax. I wasn’t a virgin, you do know that right?”

“Yeah, but your ass only fucked with one nigga your whole life, which makes you a hoe virgin. Who are you fucking next?”

“Nobody. I’m not about to start wilding because Kairo locked up. I still have morals for myself.”

“Fuck having morals when your husband didn’t give a fuck about having his. He dogged your ass out for over a decade!”

“Pernell.”

I stopped her ranting because she would go on and on if I let her.

“Well, anyway. I was waiting on your call this morning to start cleaning. I see your ass been laid up a lot longer than I thought you would.”

“Nah, I haven’t been laid up all morning. I went to clean up and then I was told to stop.”

“Stop, by who? Mr. Lopez? Don’t tell me you’re getting evicted too. Damn, my bitch can’t catch a break.”

Pernelle instantly thought of problems I surely hoped not to have right now.

“No, it wasn’t because of an eviction.”

“Oh, then why? The police?”

“My neighbor, Mrs. Henderson said her and her friends will help me clean it to take the stress off me. I’m just going to make my way to your spot.”

I lied because I didn't want to tell her over the top ass that he offered to get my place clean. She would make a bigger deal out of it than it should be and at the end of the day, I'm sure he is just being nice.

“Yeah, do that. I’m not doing shit. Maybe we can crack some liquor open and drink a little bit.”

“Yeah, that sounds cool. I’ll grab something from the liquor store. Cult Water cool with you?”

“Yep, that’s fine with me.”

“Okay bye.”

We hung up, and I headed straight to the store to get our favorite cheap drink. God knows I needed one right now.

Once I made it to Pernelle’s apartment, I knocked on the door and I could smell the scent of weed seeping through the cracks.

I swear all they do is smoke weed in this apartment with no working windows.

I’m sure this unit would lift in the air like a hot balloon if it wasn’t nailed down to the foundation.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Ciara.”

The door swung open and instead of Pernelle or Emoney, it was Emoney’s worrisome best friend, Elijah.

“Hey.”

“Hey, beautiful. So, I hear we single now?”

His lips curled up into a smile as if I wasn’t about to wipe that shit right off.

“So, I hear we still broke.”

“Ayo, chill out, ma. You didn’t have to front on me like that.”

“I thought we were speaking facts so…”

“If you say we are speaking facts, then that means you really are single. A win is a win for me.”

“Elijah, move your big goofy ass out the way and let my friend in the door.”

Pernelle cursed him out and he finally stepped to the side. As I entered the apartment, his tongue smacked against his teeth like he was looking at an eight oz steak. I hugged Pernelle and sat on the couch beside her while Elijah walked over to the window that overlooked Castle Hill Avenue.

“Emoney, that Bentley that was outside is gone now. We may not get a chance tonight.”

“Or any other night. You know who the fuck that car belongs too.”

Emoney looked over towards me.

“Matter of fact, let’s cut this conversation off for right now. We will talk about it later. I actually have another plan for us, something easier.”

“Alright, that’s a bet.”