Page 5 of On Everything

Pernelle and her mama were a lot closer than me and mine due to my mama being a leech and always hoping to latch on to my life in some type of way.

She spent up my social security checks every month from my father until I was eighteen and then started asking me for the money I made on different jobs after that.

Growing up, she always told me that I would see her struggle for myself one day instead of wishing that I didn’t end up like her.

Shit, the fact that I’m even trying right now shows we are not the same.

My mama hadn’t had a job past three months, but here I am on my third year at the assistance center.

Not only was my mama irresponsible, but she was also a hypocrite with her parenting style on me.

She often accused me of hoeing around before I’d ever saw a dick before.

When I got with Kairo, she told me if I got pregnant, I had to get out of her house.

My mama had me when she was sixteen years old, pregnant by her brother’s eighteen year old best friend.

By twenty, she was a single parent when my father was shot and killed trying to rob someone years ago.

I think a lot of what my mama does to this day is projecting.

She had a hard life growing up, so I think she just expected and wanted the same for me.

“She may have heard about it, but you know she’s still mad at me for not letting her and Frisco bad ass come sleep on my couch when she asked back in March.”

“Girl, not Frisco is still alive? Ain’t he like a hundred now in dog years?”

“Yeah, his ugly ass is ancient, but he still alive sitting on my mama’s lap barking at whoever approaches her. I tell you what, Sandy gives that dog more affection than she ever gave me. That’s for sure.”

“Yeah friend, that's sad.”

Growing up, I always wanted a small dog, but we could never afford one with the prices that breeders were charging for anything other than a pit bull around the Bronx.

So one Christmas, my mama’s boyfriend at the time, Joe, came home at 7:30 at night with his Christmas gift to me.

He handed me a box with such a proud look on his face.

I opened it, and there was Frisco’s mean ass in the box.

I remember reaching in to grab him and he bit me on my hand as soon as I touched him. I still have that scar near my thumb too. It was hate at first site with me and that little rat but my mama loved him more than me.

We walked all the way to Pernelle’s building before I realized I didn’t have a phone charger at her place.

“Damn, y’all. My phone is about to be dead, and I just realized that you two have the new iPhone, right?”

“Yep. Do we need to go get yours? You scared to go in your apartment at all?”

“Man, I know we not walking all the way back over there. I got shit to do, P.”

Emoney complained.

“Child, anyway, we can walk back around there with you if you want to go get it. Don’t worry about what the fuck Emoney is talking about.”

“Alright, let’s do it if you don’t mind. I have way too much going on to be without a phone right now.” My head fell back in frustration.

“Of course I don’t mind. I’m here for you, girl. Come on, Emoney,” Pernelle told Emoney, who smacked her lips loudly again, but started walking as she was told.

We strolled back around the pathway through the courtyards full of people standing out.

The Johnson boys were in a huddle smoking weed with some more of their homeboys.

Mr. Perez was cooking meat on the pit with a few people standing around him, and I’m sure crackhead Kwame was smoking crack in the tent he sat up next to building five.

Once we made it back to my building's door, Emoney had her arms wrapped around Pernelle from behind.

Seeing them hugged up was always funny to me because Emoney is about 5’5 and Pernelle is 5’7.

Though the height difference was funny, I really couldn’t laugh at their relationship.

They were doing better than me and mine, that’s for sure.

I never heard about Emoney fuckin’ around on Pernelle despite her being a whore in her past life.

Ant wasn’t here this time, so I tugged on the door of the building for a good minute before it finally opened, and I walked inside.

“Yo, Emoney! Let me holler at you!” We turned around and Emoney’s friend, Elijah was sitting at the bottom of the steps on a bike.

“Baby, are y'all good to go up there alone?” Emoney tried to talk even deeper when niggas were around.

“Yeah, I guess we are, but you better not run off and leave us out here, Ebony.”

Pernelle warned her and she went down the stairs, slapping hands with Elijah. We continued into the building, and Pernelle was on my heels, almost running me over from behind.

“Girl, why I’m kind of scared going in here now?”

“Why? Because we don’t have Emoney little ass with us? Who was she really going to protect anyway, P? No offense.”

“None taken. As much as I’ve beat her ass, I know she is not a protector. I just wanted her here because she is someone to trip if a killer is after us so we can escape.”

“You are not serious, like at all.”

Once again, she had me laughing when nothing should be funny right now.

I walked over to the stairwell and reached for the door, only it opened from the inside.

When Ant stepped out, it made me and Pernelle start feeling dainty with such a strong manly presence around.

“Hey, Ant.” Pernelle had her index finger in her mouth.

“What up, Pernelle.” He chunked his head back at us, stepping past with a bag of garbage in his hand. When the door shut, Pernelle went right to running her mouth.

“Is it just me or is he fuckable as hell these days? I mean, ever since he cut them dreads off, I really been seeing a potential fuck in him.”

“I’ve been seeing it too. He quiet, fine, and minds his business. You can’t ask for a better nigga than that. You know, sometimes I catch him looking at me. He’s never said anything crazy though. The convos be super chill.”

“That’s because you had that hound dog Kairo standing over you cock blocking this entire time. I wonder what he would say now that you will be single for a while.”

I shrugged my shoulders because I'm not sure what to say. Maybe he would make a move now if he is interested.

Pernelle and I made it to my door, and I took a few seconds before I twisted the lock and stepped into the landfilled that I called home.

There was so much shit on the floor that stepping into the apartment took concentration.

It smelled of nothing but bleach and cleaner so much that I wanted to vomit.

“Yeah, now is the time for your get back, sis. Even if you don’t move on completely, just get a little payback for having to clean up all this shit.”

My fucking tv was broken, my lamps, and there was a big ass hole in the wall that I never noticed in the chaos.

What hurt me the most is when I looked near the window seal and all two of my plants were smashed with soil and leaves knocked over on the floor.

That shit enraged me. Tears started forming in my eyes and the hate I had for Kairo grew twice the size.

“Pernelle, call Emoney and tell her to come walk you back home.”

“Why? Are you staying here tonight?”

“No, I’m going to try and stay upstairs if I can. Fuck this shit.”

Pernelle squinted her eyes, confused at first, before a smirk slowly started to form like the Grinch.

“Do your thing, sis. I definitely ain’t mad at you.”

I walked back into my bedroom, which was still neat because the fight hadn’t come inside here. Pernelle followed me into the room and sat down on the bed and pulled out her phone to check whatever social media account she wanted to at the moment, while I got dressed.

Going into my panty drawer I grabbed lace white panties, my laced white bra, and a cute pajama set to wear over it.

After stepping into the bathroom and starting the shower, I did my entire hygiene routine thoroughly and quickly because I was ready to get out of this apartment.

I washed my body, my hair, my face, and shaved the hair on the top of my coochie.

Once I was done showering, I turned the water off, dried off, and then put my clothes on. When I came out of the restroom, I grabbed the one bottle of real perfume that I have off my dresser which only had a few squirts left.

“That smells so good, Ci. Is that the Very Sexy perfume that I got for you for Christmas?”

“Yes, well the Very Sexy sample that you stole from the mall.”

“Purchased, stole, it’s still the thought that counts, bitch.”

“You’re right.”

I laughed while grabbing my body cream.

“You know I got you, girl. So, you really are about to go upstairs?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll have to see this to believe it.”

“Well get ready to see it. Let’s go.” We left out of the door, and I knew that I had to make a move now, because if I calm down, the shit won’t happen again.

Pernelle and I ended up splitting up in the staircase, and I went up a floor to the third level. Once I walked out into the hallway, I saw exactly why it's always so loud overhead.

There were junkies in the hallway. I was walking over bottles of trash liquor and blunt wrappers. One of these trifling bitches even had a pile of dirty diapers sitting by her door. I wanted to take another bath just looking at this shit. I know his place better be clean or I’m leaving.

I knew which unit he stayed in because I’d saw him go inside mailbox 73249 often. That means his apartment is number 249 on the 3 rd floor.

When I found his apartment, I knocked on the door, hugging my body until I heard the locks start to turn on the other side. He answered the door with his shirt off and a game controller in one hand.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” He raised an eyebrow, looking at me from head to toe.

“I was just coming up here to see if. Well, I wanted to know if you would be interested in.” I tried my hardest to muster up the words, but I hadn’t ever come on to a man like this before.

“Interested in what?”

“In having sex with me tonight. But, if you aren’t interested, then I understand, and I apologize for coming on to you. I am just hoping to explore, but I hope I didn’t offend you.”

“Nah, come in.” He interrupted my rambling.

I walked inside his apartment and then he guided me straight into his bedroom in his dark apartment.

The only light inside was casting from the screensaver on his huge ass television.

Once we got inside his bedroom, he stood behind me and started removing my clothing as he kissed me on my neck.

Once I was completely naked, he pulled my panties to the side before sucking on my pussy, making me grab the sheets under me.

He lifted his head from in between my legs.

“Don’t run from me. Stay your ass right here.”

He pulled my body closer to him, locking me in place.

Right now, I’m forgetting that I’m a married woman and I’ll have morals when this nightcap is over with in the morning. I learned that skill from my husband, the cheating ass professional inmate.