Page 16 of On Everything

Ciara

Pernelle and I rode the bus back to the projects alone because Emoney pretended to have something so important to do when her and Elijah left Watson.

Pernelle rode with her air pods in her ear, watching that Love Island show that she was so into.

I wasn’t big on reality television. Never have been.

It was just something about their version of reality that didn’t resonate with me.

Everyone on a beach, kissing on each other is crazy to a girl like me who’s only kissed one person before.

I didn’t even kiss Ant on our nightcap. My coochie got a kiss from him. but I sure as hell didn’t.

Seeing Hov getting out of the car with Jas, Crew’s sister, earlier made me have that jealous feeling I did not miss at all.

Why I felt that way about a man that isn’t even officially mine is crazy.

I’m wildin for that shit. I’m still a married woman, and Kairo should be the only person on earth that could have me feeling that way, even if I’m hoping to get completely over his ass too.

This nigga is going to live a long time.

I said to myself, seeing my phone ringing in silent mode with an incoming call from the jail.

I hadn’t answered his ass since the first day, but that hadn’t stopped him from calling.

I was so irritated right now from this long bus ride in this traffic, to Hov getting out the car with one of his many hoes, that I clicked accept on the call just to curse someone out right now.

After accepting the charges, the phone went silent before a whole bunch of background noise started. That was the worst thing about talking to Kairo in jail. The immature ass niggas in the background keeping up more noise than children on a fucking playground.

“Hello, hello? Ciara?”

I held my words for a moment. Hearing his voice brought up so many feelings inside of me that I shouldn’t feel.

The familiarity of it kept me answering his calls back in the day.

The way our conversation flowed smoothly when we would talk over the phone.

Our trauma bond started here in this same position.

Him being locked up and me needing to be needed and loved by him.

“What is it that you want, Kairo?”

I finally spoke.

“What do you mean what I want, Ciara? I want you. I need you, I only want to exist to be with you.”

“And Jessica, the stripper who you stepped out with. The reason you’re a murderer now.”

I talked softly so others wouldn’t hear my conversation. Pernelle was so deep into her phone that I don’t think she even noticed that I am on mine.

“Baby, I know what I did with her is a mistake, and God is finally showing me that lying to you will never end me up in a good place. When I finish this bid, I’m going to be everything you need for the rest of our lives. All for you, baby. On everything.”

He made me roll my eyes.

“Kairo, I’ve heard that shit a million times, and I’m not trying to hear it any longer. You fucked over me for the last time and my trust for you or the next nigga is gone!”

“Fuck you mean for the next nigga? There won’t be a next nigga. You are my wife.”

His tone quickly changed. His ass was no longer begging now.

“You heard what I said, Kairo. I won’t trust the next nigga, but I damn sure will have one. I already fucked a nigga the other night anyway.”

Though hurtful to him, the words flowed smoothly off my lips.

“What the fuck you just say!”

“Yeah, nigga, I fucked a nigga in our bed the other night.” I sat up in the seat, feeling myself as I hyped up my experience with Ant.

“Bitch, are you losing your mind?”

“Just like you lost me. The man I’m fucking with now got my entire place remodeled. I’m about to be living good while you’re enjoying that tiny ass shoebox because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants!”

Unable to control my voice and my anger, Pernelle was now the only person near me unaware that I’d just read Kairo’s ass for filth. Every eye on the bus was on me. I didn’t want that to happen, but I couldn’t help myself. He needed to get this work from me right now. Fuck it.

“Bitch, I will kill you. Wait until I get out of here. You going to regret telling me some bullshit like that.”

I hung up the phone in his face. His threats didn’t mean shit to me with where he is. He is no more dangerous to me than a caged lion is at a zoo. I hope he tosses and turns all night in that fuckin cot.

I was off the phone for a good five minutes when Pernelle finally turned over her shoulder towards me and took out one of her AirPods.

“Girl, why I think I want me a white man like Nic?”

“At this point, friend, I don’t know what you want.”

“Me either.” She frowned.

“Huda! Stop crying over these niggas and be the bad bitch you are!” she put her AirPod back into her ear and tuned back into that show.

She had no idea that I'd just put on a quick reality show on this bus of my own. Let's see if Kairo will call back anytime soon so that the people listening can get episode two. I'm not sparing his feelings at all.

Once we got off the bus, we decided to go up to my place because it was closest to the bus stop.

“Ci, why I’m nervous coming up in here? I feel like a damn ghostbuster right now.”

Pernelle stood behind me as I twisted the locks on my door.

The apartment was pitched black, and when I flicked the light switch on, of course Pernell had to make a big deal out of the brand new scene inside.

“Bittcccchhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

She stretched out her words, sucking her teeth and touching everything new from the new couch to the pillows sitting on it.

“Where did all of this come from? The couch, the shag rug, the fucking tv. What the fuck, Ciara?”

I giggled at her excitement before I decided I may as well go ahead and tell her.

“Someone cleaned up the place for me yesterday. I told you they would be.”

“Why didn’t you tell me they were doing all of this?”

“I wanted to surprise you, friend.”

I walked into the kitchen to grab a water from the fridge.

“You want one?” I asked Pernelle.

“Sure. But let me not drink it on this new furniture. Chile, I’m going to come stand up in the kitchen.”

I handed her a bottle of water, and the conversation stopped for a minute while we both took down half of our bottles in one gulp.

“Whew, this was exactly what I needed.”

“Me too. So now that our throats aren’t dry anymore, you ready to tell me who bought all this shit for you friend? A foundation from the assistance center? Did you write a check from them people account, friend? I need to know, I need to get put on.”

“No, hoe. Does it look like I’m trying to be arrested for fraud?”

I laughed before knocks came to the door and interrupted our conversation.

Me and Pernelle looked at one another before she picked up her phone, instantly getting irritated with Emoney.

“I told her I would come down when she was ready, damn. I haven’t even gotten a chance to sit and gossip with my bitch yet.”

She set the water down on the counter and then walked over to the door, swinging it open with an attitude.

“Emoney, I freaking told you!” She stopped talking suddenly and the pause was quite eerie to say the least.

“P, who is it?” I hit the corner; stuck in the same spot I stood when I saw Hov’s standing at my door.

“Ho, ho, Hov? Hey.”

Pernelle was stuttering and tripping over her words so much that I stepped in front of her.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” He chucked his head up at me.

“May I ask you what you are doing here?”

“I’m here to check out the work that I paid for. Seeing you is a plus too. May I come inside?”

Where I was kind of irritated with him from what I saw earlier, I couldn’t be completely rude to him because of what he did for my place. I guess letting him inside would be the right thing to do.

“Fine, come inside.”

Hov stepped inside and looked around the apartment, nodding his head with approval.

“What do you think about it?” I questioned on his trail.

“It’s nice to me, but if you like it is most important.”

He turned to look at me.

“So, do you?”

“I love it.”

We looked into each other’s eyes at that moment, making me bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling.

“Can I see you in the other room for a minute, Ciara?”

He tilted his head towards my room, and I swear every fucking motion he made was sexier than the last.

“I guess you can. You first.” He turned and opened my room door, and I looked back at Pernelle, whose mouth was literally on the floor.

“I promise, I’ll explain everything to you.”

“Bitch, you fucking better.”

“Okay, okay, I will. Don’t leave!”

I mouthed to her, following Hov into the room.

When the door shut, the light casting from the living room was gone, and I had to rush over to my lamp to light up the room.

The overhead light hasn’t worked in months and never stayed working too long when Mr. Lopez would fix it.

I like to credit that to all the loud ass neighbors I have above me walking hard as hell.

“Didn’t I tell you not to leave the courts without coming to me first?”

He bit his lip.

“So, you are not my boss or my father. I do what I want.”

He smiled a little, adjusting the weight on his foot and nodding his head.

“You can do what you want to a certain extent. If I tell you to get with me, it’s for a reason, so respect that shit.”

“And that reason was?”

“To take you home. You don’t need to ride no city bus alone at night. If some shit happens to you leaving somewhere I am, then what kind of nigga does that make me?”

“I don’t know, Hov. You talk like we are together.”

“Shit, aren’t we?”

His head tilted slightly with his eyes squinted, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. He was dead ass right now, and I’m mad at myself for laughing at him like this shit is cute. Well, actually it kind of is but that's beside the point.

“Anyway, Hov, what is it that you wanted to talk about in here?”

“Nah, nah.”

He walked up closer to me.

“Before we move on, tell me that you will never do no shit like that again.”