Page 26 of On Everything
Ciara
“Ci, our driver is a minute away, are you sure you are going to wait here for him out here by yourself?”
“Yeah, I mean he told me he was on the way.”
I looked to the east side of the block and then to the west, but he was still nowhere to be found. My balance wasn’t the best with the gallons of mimosa I’d drank and peed out. That was causing a sway in my stance and making these heels feel ten times worse than when I first put them on.
“I’ll just stay here and if he doesn’t’ show up, I’m blocking his ass this time.”
“Okay then girl.”
Her phone started chiming.
“But this is our black truck right here. I hate to leave you.”
“I’m okay. I promise. I’ll call you when I get home.”
“Okay bestfriend. I love you. Happy birthday again. I hope you get some tonight.”
“I doubt that but I love you more.”
She gave me a hug before her Emoney, Elijah, and the cousins all filed into the car.
Elijah got in last taking another look back at me.
I can be honest and say that his presence wasn’t as annoying today as it’s been in the past. I am however tipsy as hell so maybe that is why I could deal with him.
Drunk Ciara is a lot more patient than the sober one which is the only reason I’m standing here waiting on Hov.
When Pernelle’s truck pulled off, I tapped my foot on the curve, ignoring the advances of the men walking by. I was letting what they were saying go in one ear and out the other but when I felt arms wrap around my waist from the back, I turned around to slap the fuck out of whoever was touching me.
“Don’t fuckin touch-!”
I bald my fist up, quickly losing hostility when I was looking into Hov’s chest.
“What are you doing? You scared me.”
“My bad Killa.”
He did a big hearty laugh.
“I wasn’t trying to scare you. I just wanted all these niggas out here to know that your ass is mine. I been watching them try and speak to you from up the street.”
“You keep saying I’m yours. Delusional as hell.”
I playfully rolled my eyes.
“Come on, let’s go hop in my delusional ass car birthday girl. It's on MacDonough St and Lewis Ave.”
He and I took off walking down the street and I caught quick glances of him the entire way to the car.
Even with these high ass heels on he still towered over me and that shit just turned me on for some reason.
Though, I shouldn’t let him turn me on after all the points he’s lost in the past few days.
Though he loses them, he still finds a way to get some back by just being so good looking and smooth as hell.
When we approached some people coming up the opposite way on the sidewalk, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in closer to his body.
“Get right here because if one of these niggas bump you. I’m going to slap one of they ass.”
He held me tight like I am a three year old little girl and I liked the feeling of being protected. He made me feel like I could take on the world and the world would lose being next to him. That’s how powerful Hov’s aura is.
His jawline showed strength, his arms, and hands were both strong and powerful and I even noticed a few scars on his knuckles, probably from making his power known to others.
With the way his feet planted heavily after every step and he held his chin in the air, you could just tell his confidence couldn’t be fucked with.
There was just something else going on with him too.
It was like he had more than one thing running through his mind right now.
We took off in his car from the curb, instantly caught in traffic on Fulton Street.
Hov’s silence confirmed that unsettled look in his eyes of something running through his mind, but I let him have his silence for now.
I didn’t want to pry or make it seem like I knew how it is to have his issues because I don’t.
Being in the streets comes with a termination letter that you don’t get to live through most times.
Either you end up in prison like Kairo, dead and six feet deep or crumbled up inside of a vase.
So, I’m sure his work was stressful to him and that made me wonder how Hov relaxes.
What does he do to take the edge off at times when he feels overwhelmed.
“Can I ask you something?”
He turned down the music to hear me better.
“Yeah?”
“What do you do for fun?”
“What I do for fun? Make money.”
“Making money is not fun, Hov. It’s stressful and it keeps you from having actual fun with the money that you make. What would Hov do if he had all the money in the world and extra time to just do him.”
He flashed his pretty ass smile.
“Fun to me might be seeing the world, the pyramids and shit, all the wonders of the world.”
“So, you’re a history buff?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I feel like the pyramids and everything that has been here since the beginning of time holds power.
Those places and things survived hundreds of years, some millions, and that’s the type of resilience I want to inherit in my visit.
I want a big ass statue of me up in the center of New York once the aliens take over. ”
“Aliens? You really believe in them?”
“Hell yeah. All this universe and you think we the only muthafuckas here? Shit go to 3 rd Ave, and I bet you see four or five aliens out that bitch right now.”
The laugh snuck out of my mouth, and I belted out holding my stomach. It was so funny because he wasn’t lying and me being drunk doesn’t help.
“You’re silly. Well, do you believe in God?”
“Sometimes.”
He cleared his throat.
“Why just sometimes?”
“Because it’s hard for me to believe all the time when I’ve seen so much fucked up shit. Believing in the devil is a lot easier where I come from.”
My stomach dropped because there was a time Kairo came home from jail talking crazy about not believing in a higher power and how we are all just figments of each other’s imagination.
He didn’t start believing in God again until he prayed before a court hearing once and then the charges got dismissed.
God was so real to him then, but his actions still rubbed me the wrong way.
I may not go to church all the time, but God is very real to me and that matters when picking a partner.
“So, you’re an atheist?”
“Nah, I believe in God. I just feel like sometimes I don’t see him as much as other people. Like where is he at when niggas who are close to me are getting shot, or when people I love are snaking me.”
“I get that, but that’s why we all have to have faith right. Faith is an existence that is not seen physically. That’s why it’s called faith”
He looked over at me and shook his head.
“I guess you right about that and I’m sure I’ll find my faith again one day.”
“Good, I’m happy you haven’t lost hope completely. Try and look at God as the root of a plant. He may not show himself to the naked eye but underneath your soul he is nourishing you and trying to help you grow despite what is happening in your world.”
He nodded his head and then started to shake it as if I were really making a lot of sense to him. I’m glad, because my mind is not all there at the moment.
“See what I’m saying Ciara. You can be my homie, lover, and pastor. You drunk as hell and still wise.”
“Ahh.” I scoffed.
“I am not drunk, trust me.”
My slurring words wasn’t helping my case.
“You something, but trust me, you’re good with me. I’m going to take care of you. You can get drunk as you want, high as whatever and you still safe.”
“Hov, thank you for real.”
He nodded his head to acknowledge me, and I smiled back placing my hand on his smooth, tatted forearm. This was probably the first time I ever initiated contact on him. Normally it was him wrapping his arms around me or invading all of my personal space.
“You smell so good.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder hoping to be engulfed in the scent.
People just don't understand what a good cologne can do to someone else's senses. It heightens them and makes them pay attention. At least it was that way for me with Hov right now. To think it’s my birthday and he’s the one demanding all the attention in the car without even trying to.
He’s a magnetic force if I’ve never been around one.
The car wasn't moving for a good minute, but when we started coasting his car started to feel more and more like a spaceship.
My stomach started to churn with every motion and each time he leaned into the wheel, I felt like my stomach got more and more uneasy.
When I felt my insides getting hot and I started to sweat, I knew what this meant immediately.
“Hov?”
“What’s up mama?”
“Pull the car over, now.” I could barely get out my words before I was projectile vomiting all over his dashboard.
Hov pulled the car over and I opened the door leaning out and throwing up my soul up onto the concrete below.
“What the fuck going on over there! Eww, that bitch throwing up”
A man shouted across the street, and I heard Hov’s door shut.
“Mind your fuckin’ business before I come over there and beat your ass!”
“My bad, my bad big money. Have a blessed day”
He shouted before Hov stood in front of me.
“Fuckin feens.” He mumbled.
Once I’d thrown up every piece of the oxtail mac and cheese I ate earlier, I was scared to look up at Hov who was standing right in front of me.
“You alright mama? Here, drink this.” He handed me the water he had sitting in his cup holder. I chugged the bottle fast as hell and then threw it down on the concrete next to that nasty ass pile of my guts that I just threw up.
“I’m sorry Hov, I’m so sorry.”
Drunk tears ran down my face and he chuckled while wiping them off.
“It's okay. Shit happens. Do you have energy to keep your day going or are you too sick to go somewhere else?”
“I honestly think I need to just go home and lay down. My head is spinning like a tornado right now.”
“But you wasn’t drunk tho.”
He smirked.
“But lay back and relax shorty.”
He held my shoulder and leaned me back in the seat.
I was shaking my head slowly and crying as the car started moving when Hov took off.
He was right, and I am drunk and the more I try to fight it, the more it started to win.
Within seconds I was drifting off to sleep, unable to keep my eyes open any longer.
With the cool air sailing from the vents, and the leather seats so soft I see why Lil Wayne made a song about them.
I was out like a light within a few blocks, and that’s because I felt completely safe with him. Why I still don’t know.