Page 4 of On Everything

“So, you’re about to have to hold Kairo down once again? You need to try and get on Love After Lock Up the next time he gets out. At least profit from being a professional prison wife at this point.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“I’m not doing that dumb ass show, Pernelle, and I’m not even sure that I will communicate with Kairo on the other side this time. Especially since he in this situation because he cheated on me.”

“See, I told you that nigga was no good. You wonder why I eat pussy now.”

“Well, I don’t care how bad niggas are, I’m not eating no pussy. No disrespect to your community though.”

Pernelle was going through what I’m sure is a phase because I know her male-centered ass can only front for so long.

Once a fine man crosses her path, she will be kicking Emoney and her backpack out on the curb.

This has howeva been going on longer than I imagined.

When they first hooked up, me and Kairo had a bet of it not lasting past two weeks.

“Anyway, best friend. Do you need to come stay with us tonight? I hate you going through this.”

“You sound like a lifesaver P because I really didn’t want to walk inside my apartment tonight. I just wish all of this was a dream.”

Besides the disgust, the betrayal, the mess inside my apartment walls, I was heartbroken yet again and wondering what I did to deserve this shit.

I cook, I clean, I work. Kairo has a perfect girl, and he would rather wine and dine a stripper.

That’s why being a good person doesn’t always pay off.

Sometimes you are a good person for free.

“Okay, we will come and get you now. Just stay inside the building and me and Emoney will walk over and meet you.”

“Thanks, girl.”

“You’re welcome, best friend. I am on the way.”

We hung up the phone and I took off back towards the staircases to wait on her.

“Yo Ciara!” Markelle, my teenage neighbor, stuck his head out of the door, looking half decent because his hair wasn’t all over his head.

His hair was cut fresh and lined up because of Kairo cutting it just yesterday evening.

That was one thing about Kairo, he gave out free cuts to the boys in our building who looked up to him.

“What’s up, Kel?”

“Sup? Did Kairo get out?”

“No, he’s being hit with gun possession as a felon. I’m not sure how long he will be in this time.”

“Damn man, and I just sold him that gun too. He told me he needed it for his opps, but I thought he was just bullshitting. I didn’t think he had no opps for real.

Shit, everybody fuck with the nigga around here.

” He shook his head, giving me more information than I knew.

I thought it was weird that I hadn’t saw this gun anywhere around the apartment before he pulled it out and killed someone.

After all, there wasn’t really any hiding spaces around our unit.

I spring clean damn near every week to make sure the rats never want to make a home up in my apartment.

“Now I feel bad for selling it to him, but mama needed money for the lights yesterday, so I jacked it up off some dude outside Denny’s Barbershop.”

“Markelle, you really shouldn’t be robbing and taking shit from people. You’re going to end up like Kairo, in and out of jail.”

“And I would rather that over the graveyard like the nigga he popped. You don’t get a release date out of there.”

He shrugged his shoulders, and my phone started ringing.

“Look who it is. Let me take this. I’ll see you around, Kel.”

“Alright, bet. But ayo, Ciara?”

“Yes?”

“You think I can be your new man once I turn eighteen. I’ll stay out of trouble for you.” He had a little devilish smirk on his underdeveloped face.

“In your dreams, Kel. Go back in the house.”

I rolled my eyes as I walked away from him. Of course, Kairo let a sixteen year old get him in trouble. Let’s just hope that gun didn’t have any bodies on it that they will make his dumb ass claim.

I hit accept on the call and pressed one because I knew exactly how this process works.

“Hello. Ciara, can you hear me?”

Kairo’s voice cracked. He had been crying, and I could tell. He was always hard up until that first phone call with me.

“Yes, I can hear you. But really, Kairo! Really!”

“Ciara baby, just listen!”

“Don’t Ciara baby me, nigga!”

“Ciara, just calm down and please don’t kick me while I’m down, alright? Look, I’m sorry about this shit happening, and I promise I am going to make it right when I get out of here. I’m sure I won’t get much time, and-”

“And nothing, Kairo!” I interrupted him.

“Let’s discuss what is really important right now. The reason that Diablo dude came to our house anyway!”

“He’s lying, yo. I wasn’t fuckin’g his bitch. I don’t even know his bitch.”

“Kairo, stop. You’re not about to lie to me. I will hang up this phone on your ass. Man up and say you fucked his lady. Don’t I at least deserve the truth?”

Kairo was quiet for a moment, and the only thing I could hear in this moment was my feet against the metal steps in the staircase.

“Alright, Ciara. Alright, fuck. I fucked up by messing with that girl, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you more. Baby, I’m sorry. It will never happen again. I promise.”

“Wow, Kairo. Just wow.”

Overwhelmed with emotions, I placed my thumb on the end button, feeling as if I was going to explode on this nigga.

How the fuck could he do me like that and after promising me he would never step out on me?

That’s why I stuck it out with him through ups and downs because I thought we had each other’s backs.

He put it on everything that he would never cheat again.

Now I see everything to him means nothing.

When I saw Pernelle outside the door, I pushed it opened and walked out to her, bursting out in tears as soon as my forehead touched her shoulder.

“I feel so stupid, I feel so dumb. How could he be doing me like that? How could he do something to fuckin leave me again? After all I’ve been doing for him! I’m so mad P!”

“Shoo, shoo. Shorty, nu uh. We not doing that. You better toughen your ass up and roll with these punches. Fuck Kairo and I been telling you that. Bitch, look at you. You are fine shit and naturally with good ass hair, pretty ass teeth, and a banging ass body. It’s his loss and you need to treat that as such.

His trifling ass is about to be locked up getting fucked in the ass while you out here getting fucked in yours. ”

“P.”

“Well, I’m serious, shit. I can’t stand his ass.”

Her and I giggled after her wild ass statement because I could never be too sad, mad, or hurt around this crazy girl.

“But come on. Let’s go.”

We started walking the path to her building with our arms linked up with one another.

“I’m done with his ass for real this time. I love him, but I can’t keep putting my life on hold for him. This nigga leaving me with all these bills that are behind and a new credit card bill.”

Pernelle jerked her neck back.

“A credit card? Who has a credit card?”

“He opened up one in my name and spent it up on that chick, I’m sure. I just found the statement in the mail earlier today. I believed him too when he said he didn’t do it. Had I just went ahead and put his ass out, I wouldn’t have a crime scene ass apartment right now.”

“I hate to say it, Ciara, but he knows you’re dumb over him, and he tests you on that constantly.”

“I’m far from dumb.”

“Nah friend. I'm going to hold your hand when I say this, but for him, you are.”

Pernelle stopped our stroll to look me in my face.

She was a true friend because she was never there to be a yes man and tell me what I wanted to hear.

She would call me out on my bullshit and keep it real about things that others wouldn’t.

I simply bypassed what she said about Kairo in the past because I didn’t want to believe the truth about him.

To me back then, people just didn’t know him like I did, and that’s why I stuck beside him.

“Ciara, here is your opportunity to show him you are not dumb for his ass anymore. Do not put money on that nigga books, don’t answer his calls, get a divorce, and find you some new dick that is worthwhile. Your ass is not getting locked up. He is. Let him suffer alone.”

“Yeah, you right.”

I slowly started to feel the life Pernelle was speaking into me.

“I’m serious, Ciara.”

“And I am too. I’m not turning down anymore niggas being loyal to him. The next man that tries to holla at me, I’ll see what the fuck he talking about. Shit, I may even hit up a couple of men I think look good.”

“Exactly, don’t wait on the next nigga to approach you. You can do the approaching sis. Choose the dick and don’t let the dick choose you. It’s so much out there to hop and bounce on.”

“Ayo.”

Emoney reminded me that she was walking behind us.

“Pernelle, you talking a lot about dick up there, shorty. Chill with the disrespect.” Emoney’s voice was almost a growl now that she’s been making herself sound like a man all these years.

I remember when Emoney was just Ebony at Truman, fucking every nigga from our borough.

I guess she got enough dick to make her feel like she had one herself.

Now she had braids, a grill in her mouth, and a strap-on dick the length of Broadway as Pernelle said.

“Anyway, have you talked to your mama? I’m sure she heard what happened. Shit, my mama called me a few hours ago, and you know they run in the same little gang.”