Page 180 of On Edge

“Because every time I go to kill someone, I see your face.”

That’s not at all flattering. “Oh.”

“No, I mean…fuck, that came out wrong.” He rubs his hand over his face. “I’m done killing. You’ve made me realize it’s not what I want anymore, so I destroyed them.” His voice is flat, void of emotion. “I melted my razors down, all six of them. Mercy’s the only one left, and she’s yours.”

I stare at him. I didn’t even know he had a collection or that he sees them as girls. “I think… that’s for the best.”

He gives a stiff nod. “Me too.”

Snow falls between us like a veil. I’m suddenly drained, that’s probably why I’m so crabby.

“Why are you doing this?” My voice echoes my tiredness. “Sitting out here watching me like a creeper, gifting me your razor. What do you want from me?”

You left me at the altar.

I wait for Nell to chip in, but she’s silent. Has been for weeks.

Troy’s quiet too, for a long moment, snowflakes catch in his hair and stick to his eyelashes. One lands on his cheekbone. The urge to lick it off comes out of nowhere.

Urgh, I hate myself.

When he finally speaks, his voice sounds raw in my ears. “Nothing. I want nothing from you except to know you’re safe. I left you alone last time, and look what happened.”

“Bullshit.”

He frowns deeply. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to leave?”

“Yes, no…fuck it.”

His lips curve. “You’re cute when you curse.”

I shoot him a look. “I want you to tell me the truth, if you’re even capable of that.”

“I want…” He stops. Swallows hard. “I want you not to hate me, but I don’t deserve to ask that or expect that. I’ll settle for knowing you’re alive and safe from your family, even if you never want to see me again.”

“That’s kind of hard when you’re outside my house 24/7.”

I shiver, but not because of that, but because the cold snow has managed to get down my collar. I should go back inside. This is exactly the kind of thing that made me fall for him in the first place…his brutal honesty wrapped in shades of gray.

There’s no black and white with Troy. There’s no good and evil; like me, he’s a bit of both. I don’t feel like I’m tainted when he looks at me, nor am I pure as driven snow.

And he gets that.

“Fuck, you’re getting cold. Wait, let me.” He whips out his phone and starts tapping and swiping until a car appears on the road next to us, moving slowly, until it glides to a stop.

Troy just remotely drove his Tesla closer to us.

He ushers me over to it and opens the door. Heat blasts from inside as I climb into the passenger seat.Dog Modeblinks at meon the dash before I hear his soft whine behind me, and a wet nose nudges my hand.

“Ben!” I rub his ears. “Such a good boy.”

Troy gets in the driver’s seat, dragging off his cap. “Gah, it’s like ice out there.” He fiddles with the spaceship-looking buttons on the central touchscreen, cranking up the warm air around us.

Then he looks at me. “Right, where were we?”

“You left me at the altar. In front of everyone. You made me look like a fool.”

“I’m so so sorry I did that to you.”