Page 179 of On Edge

Troy is far from dramatic, but I say nothing.

I take a sip, still watching the snowman come to life. “So he hasn’t tried to come up?”

“No. Nola asked him yesterday, when she left here, if you needed to get a restraining order. He just said he just needed to know you were safe from your family and that he’d leave if you told him to go.”

My frozen heart melts a little, and I hate that it does. “Shit. Should I tell him to go?”

“No. Fuck him, let him freeze.”

The snow is falling harder now, and Troy pulls his coat tighter, and even from here, I can see him shivering. I got to get up, but then stop.

“I should at least talk to him.”

Laine lets out a sigh again, like I’m even getting the healing part wrong. With Nola turning up in the middle of the night, covered in bruises and bite marks from her supposedghost, she’s worried about us both. “Maybe, you don’t have to forgive him, but if you are going out there, I suppose you should tell him to go home before he dies of exposure in my driveway. The property prices will tank if there’s another dead body in the school catchment area.”

I give her a shadow of a smile. It feels strange on my lips, awkward, like I’ve forgotten how. But I need to get used to it, Laine’s ten weeks gone. She’s only told me, Nola, and Jaxon, of course, until the first scan, but I’m so excited for her.

But as the weeks tick by, I’m beginning to think I should move out soon. It’s been so lovely here. Laine has been amazing. Jaxon, too, as I’ve got to know him. He’s…very chivalrous when he wants to be, the kind of man who changes lightbulbs and takes the trash out, without asking, and then immediately wantsLaine to acknowledge his heroism. It’s adorable, really. Even if he does give me the creeps when he looks at me sometimes, like he’s imagining what I look like with my insides turned out. Laine says to ignore him when he gets like that, but I’m starting to think it’s time to leave. There will be another person living here soon, and I’m not entirely naive to think Laine and Jaxon will be happy having me here when the baby comes.

I put my tea down and let out a sigh of my own. “But what if I go down there to him and I can’t stay angry?”

She shrugs. “Then maybe you don’t want to be angry anymore.”

“Oh.”

“Cheer up, you still have bargaining, depression, and acceptance left.”

It’s freezingwhen I step outside. I pull my puffer coat around me, throwing my scarf over my mouth to keep warm. I feel like the Michelin Man. Snow keeps hitting me in the eyes, so it’s hard to see. I nearly trip over a rock hidden under all the white.

But Troy sees me and immediately grabs hold, stopping me from falling at his feet. Puffs of snow tumble off him as he steadies me. “Sage, are you okay?”

This close, he looks awful. His face is pale, his lips nearly blue, his stubble dark against his skin. His eyes are bloodshot, shadowed with exhaustion, but when they look at me, his forest-green eyes drown me where I stand.

How dare he look so bad, yet still make me want him!

“You know you’re going to die out here, right?” But it comes out muffled.

He shakes his head. “Your scarf, I can’t hear you.”

I drag the wool from around my face. “You’re hypothermic!”

“Oh, I’m f-fine.” But he’s not, his teeth chattering on the last word.

“Here.” I shove a box at him, not wanting to touch him. “I’m returning this.”

He takes it from me and opens it. A dark look flickers in his face when he sees what’s inside.

“Mercy,” he says quietly.

He named his razor. Oh God. “It’s yours. I shouldn’t have taken it.”

“Keep it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“It’s always been yours.” He puts the box on the bench. “I’ll never use it anyway. That part of my life... It’s done with.”

“Really? You are? W-why?”