Page 13 of On a Midnight Clear

As Christmas neared , Angel felt the age-old excitement of celebration.

She easily remembered those times when her mother was still alive , and they’d made merry for the holidays.

Mama had so loved Christmas. She always made it a point to tell a variety of Bible stories related to Jesus’s birth and the excitement that there must have been among the Jewish people.

They had waited so very long for their Messiah , and now He had come.

“Remember when we were talking about Jesus being the Light?” she said to the children as they read from the Bible.

Both nodded, and even Benjamin seemed more interested than he had been when Angel had first arrived.

“We talked about the Bible verses in John that spoke about Jesus being the Light of the world. Sin creates a darkness in our souls and leads us to sorrow and separation from God. Jesus says He’s the Light, and if we follow Him, we shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

” She turned back to the first chapter in John.

“John also says that Jesus was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. There are many references in the Bible that show God associated with light. He says ‘Let there be light’ in Genesis when He forms the world. The glory of the Lord shone round about when the angels came to announce the birth of Jesus. That must have been a truly brilliant light. And of course when the wise men came to see Jesus, how did they find Him?”

“A star! They followed the star’s light,” Benjamin said.

Angel nodded. “Jesus is the true Light for us, and we need to be light for others.”

“But why?” Benjamin asked.

“To lead them to Jesus.” Angel was excited that he was asking questions about the lesson. He had never been quite this interested before. To her, it showed real progress. “When we let the light of Jesus shine out of our hearts, people see it and know we’re different.”

“But we don’t really shine, do we?” the boy questioned. He looked at Angel.

“We shine in love and hope. When we live a life for Jesus, people notice that we’re different.

When we are forgiving and kind when others deserve our anger, the light shines.

Your great-granny Duran is an example of someone shining the light of Jesus.

She’s always doing acts of kindness and helping folks who need help, but she also lives her life in such a way that the Word of God comes out of her in her everyday conversations.

She is able to share what God has done for her and help others to want that same thing for themselves. She’s shining the light of Jesus.”

“Mama liked the light,” Ava offered. “She always liked having the windows open so there would be lots of light.”

“I remember your papa telling me that,” Angel said, gently touching Ava’s cheek.

“Light is so important. Psalm 27:1 says, ‘The L ord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the L ord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?’ That’s our memory verse for this week.

We need to always remember that we have nothing to fear with God.

He is our light, and He will show us the way. ”

They practiced saying the verse a couple of times, and then Angel instructed them to write it out. Benjamin easily mastered this, but Ava needed help, so Angel carefully worked with her while Benjamin sat in silence.

Angel could see that he was deep in thought. She hoped that maybe he was thinking about God being there to light their way—to keep them from fear. She hoped he might realize that he could still trust God and rest in Him, despite his mother’s passing.

After they finished their lessons for the day, Angel got Benjamin busy bringing in wood while she put Ava to work cracking eggs in a bowl for the fruitcake they were going to make.

She had to admit that things were going a little better.

She’d written a long letter to Granny the night before, hoping that it wouldn’t be too long before she could mail it.

“Ava, you can beat the eggs after you get them in the bowl. I’m going to go out to the barn and speak to your father for a moment. Be a good girl.”

“I will.” Ava smiled at her. “Angel, I’m glad you’re here.”

Angel paused and looked at the little girl. “I’m glad I am too.”

Ava turned her attention back to her work, but the moment was precious to Angel. It seemed as each day passed, her life here in Wyoming was getting better. The children were adapting to her as their new mother, and even Vincent was showing more affection toward them and Angel as well.

She pulled on her coat and headed outside. The air was cold, but not nearly as damp as it would have been in Nebraska. It was the dampness that made it so bone-chilling, Vincent had told her. Here in Wyoming, the ground and the air were much drier. It made heat and cold a little more tolerable.

“Vincent?” she called, coming into the barn.

“I’m back here,” he answered.

She made her way past the wagon and stacks of grain.

Vincent was quite organized in his work, and the barn was no exception.

She smiled at the sight of it, knowing that her father and brothers would have marveled at the meticulous order but also given Vincent a hard time for the effort he gave it.

Her father always said that his barn might look like it was a mess, but he knew where everything was, right down to the last nail.

“Your smile lights up the room,” Vincent said as she joined him in the milking stall.

“I was just thinking of the complete dishevelment in my father’s barn, compared to your order. Mama would give him a hard time for not being organized, but Papa told her he knew where everything was.”

“I remember that too.” Vincent put aside the hammer he’d been using.

“Your pa would tell one of us boys to go get a certain thing, and we couldn’t see where it was to save ourselves.

Then your father would walk over to a messy pile and pick out the exact thing he was looking for and chide us for not seeing that it had been right there in plain sight. ”

Angel laughed. “I fell victim to that many times. Mama was much more orderly, and I came to really appreciate it. I think that’s one area where you and I are in complete agreement.”

“I think we have a lot in common, Angel. I know I haven’t said a great deal about it since Granny sent you out here, but I can’t imagine any other woman suiting me quite as well as you do.”

“That’s kind of you to say, Vincent. I was thinking about how things have been falling into place lately. The children don’t seem nearly as out of sorts with me. Even Benjamin is talking more, and I think he knows that I just want to help, rather than take his mother’s place.”

She met Vincent’s gaze and saw such tenderness in his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat when he pulled off his glove and reached out to touch her cheek.

“I know it’s been hard on you, Angel, but I mean for it to get better. We don’t always get much of a chance to talk, but I want you to know that I care a great deal about you ... about us.”

“I do too. I want to make you a good wife, Vincent. I know I can never be to you what Elsa was, but—”

He put his finger to her lips. “I don’t want you to be what Elsa was to me. I want us to have something entirely different. Something just as wonderful, if not better. I haven’t always thought that might be possible, but I do now.”

To her complete surprise, Vincent pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers.

For a moment she didn’t even know how to respond, but after that she couldn’t help but react.

She put her arms around his neck and returned the kiss.

The moment was all that she had dreamed of when she’d lost her heart to him at fifteen.

When he pulled away, she looked him in the eye, pleased to see that he showed no signs of being ashamed or having remorse for what had just taken place.

Instead, he smiled. “We’re going to be all right, Angel.”

Angel nodded. “Yes. I believe that we will be.”

Vincent was still thinking about that kiss the next day when he was in Cheyenne, shopping for a list of things Angel had given him.

She had managed to tell him her thoughts about getting the children some gifts for Christmas.

Vincent had never shopped alone for such things, but Angel had listed what she thought might be appropriate for Ava and encouraged him to contemplate what he might have liked as a boy while shopping for Benjamin.

By the time he was headed back to the farm, Vincent felt he’d done a satisfactory job.

He’d found a doll for Ava and a folding knife for Benjamin.

He got them both a bag of lemon drops, remembering how much they seemed to enjoy them.

Angel was making all sorts of goodies for their Christmas Day celebration, but he knew lemon drops weren’t among them.

Thoughts of Angel and their shared kiss had prompted him to buy her a couple of presents as well.

He remembered little things about her as a girl and hoped that she enjoyed what his granny called “ladies’ doodads.

” He’d purchased a pretty little hand mirror and brush that had carved wooden handles that had been artfully designed with swirled cuts and curlicues.

He’d also found a beautiful blue shawl that matched the color of her eyes.

Eyes that he couldn’t stop thinking about.

They always looked so captivated, as if the people around her were the most important in the whole world.

He hoped she’d like the gifts. Hoped she realized that with the kiss they’d shared, he was truly ready to move forward in their marriage.

He thought momentarily of Elsa and glanced heavenward.

“I know you’re somewhere with the Lord, Elsa,” he said, smiling.

“I don’t know if you know what’s going on down here on earth, but I want you to know we’re doing pretty well now.

It was the hardest thing I ever did, burying you and Paul.

I wasn’t sure I’d ever make it through. Probably wouldn’t have, if not for Benjamin and Ava.

I knew they needed me. I know, too, that I pushed them away to a point.

They needed more tenderness, and I just didn’t have it to give.

I’ve been mighty sorry for that. There were times I wasn’t sure I could go on. ”

He looked out across the vast open prairie. “But Angel has changed everything. I love her, Elsa. I hope that’s all right.” He thought of the brown-haired beauty and nearly laughed aloud. He could almost hear her chiding him for thinking it would be otherwise.

“I know. You told me you wanted me to marry again soon. You said the children needed a mother and that I needed someone to come alongside and love me. And that I needed to love again. I didn’t think it was possible, but I promised you just the same.

I think I can finally say I’ve kept my promise. I’ve started to love again.”

He thought of Angel and the joy she’d brought them.

Granny had been so wise in sending her, even if it had come in part to get Angel away from her sorrow and embarrassment at having been left at the altar.

He had never really allowed himself to consider her pain.

She must have been devastated, and yet she’d never spoken of it.

Hopefully now, with the growing love he felt for her, she’d never have to even think on it again.

“I think we’re going to be all right, Elsa. The children too. You said you were going to pray for us, and I guess I just want you to know that those prayers were answered.”

Angel was glad to hear the wagon rumbling along the drive into the barnyard. Vincent was home safe and sound. It was a relief since the western skies looked to be darkening once again with threats of snow. The wind had also picked up, and Angel figured Vincent would be chilled to the bone.

She checked the coffeepot, then added more wood to the stove.

Vincent said he’d be bringing back coal so they’d have it to bank up the stove at night, to help with heating the house.

She supposed he’d also use it out in the lambing shed, if he continued to sleep out there.

She was already thinking, however, of ways to suggest he return to the house and share her bed.

It was a bold thought, she knew, but they were married after all, and it was foolish for him to think of spending the winter in the lambing shed.

They were a family and needed to start acting like one.

The children needed to see them working together, laughing together, showing affection for each other.

Vincent opened the back door, then picked up a wood crate and entered the house. Angel stood ready to help in any way she could, but he just waved her off.

“This is heavy. I’ll just put it on the table.”

“You look froze to pieces. I’ve got hot coffee and freshly baked muffins to get you through to supper. The fire is built up in the front room, and there are blankets by the hearth. You go on and get yourself warmed up. I’ll bring you the coffee.”

He surprised her instead by turning around and pulling her into his arms. “You could just warm me up instead.” He put his cold face against her cheek.

Angel was surprised by his actions, but not put off. She wrapped her arms around him. “I doubt I’ll be as helpful as the fire.”

“Never underestimate the power of love,” he whispered against her ear.

Could he really be having such feelings for her? How she prayed it might be true. She pulled away slowly and studied his face for any sign of teasing. Instead, she found his expression intense and his eyes fixed on hers.

“Love?” she barely whispered.

“Would you mind?”

He still held on to her, and Angel was grateful. Her knees felt rather weak. She shook her head. “I don’t mind at all.”

Vincent smiled. “Good. Then we’re of one mind.” He pulled her close and once again kissed her.

Angel felt as if the world had suddenly turned upside down.

Her heart was overflowing with feelings that she had never known.

Her mind seemed to whir with thoughts until she could hardly hear what was going on around her.

Vincent made her feel things that no one had ever made her feel before.

It was clear to her that she’d never really known love for a man until that moment. What a gift to be given. Love.