Page 50

Chapter Fifty

I was no stranger to panic.

In fact, it had become so second nature I was almost comfortable with my spiraling. It let me be aware of any possible dangers that might be lurking where I least expected.

But if I was always expecting something bad to happen, then nothing could truly hurt as much, right?

But tonight, I had lost control completely. I had forgotten to be cautious. I had forgotten to worry about what could happen if I made the wrong move.

And I had. I really, truly had.

I’d kissed Liam, and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand what had propelled me to do it. And for a moment, I let myself believe he wanted it, too.

Maybe he had. But it probably didn’t mean the same thing to him that it did to me. He knew it, and I knew the moment the words left his lips.

We need to talk about this.

I knew what that meant. He was going to let me down easy. He probably saw that I’d fallen head over heels for him completely, the way he saw everything about me.

I was an idiot. The next time I saw him, we were both going to have to endure some pity let-me-down-easy conversation about how he really appreciated the kiss, but at the same time, I’d crossed over some major boundaries that there was no way for me to erase.

He wouldn’t even be able to avoid me the way he could dodge all the other girls who were obsessed with him because I was living in his house.

Which meant he was probably going to ask me to leave, which I should’ve done a long time ago. I’d stopped looking for apartments which meant I didn’t even have a lead on somewhere to go next.

Maggie’s mom had been out of her apartment for weeks now, but somehow, I never thought to go stay there instead.

Why? Because I didn’t want to impose on her. My best friend. But apparently, I didn’t have the same issue about imposing on her brother.

Not anymore. I couldn’t stay here another minute after what I’d just done.

I picked up my phone and called Maggie. She answered on the third ring.

“Maggie?” I asked, voice cracking the same way my chest was. “I need to stay with you.”