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Chapter Thirty-Eight

F or a minute, I was in heaven.

There was an arm wrapped snugly around my waist, a warmth radiating from the body next to mine, and a feeling of utter security that I leaned into in the early moments of waking up.

But then I realized.

Dave and I had broken up. And he’d never smelled like clean winter air or felt like safety, not like this.

My eyes shot open, seeing that it was Liam’s bed I was in, and his arm slung over me.

And then the humiliation hit.

I’d told him everything.

Things I’d never even told Dave. Why had I done it? Because Liam had asked.

And some part of me had trusted him.

But now, the same fear crept back in. He wasn’t permanent. He was going to leave. I had shown him too much, and it was going to overwhelm him, and I’d lose the only good thing going on in my life.

But here he was beside me.

For now.

But last night… his hands had been on me, my body curled around him. He held me and let me cry on him and let me fall asleep in his bed.

That had to mean something, didn’t it?

My phone buzzed by the bed and I scrambled away, leaving the room. I wasn’t ready to deal with waking up Liam and seeing any regret on his face over the intimacy of last night.

Maybe he had just comforted a girl who he knew was an emotional trainwreck, and that was all there was to it. I didn’t know for sure, and I wasn’t ready to find out.

In the living room, I looked down at my phone. Maggie had texted, asking if I wanted to grab a coffee. Relief washed over me, grateful for the opportunity to escape a morning filled with awkward conversation with Liam about how I’d dumped an entire life’s worth of trauma on him.

Get ready. Be there soon.

Maggie Brynn was probably the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. The type of girl whose hair always shined, skin always glowed, and makeup was somehow effortlessly perfect, no matter what.

But lately, she was radiant. And I think it had something to do with the new hockey boy that she was dating.

She looked happy and healthy and… in love.

And I wasn’t going to put a damper on that by talking about my same old issues that never seemed to go anywhere.

So, when she asked about my mom, I tried to give her the briefest rundown, if only so I didn’t have to dwell on it either.

“It’s the same old thing.” I sighed. “She’ll probably be out in a few days, then right back in the hospital in a few months.”

“I’m sorry, Cass,” she said, green eyes welling up with sympathy, the same way her brother’s had last night. “It sucks.”

“Yeah,” I brushed it off. “But enough of that. Tell me about you and the beautiful man you had wrapped around your finger last night.”

Maggie beamed.

“It’s going good,” she trailed off devilishly, leaving much to be desired.

“I’d say more than good.” I laughed, raising my brows at her giddy smile.

“He makes me laugh,” she said wistfully. “And there’s something about him that just feels like a real person. There are no weird pretenses or acts he’s trying to put on. He’s just him. He actually reminds me a lot of you in that way.”

“Maggie Brynn, are you telling me you’re in love with me?” I joked.

“You know you’re my number one, always.” She winked across the table.

Warmth spread through my chest. Sometimes, I tricked myself into thinking I was alone in the world. That if I didn’t have my mom, I’d be completely lost. But every time I saw Maggie, it was a reminder that maybe the world wasn’t as bleak as my mind sometimes convinced me it was.

“But I have to admit, I am getting a little jealous,” she started, smirking at me knowingly.

“Jealous of what?” I rolled my eyes playfully.

“I’m starting to worry that I’m not your favorite

Brynn anymore.” She feigned a pout.

I froze, staring at her wide-eyed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, there’s something going on between you and my brother, and you’re holding out on me with the details.”

“Nothing’s going on,” I said immediately.

“Bull,” she countered. “You sound like him.”

Oh my God, had she mentioned something to him? Did he think I had a big, stupid crush on him while I was living in his house?

“Maggie—”

“No.” She held a hand to stop me. “You can’t convince me that there’s nothing going on after I watched my brother flip the hell out the way he did last night.”

“It’s not like that.” I shook my head, flailing as I tried to deny it.

“Okay, then, how’s apartment hunting going?” She raised a brow, daring me to answer.

“I—” I paused. “I haven’t looked in a while.”

“Ha!” She slammed her hands down on the table. “And why not?”

Because I don’t want to leave him.

“I’ll tell you why,” she jumped in. “It’s because you looove him, too. Don’t you?”

I stared at her. She stared at me. And then I groaned, hiding my hands in my face as if I could make the world disappear around me.

“ I knew it! ” She giggled maniacally. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

“Please stop,” I begged, peeking out through my fingers. “It’s so humiliating. I feel like a fangirl with a big stupid crush.”

“ What? ” Her jaw dropped. “, no. He’s totally obsessed with you. I can tell.”

“I don’t know,” I said while my stomach fluttered at her words. “I mean, weren’t you the one telling me how he’s not into any of that stuff?”

“That’s why I can tell that this is different. I’ve never seen him act like this.”

“Why?” I asked the question I’d been holding back for too long.

“Honestly,” she said, “I think it has a lot to do with our dad. Liam would never admit it, but his leaving really screwed him up. It screwed us both up.”

I nodded, understanding all too well the trauma that a parent’s absence could inflict on a child.

“That’s why I thought he’d want to see him now. For closure, or healing, or whatever.” She shrugged. “But he still has that wall up.”

I didn’t tell her, but I understood where he was coming from. There were some things you couldn’t forgive, and if he didn’t want to, my support was fully behind him in that decision.

“What about you?” I asked, not wanting to touch whatever was going on with Liam and his father. It was none of my business. “How’s it going with you guys?”

“Really good,” she admitted with that smile that seemed glued to her face lately. “I think that’s partially why I’m doing so well with Brody. It’s stupid, but I feel like my dad being gone has sort of impacted every area of my life without me even realizing it. And now? I don’t know. I feel like everything is falling into place.”

I reached across the table to give her hand a squeeze. “I’m so happy for you, Maggie. Really, I am.”

“And I’m happy for you, ” Maggie said in turn.

“Me?” I laughed. “Why?”

“Because I have a feeling that Liam isn’t going to give his heart away more than once, which means you and I are going to be sisters!”

I choked on the coffee I’d been sipping, feeling it all the way in my nose.

“Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun a little bit?” I raised my brows at her in bewilderment.

“Not even a little,” she said and took a sip of her coffee like her words weren’t on the verge of sending me into cardiac arrest. “Just wait. You’ll see.”

I wasn’t going to hold my breath on that.