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Chapter Eighteen -

brODY: What the hell happened last night???? I left for two secs to grab another drink and when I got back you guys were gone????? ??????

I saw the text from Brody the second it came in while I stared at the screen, waiting for a text from Cassie. Surely, she’d need a ride home at some point, and I told her to call me when she was ready.

Whether or not she’d take me up on that was anyone’s guess. I was starting to realize just how stubborn she could be about things, which would be cute if it weren’t for the fact that she was making life harder for herself with these random hills she chose to die on.

I shook my head, sending an apology text to Brody before slipping the phone away. The volume was on. I’d hear the text when it came through. For now, there were plenty of other things I could do in the meantime.

My apartment was covered with traces of her just from the few days she’d been here. It made the space feel warmer somehow. Comfortable in a way that I hadn’t managed to make it on my own.

I smiled softly at the sight of her slippers by the couch, her blanket thrown over them, and a mug on the coffee table in front of them.

I noticed that she’d taken up residency in that particular spot whenever she had downtime, making it her own.

Now I sat there, taking note of the things she’d left behind. The coffee table had a few papers spread over it, with a pair of scissors abandoned beside the half-cut-out sheets of paper.

On them were cartoon images of stick figure people with big black phrases of things like SAFE HANDS, NO BITING, and QUIET VOICE.

“What the hell?” I murmured to myself, staring down in amusement at the pictures.

Was Cassie really going to work and getting bit by small children? And I thought my job was tough. At least none of the guys on another team ever sank their teeth into me.

I made breakfast and ate it. Washed the dishes and put them away. I checked my phone again because I was a sadist who couldn’t help it, finding no texts waiting for me. And by the time the clock turned 10 a.m., I was already out the door, driving to Maggie’s place.

I should’ve just texted her. I thought as I made my way up the staircase to Maggie’s apartment, feeling like a stalker.

In my head, I had justified it. I had even picked up two coffees for Cassie and Maggie, so I had a reason for stopping by other than the real reason: I wanted to put her in my car and take her home before she could use that ludicrous app again to get a ride from a total stranger.

I wasn’t going to force her to come with me. I was just there to offer a ride if she wanted it.

Which you could’ve done over text.

I shook the thought away. I was already right outside the door. Technically, I could turn around and drive home before Maggie gave me a ton of shit for how pathetic I was being, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave.

I knocked once, then stepped back, wondering why my heart was accelerating after knocking on the door of my fucking sister’s house.

There was the sound of shuffling behind the door and muffled feminine voices, and then the door opened.

“!” My mother beamed, her face jumping at once from shock to elation in seconds. “Maggie, your brother’s here!”

Shit.

How had I forgotten she was staying here?

“Hi, Mom,” I said, shuffling on my feet.

I hadn’t seen her in a few months, not because I was avoiding her per se, but just because it was never super convenient to get wrapped up in the attention that came with a visit from her.

“Well don’t just stand out there!” She gestured wildly toward the apartment. “Come in, come in!”

“?” Maggie walked out of the bathroom, her brown hair wet from the shower. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh—” I fumbled for a reasonable excuse.

“Well, he came to visit us, of course! And look, he brought us coffees!”

My mother reached for one of the cups in my hand, looking as if I’d just gifted her with her first grandchild.

“Why would he come visit? I saw him last night,” Maggie said, approaching us with confusion.

“You did?” My mother gasped. “My babies are spending time together,” she cooed, eyes getting teary at the thought. “It’s all I ever wanted!”

Jesus, I felt awkward. And stiff. And filled with an urgency to get out of there.

I craned my neck around, looking for Cassie, but came up short. Maybe she was still sleeping, though I doubted it. She was always up early at my place.

I opened my mouth to ask when my mother’s arms came around me, pulling me toward the couch.

“Sit, sit,” she ordered, pulling us both down.

Maggie took a spot in the armchair across the couch, and my eyes landed on the many boxes filling the living room with my mother’s essence.

Now, sitting beside me, she stared up at me in an expectant way that had me shifting in my seat.

I cleared my throat.

“So, how’s the renovations going?” I asked as my mother creepily smiled at me with wide, imploring eyes.

“Oh,” She sighed, smile fading. “Fine, I suppose. It’s about time, isn’t it? I couldn’t stand to live in a house your father designed for another minute.”

I stiffened. It wasn’t often that we spoke about my father, and to hear her mention him so casually set me more on edge than usual.

“Why not?” Maggie asked. “You have for the last fifteen years.”

“Why not just move?” I asked the question that had been on my mind since I first heard she was redoing the entire house.

“Why would I do that?” She asked. “The house is already paid off.”

“But you’re paying the price of a house to have the entire thing gutted and rebuilt.” I raised a brow.

My mother was never someone I fully understood, partially because she never really let me. She did things on a whim, making huge life choices in the blink of an eye, and I always felt a little unsettled having to ride along on the waves of her emotions.

“It is a big project, Mom.” Maggie sighed. “And a big house to live in by yourself. If I’m being honest, I think downsizing would’ve been a better idea.”

“Oh, if it were up to you two, you’d have me moving into a retirement home.” Mom laughed. “And besides, why shouldn’t I have a nice home to live in? You two will be thanking me for all the space I have when you want to drop off my grandkids for a weekend at grandma’s.”

Her eyes twinkled, and I coughed. Neither Maggie nor I was anywhere close to that stage of life yet, though apparently, my mother hadn’t gotten that memo.

“Anyway,” I said, hands braced on my thighs as I prepared to escape this awkward conversation. “I better get go—”

“I heard from Dad.” Maggie’s voice detonated the carefully constructed peace in the room. “I figured now’s a good time to tell you since we’re all here.”

I sucked in a breath, watching our mother carefully. Her face remained impossibly neutral, though I swore I saw it drop for just a second.

“Oh,” she said, and I wondered how many thoughts were running through her mind at once.

When the man she thought she was going to spend her life with walked out on all of us, she tried to hold it together. For us. But something had changed in her when he left, and it felt like we never really got her back. At least not all the way.

I glared at Maggie, pissed that she’d brought it up in front of Mom when she knew Mom couldn’t handle this conversation right now.

“What did he say?” Mom asked shakily, averting her eyes as she pulled at a thread on her sweatshirt.

“Not much. He asked how I was doing. About my life. He wants to meet up.” Her eyes landed on me. “And he wants to come.”

Fuck that.

A sentiment that I spoke out loud, causing Maggie to furrow her brows at me as if I was the offensive piece of shit rather than the guy who abandoned us.

“Why would you even want to see him, Mags?” I asked, standing up. “He left. He didn’t want anything to do with us for the last fifteen years. Even entertaining a phone call with him is more than he deserves.”

“!” Maggie jumped to her feet, though she was still several inches beneath me. “Why won’t you just give him a chance?”

“A chance to do what, Mags?” My voice rose. “Justify why he left and never looked back? Explain why he never bothered to call, or write, or show up for his children? There’s no excuse that’ll erase all that.”

“You’re right!” she yelled back. “Nothing’s going to erase what already happened, but maybe he wants to do better now.”

“We don’t need him!”

“,” my mother’s voice tried to soothe from the sidelines.

“You don’t need anyone ,” Maggie’s voice broke. “But what about me? What if I need someone?”

“Then good fucking luck to you because he’s never going to be what you want him to be. He’s already proven he can’t.”

“You don’t get it!” she screamed. “You weren’t the one crying yourself to sleep every night after he left.”

No, I wasn’t. Because she and my mom did enough of that for the three of us. Two people crying over that guy were two people too many. I wasn’t going to add to that list.

But the worst part was Mom and her waiting. Expecting him to come back. Fuck, I had a feeling she spent years thinking it was all just a mistake, and he’d come walking through the door any day with flowers and an apology.

It just settled the matter more firmly for me.

“Fuck that guy,” I told her. “You’re not that broken little kid anymore, and seeing him now isn’t going to fix her.”

Maggie’s eyes welled with tears, and I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.

“Maggie,” I said softly, wanting to reach out and fix everything I had just broken. But she held out a hand, stopping me in my tracks.

“Just because you’re angry at the world doesn’t mean I need to be. And if you won’t see him, fine. But I need this.”

I stared at her, determination blazing in her eyes. Then down to Mom, who looked suddenly so small and frail, not saying anything as the news of it all washed over her.

There she was, letting us duke it out like we always did. Dad left, and all of a sudden, she didn’t know how to parent. Couldn’t figure out the line of discipline between coming across too harsh or letting us off too easy, so she just… left us to do whatever we were going to do.

“I should go,” I said, not knowing what else to do, only knowing that they were both better off without me.

“Great idea,” Maggie said, following me toward the door.

I didn’t know why I couldn’t react to things like a normal fucking person. Or why my first instinct was to lash out and board myself up rather than try to listen to what Maggie was saying.

“And Cassie already left, by the way,” Maggie said, resentment burning in her eyes. “Because I know you sure as hell didn’t come here to see me.”

And then she slammed the door behind me, leaving me with the fear that I never allowed my thoughts to linger on for too long.

Maybe I was more like him than I ever wanted to be. More like him than I could live with being.