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Chapter Thirty-Five

F uck, I’d been about to tell her.

If Maggie hadn’t interrupted, I would’ve told her—hell, I don’t know what I would’ve said. Everything that was happening to me regarding that girl was so far beyond my control that it should’ve scared me.

But it didn’t.

The only thing that I was afraid of was the thought of messing it up and scaring her off. But how the hell was I supposed to function when every moment I was with her, I wanted to grab her in my arms and tell everyone who would listen that she was mine?

Would she leave me if I told her? Would she leave me if I didn’t?

And which of the two scenarios meant I got to keep her?

“What the hell are you doing?” Maggie slapped me back to reality with the hand that came down hard against my arm.

“What the hell are you doing?” I countered, looking down at her scowling face. “Why’d you hit me?”

“Because dumbass,” he retorted. “You were just way too close and personal with my best friend. What was that about?”

I paused. I couldn’t tell Maggie when I hadn’t even told Cassie.

“Everyone’s supposed to think we’re together,” I offered by way of explanation.

What did Maggie even see? It wasn’t like I pulled Cassie in for a kiss.

Though I wanted to.

“They already did think that without you staring at her like you’re in love with her or something!” Maggie threw her hands in the air. “I mean, what the hell was that about?”

“You’re yelling at me for looking at her?”

“No, I’m yelling at you because Cassie is way too fragile right now to have her head messed with by you.”

“I’m not messing with her head, Maggie. Jesus.”

Maggie narrowed her eyes on me, searching for something. I shifted on my feet as she watched me.

“You like her, don’t you?”

Deny. Deny. Deny.

“Of course I like her.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do! You’re wearing your lying face!”

“Okay, so what? I like her. A fucking lot. But I know it’ll never go anywhere. So we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Of course we do!” Maggie exclaimed. “, this is the first girl you’ve ever really liked, and it’s my best friend!”

“Not true,” I defended. “Jesus, Mags. I’ve had girlfriends before.”

“What? Those college flings that you got bored of after a week?”

“I didn’t get bored of them, Mags. God, you make me sound like a douche. I just—” I paused, unable to explain myself.

Didn’t feel a fucking thing for any of them.

But now? I felt everything. Way too fucking much.

“, she’s my best friend. You can’t have a fling or whatever it is you’re trying to do with her because it’ll just get too messy.”

“Jesus Christ, Mags. I never knew you thought I was such an asshole.”

“I don’t.” Maggie sighed, running a hand over her face. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried about her. She has a lot going on.”

I know that.

“She can be… vulnerable. She’s a relationship girl, and you’ve never been able to offer that to anyone, so I think it’s only fair that you admit that to her upfront. I mean, this is already so complicated. She’s living with you.”

“I know that, Maggie. You’re the one who made that happen,” I said defensively.

But I’m the one making her stay.

“I know.” She sighed defeatedly. “I’m just so scared for her to fall for someone who’s not serious about her again. You don’t know what it was like watching that for six years. And they’ve only been broken up a month...”

Shit. She was right. Cassie wasn’t in any place to start something new. I needed to get a fucking grip on myself and learn how to be there for her as a friend.

Suppose that meant never telling her how I felt, fine. But I sure as hell wouldn’t stand by and let her go back to Dave the Dick.

“Don’t worry, Mags,” I lied through my teeth. “There’s nothing going on.”

She stared at me, her green eyes a mirror of my own.

“I don’t know what’s happening to you,” she said hesitantly. “But you’re different with her.”

I clenched my jaw. I couldn’t deny it. It would be way too fucking obvious if I even tried.

“Just promise me you’re not going to hurt her,” Maggie said imploringly.

Easiest fucking promise of my life. “I swear.”

She nodded, content with my answer, and then sighed again, looking off to where Brody was laughing with a group of the guys.

“You know,” I said, trying to lighten the moment. “ I didn’t give you a hard time when you decided to go out with my friend.”

Maggie rolled her eyes.

“Do you like him, Mags?” I asked. “For real?”

She stared at me. “ I do.”

“Is that not… good?” I asked, trying to figure out why her admission sounded so sad.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It’s probably not good for him.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’ve never figured out how to not hurt people I love,” she admitted softly. “I get so scared of them hurting me that I think I try to ruin it before it can get that far.”

“Brody would never hurt you, Mags.” I shook my head. “ He pursued you. He was a pain in the ass about it, too.”

She stared at me, eyes ablaze.

“Dad pursued Mom. But he still left, didn’t he?”

And then she walked off, leaving me with the trauma that we both carried around like a plague inside of us.

“Dude.” Ryan Dawson laughed. “I had some woman tell me she was going to bid, like, a thousand dollars on a date with me.”

“A thousand?” Shane West snorted. “These are some of the richest women in the city. I wouldn’t go bragging about that number if I were you.”

I craned my neck, looking around a room that was filled with way too many fucking people, and unable to spot the one I was looking for.

Tuning out the rest of their back-and-forth argument, I scanned the crowd for Cassie. It had been a few minutes and she hadn’t come back yet, and honestly, I was starting to get worried.

I grabbed a glass of water from the table, downing the liquid. Brody sat next to me, laughing in turn with the rest of the guys.

“Hey,” I said, nudging him. “You haven’t seen Cassie around you, have you?”

“You lost your girl?” Brody asked, glancing around the room.

I clenched my jaw, fingers twitching at my side.

How the hell was I going to explain that I was worried she left the room for a few minutes to make a phone call? It sounded insane.

But by now, it had been more than a few minutes, and something in my gut didn’t feel right. Cassie looked nervous when Maggie came over with the phone, and Maggie seemed like she knew more than she let on.

“Never mind,” I said, standing to go find her.

I just wanted to see her. Once I had my eye on her, I’d relax.

I got up, anxious to move. I’d only made it a few feet into the crowd before someone appeared in front of me.

“Where are you off to, handsome?” The voice was sultry and low, belonging to a woman probably close to my age, give or take a few years.

“Looking for my date.”

“Your date?” she asked, tugging on my tie. “Not a very good one if she left you all on your own.”

The woman made an expression between a smirk and a pouty face, and honestly, I didn’t have the time or headspace to think of a response. I cleared my throat and tried to walk past her.

“Do you want to dance?” she asked,

“I’m here with my girlfriend,” I responded, voice thick with agitation.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maggie and didn’t bother to stick around to hear the woman’s inevitable rebuttal.

“Maggie!” I called out, jogging over before I could lose her to the crowd.

She spun, gnawing on her bottom lip when she saw me.

“Mags, have you seen Cassie?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah,” she said, way too fucking shadily for my liking. “I talked to her a few minutes ago.”

“And?” I asked, raising a brow.

“She, um, had to leave.”

“She left ?” My heart dropped. “Why? Where did she go?”

“Don’t freak out. She had something to do. She wanted me to tell you she’s so, so sorry, but she’ll see you at home later.”

“I drove her here. How the hell did she leave?”

“She Ubered.”

She has to stop fucking doing that.

I ran a hand over my face, weary beyond all hell. “Where’d she go?”

“It’s not my business to talk about.”

“Does this have to do with Dave?”

“What?” Maggie looked affronted. “No!”

“Jesus Christ, Maggie. Just tell me where she is,” I said, hearing the sound of desperation in my voice.

“She’s at the hospital,” she blurted out.

“ What? ”

“Don’t worry,” Maggie said in a rush. “She’s fine. She’s okay. She didn’t even want me to tell you. She made me promise I wouldn’t.”

Every nerve in my body ignited in alarm. “Why the fuck is she at the hospital?”

“She doesn’t like to talk about it…” Maggie said uneasily.

“What hospital is she at?” I demanded, ready to already be moving in her direction.

“Don’t go there, .” Maggie shook her head. “She wouldn’t want you there.”

“What fucking hospital is she at, Maggie?”

Maggie bit her lip, her resolve wavering.

“Maggie, please, ” I begged.

“St. Anne’s, but , I’m serious. Don’t go there. She won’t want you there—“

I was gone before she could finish the sentence.