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Chapter Forty-One

I ’ d never been much of a fan of hospitals. For me, every time I’d been there was for some hockey injury I’d gotten growing up, which, at the time, always served to remind me that one bad injury could put me out of the game forever.

But watching Cassie walk into the hospital to go pick up her mom reminded me just how lucky I’d had it. I hadn’t dealt with any serious injuries or diseases. The most I’d gotten in my life was a broken bone.

But Cassie? I’d gotten the feeling she’d been through this all before. And it put things into perspective about how good I’d had it without ever knowing.

My eyes were glued on the door the entire time since Cassie went in. She had insisted that I wait in the car, and though I wanted to be with her every step of the way, I couldn’t begrudge her that request. Not when she’d already let me drive her here.

When they came out together, I stilled. Her mother looked shockingly like Cassie, same blue eyes, same blond hair—but the resemblance only served to make the differences all the more jarring.

Cassie’s mother looked weathered in a way that had nothing to do with age. Her face was hollow, her body gaunt. Her skin had a jaundice to it that was painful to look at. One look at this woman, and it was obvious that she’d spent years fighting a battle against her own body.

It was difficult to see her and not imagine how much it pained Cassie every time she looked at her mother. I couldn’t imagine looking at my mother and knowing that everything that was wrong with her was her own doing.

They approached the car, and I panicked. Did I get out of the car to help them? Did I stay in so it didn’t look like I thought they needed my help?

Shit, I didn’t know what to do. I’d never met a girl’s parents before. Especially not under circumstances like these.

After a moment’s hesitation, I unbuckled my seatbelt, choosing to lean against the car as they approached.

“Hi,” I said, feeling awkward as hell when I didn’t know how to address her.

Cassie’s mom paused in her tracks, looking at me warily and then at Cassie with furrowed brows.

“You didn’t tell me you had a friend here,” she said, almost accusingly.

“This is ,” Cassie said, looking every bit as wary as her mother looked. “He offered to drive us.”

“No Dave?” she asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it now,” Cassie said, climbing into the front passenger seat.

“Nice to meet you.” I looked her mom in the eyes, noticing the yellow tint to her skin and the wrinkles that framed her eyes as I pulled the backdoor open.

“You, too.” She offered me an uneasy smile before getting into the back, looking around as if she were a mouse caught in a trap.

I started the car, following suit with the silence. I decided to let the two of them set the scene for how the ride would go. I was so out of my element that it wasn’t even funny.

“Are you still staying with Dave?” her mother asked after a moment, and Cassie tensed.

“No,” she said in a way that left little room for questions.

Still, Cassie’s mom persisted.

“Does that mean you’re coming home then?”

I twitched. No, the hell she wasn’t.

She was already home. With me.

She hesitated. “I don’t know yet.”

My heart sank.

Cassie’s hands moved against the radio dials, frantically switching the stations at a rapid speed.

Without thinking, I reached over, sliding my hand over hers. Gently, I guided her fingers away from the dial, back to her knee, and left my hand resting there on top of hers.

It’s okay, baby. You’re fine.

She turned her attention out the window, but her knee had stopped jittering at least.

“How are you feeling?” Cassie asked, voice thick.

She didn’t turn to look at her mother when she asked, just continued staring off at some distant point.

“Oh, I’m fine,” her mom answered back. “I’m glad to be out of there. You know hospitals, making such a fuss over nothing.”

Cassie stiffened, and I used my thumb to rub circles on top of her hand.

“I was thinking,” Cassie started, “that we could talk about some of the rehab programs. I’ve been researching and found a few good ones—”

“What?” Her mom laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Cassie. I was in the hospital with a stomach bug.”

I paused at that, confused by her words. I looked over to Cassie for confirmation, and she was wearing an expression of absolute outrage.

I’d seen Cassie in a lot of moods. Happy, sad, excited. But never angry. I wished I could smooth the expression off her face.

“Mom,” she said in warning. “Stop.”

“Oh, don’t start, Cassie.”

“Haven’t we gone through this enough?” Cassie asked wearily. “You need to get help.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Her mom huffed. “I’m fine.”

“That’s what you always say, but you’re only getting worse.” Cassie sounded so broken and lost.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I was sick, now I’m better. They wouldn’t have let me go if I wasn’t,” her mom said, sounding pretty damn sure of herself.

“But—”

“You know, honey,” her mom said swiftly, “I’m really glad you have a new boyfriend. This one is very handsome,” she said, holding a hand up conspiratorially as if she could block me from hearing.

“I—” Cassie fumbled. “Mom—”

“You know, her last one,” Cassie’s mom said to me, and I caught her eye in the mirror, “dated her for years and wouldn’t propose. Aren’t you sorry you wasted all that time now, honey? Just like I told you.”

“This isn’t about me.” Cassie was getting flustered.

I didn’t know what to do. My mind was whirling at the turn the conversation was taking.

“And she’s so bright, but she’s stuck in that little job of hers. I keep telling her she needs to go back to school, find something better.”

“I like my job, Mom,” Cassie said defensively, every part of her voice tight with tension.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Her mom shook her head with a smile. “You’ll never be able to support yourself on a teacher’s salary.”

“She doesn’t have to worry about that,” I interjected, hating the way Cassie’s entire being was deflating right before my eyes. “We do okay.”

“Still, I don’t want her to end up alone and poor,” her mom said. “If she couldn’t get the last one to commit—”

“Mom,” Cassie’s voice rang through the car. “Would you give it a rest? Just stop.”

“You’re so defensive.” Her mom frowned. “I’m just trying to help you, sweetheart.”

“I’m twenty-four years old. I make my own decisions,” Cassie countered. “I’m so sick of you coming at me because you’re embarrassed of your own life.”

“I’m embarrassing you?” her mom countered angrily. “You’re the one making a scene in front of a stranger!”

I tried to interject, to assure her she didn’t have to be embarrassed in front of me, but Cassie was fuming, her voice rising to an octave I’d never heard.

“He’s not a stranger. He’s . He’s my—” Cassie paused. “Stop derailing the conversation. You need to get help. I can’t keep living like this over and over again. Worrying about you every second of the day. It’s killing me.” Cassie’s voice was pure agony, and I gripped her hand tightly as something inside of me broke.

“You’d think you’d be a little nicer to me. I did just get out of the hospital, you know.”

“How do you turn everything around on me every time?” Cassie laughed sardonically. “I’m concerned, mom. I’m scared for you. You’re going to die if you don’t stop drinking. The doctors told me that three hospitalizations ago. You will die. ”

Cassie’s mom fumed silently, turning her chin up and out the window. It was as if she put a wall up to shut Cassie out entirely.

“I never knew I was such a burden to you,” she said, voice flat and emotionless.

“Mom, I—” Cassie started but then stopped.

I pulled my car up to the address that Cassie had put into the GPS and turned the car off to show Cassie I wasn’t rushing her. She could take her time. Go help her mom settle in.

But the second we pulled up, her mom was already opening the door, as if she didn’t want to linger a second more than necessary.

Cassie opened her door, too, but her mom held up a hand to stop her.

“Stay in the car, Cassie,” she said firmly. “And don’t worry. Next time I need help, I’ll make sure not to bother you.”

And then she was gone.

Cassie heaved a shaky sigh, shutting the door with a reluctant thud.

I watched Cassie as she stared out the window, trembling as she tried to keep herself together as the small figure of her mom walked up the pathway to the tiny, dark house.

Her mom fumbled with the keys, hands unsteady. It took her a few tries, but eventually, the door creaked open, and she slipped inside without a single glance back.

When the door shut, Cassie dropped her head into her hands and cried, defeat evident in the slump of her shoulders that shook with emotion.

“Cassie,” I said softly, wanting so badly to pick her up and take her in my arms. To fix everything for her. But I knew that there was nothing I could do. Nothing Cassie could do.

“She’s not going to stop.” Cassie sobbed. “She might as well be going in there to die all alone.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know what anyone could say, so I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over for her, pulling her against my shoulder.

“What do you need, Cassie?”

“I want to go,” she said, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

“Go where?” I asked.

“Back ho—” She paused abruptly. “Back to your house.”

I didn’t flinch at the way she refused to acknowledge that somewhere along the last two months, it had become her home too. There were bigger things to worry about.

Instead, I took her hand and brought it over to my lap, taking hold of the wheel to take her far away from the pain of the night.

“Okay,” I whispered. “Let’s go home.”