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CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

ELLIOT

M uffled laughter and the smell of coffee pull me gently from sleep, and I peel open my eyes to my still-dim bedroom.

A glance at the clock on my nightstand tells me it’s just after nine, and there’s light filtering in the side of my blinds, which means I’ve been asleep for almost twenty-four hours.

That’s how it goes sometimes when I go dark.

Like my brain is trying to protect itself in the only way it can.

I’m alone in bed, but there’s a glass of water on my nightstand next to a Post-it with the initials AS + EW scrawled inside a pink heart.

My heart squeezes at the gesture, and at the memory of the way Amelia cared for me yesterday.

The way she never let go of me. The feel of her arms around me every time I surfaced from my deep-depression sleep made me feel safe enough to go back under, knowing she was there.

I’ve never had someone take care of me the way she did, and I didn’t think it was possible, but I fall just a little harder, as if there is no bottom to my feelings for her.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I take stock. As the unmistakable sound of Amelia’s laughter drifts through my closed bedroom door, I realize I feel lighter than I ever have before after waking up from a depressive episode. Clearer. Unburdened, almost.

I stand and walk to the bathroom, stretching out my stiff muscles as I stick my toothbrush in my mouth and flip on the shower. When it’s hot, I duck under the spray, taking the fastest shower of my life, wanting to find my girl and get my arms around her as soon as possible.

When I walk out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist, Amelia is sitting on my bed, coffee mug in hand and a smile on her face.

“Hot damn, you look good in a towel,” she says by way of greeting.

She stands, setting the mug on my nightstand and reaching up to push my damp hair off my forehead, then leaning in and brushing her lips against mine.

I wind my free arm around her waist and keep her close, taking her mouth in a deeper, more satisfying kiss.

When we break apart, she studies me and nods, like she approves of what she sees. “You look better.”

I smile, leaning in to kiss her neck. “I feel better. A little shaky still, but definitely better. Thank you,” I say quietly, clearing my throat against the sudden onslaught of emotion. “For taking care of me. Being with me all night. For not leaving.”

Amelia cups my face in both of her hands, eyes steady on mine. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I love you means I love every damn part of you. Including this one.”

I take a deep breath, and when I exhale, it feels like I’m letting go of a weight that’s been sitting on my shoulders since I was a college student lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, wondering why my brain was betraying me.

“I love you too. Those words don’t feel like enough to explain how I feel about you, but it’s all I’ve got. ”

She smiles, brushing her fingers down my jaw. “It’s perfect. Although, hold onto that feeling because I have something to tell you, and I’m not sure if you’re going to like it.”

I narrow my eyes at her, mostly because that’s what she expects me to do. “What did you do?”

She shrugs. “I invited your brothers and Jo over. Hannah, too, but apparently, she left for Pittsburgh yesterday to visit her boyfriend. Noah’s been grumbling about it for an hour.

I didn’t tell them about you going dark—you’re the only one who gets to decide when you’re ready to do that.

But I did tell them about the dean and him threatening your job.

I thought you could use a Wyles brothers sized dose of righteous indignation on your behalf. And also breakfast. Jordan’s cooking.”

“Fuck yes, I’m starving,” I mumble, wrapping my arms back around Amelia’s waist and nuzzling my face into her neck, making her giggle. “I’m glad you called my brothers.”

“You are?” she asks.

“I am,” I say, leaning back to look at her. “I want them to know what’s going on.” I pause for a beat. “All of it.”

“You sure?” she asks.

I nod. “It’s time. And when you’re with me, I kind of feel like I can do anything.”

She smiles, pressing a kiss to my jaw. “I’ll always be with you.”

I start to turn my head to kiss her for real when something occurs to me. I put my hands on her shoulder, gently pushing her back so I can look at her. “Hang on. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“My job is on the line, but your position in the program is too. And he can out you to everyone. Who you are, your app, everything.”

Amelia just shrugs and smiles. “I’m dropping out of the program.”

“Wait, what?”

“I talked to Gabe yesterday while you were sleeping and told him everything. The program, the app, quitting my job—although he already knew about that part because he’s all-knowing, apparently.

This program isn’t my dream. I loved creating Genesis, and I want to do more of that.

I want to take the seat on the board of Gabe’s women in STEM non-profit that I’ve been refusing for the last two years because, nepotism or whatever.

I want to do so many other things in the tech world I haven’t even thought of yet, and none of them involve being in a classroom.

Gabe’s my brother. I can’t avoid that, and I don’t want to.

Not anymore. I don’t want what other people may or may not think to hold me back from doing the things I love.

The only people whose opinions I care about are the people who are related to me and the people in this apartment right now.

And your parents, too, and Cece because I love them.

Everyone else can fuck right off.” She grins and shrugs, happiness and satisfaction radiating out of her.

So in love with her, I wonder how feelings this big are survivable.

I lean in and kiss her, pouring everything I feel into it.

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” I murmur against her lips.

“You’re amazing. You amaze me, Mystery Girl.

You’re going to do so many awesome things, and I can’t wait to see them all. ”

She smiles, winding her arms around my waist. “I definitely am.”

I open my mouth to say something else, but before I can, the door to my room flies open, revealing Jordan, a spatula in his hand and a smirk on his face.

“Jesus, Jord, ever heard of privacy?” I grumble.

“I sure haven’t. After all the times you walked yourself right into my apartment without knocking, we can just call this a little sweet revenge. Kiss your girl later and put some clothes on. Breakfast is ready.”

Amelia grins at me and pulls away, pinching my ass as she goes. “I’ll save you the best waffle and a seat next to me.”

I reach out and snag her hand before she can leave the room, spinning her back to me and covering her mouth with mine.

With an arm around her waist and my hand on her cheek, I slide my tongue along her bottom lip, diving in when she opens for me, my tongue twining with hers in a sensual dance that has my heart pounding and my head spinning.

And when Amelia licks along my bottom lip then sucks it into her mouth, I groan, wondering if I can just kick everyone out and spend the rest of the day in bed with her.

“You can’t kick them out, El,” she whispers, reading my mind. “But if you get dressed like a good boy and come eat breakfast with your brothers, we can do anything you want later.”

“Anything?” I ask, a little breathlessly.

She grins wickedly and spins away from me, heading for the door. “Literally anything,” she says, before she closes the door behind her, leaving me with an inconvenient hard on and a vow to get breakfast over with as soon as humanly possible.