Page 5

CHAPTER TWO

AMELIA

“ I ’m never eating again,” my sister Olivia groans, flopping on the couch next to me and tossing an arm dramatically over her eyes.

“I think it was the third piece of pie that put me over the edge.” My sister-in-law, Molly, takes the seat on my other side and kicks her rainbow-sock clad feet up on the coffee table.

“That’s weak-sauce, Mol,” I say. “You definitely could have gone for a fourth. You didn’t even try the apple, and that’s the one Gabe was most proud of. He did that crust design and everything.”

I sink deeper into the couch, feeling a warm glow at having all my favorite people in the same place at the same time.

Ever since my parents died when I was a teenager, the holidays have mostly felt like something to get through.

But when my older brother, Gabe, got back together with Molly, his college girlfriend and first love, a few years ago after a decade apart, for the first time in years Christmas felt a little less like something to endure and more like something I could maybe, kind of, learn how to celebrate.

Sitting here in the living room of their happy house as the holiday comes to a close, with the massive Christmas tree glowing in the corner and the detritus of a Christmas day well spent scattered everywhere, I feel happy and settled.

Or, at least, as happy and settled as I can be when my brain is swimming with details of the current state of my life.

Details I haven’t shared with my family.

Molly sighs heavily. “I totally could have, and Gabe’s puppy dog face almost had me giving in, but I have plans for your brother tonight and they don’t involve a food coma and a sugar crash. Tradeoffs must be made.”

“Please tell me you’re not talking about sexy plans,” Olivia says, lifting her arm from her eyes and turning her head towards us. “What did I tell you about talking about sex and my brother in the same sentence?”

Molly rolls her eyes. “We’re sisters, Liv. Sisters share sexy stuff. Especially very, very good sexy stuff.” She gives us a wicked grin and hooks her arm though mine.

“So, what you’re saying is, wear earplugs tonight,” I deadpan.

Molly grins at me. “Bet your gorgeous ass, Ames.”

I can’t help but grin back. Molly is pure, chaotic sunshine, and I absolutely love her to pieces.

“Where is Gabe anyway?” Olivia asks, glancing around like my brother might materialize out of thin air.

“He wanted to do bathtime tonight. He bought this little light thing that plays music and projects dinosaurs onto the walls and ceiling, so he’s throwing Soph a little bathtime rave.

But, like, nerd edition.” The love on her face when she talks about my brother and their seven-month-old daughter is unmistakable.

I feel a little tug, the ever-present complex web of being thrilled for Gabe and Molly and the life they’re making together, while also wondering what space I’m meant to occupy in this reconfigured family of ours.

Gabe and Molly, the soulmates. Olivia, the baby of the family who Gabe basically raised from the time she was eight.

And me, the middle child. Twelve when our parents died—too old to need the kind of parenting Olivia did, but old enough to understand Gabe was in over his head, and what I could do to help was make sure I didn’t need much help at all.

Fourteen years later and it’s me. Hi. The original don’t worry about me; I’ve got it handled; I don’t need anything from anyone, girl.

Christmas held all these feelings at bay, but as the holiday ebbs away, they come roaring back with enough force to have me shooting up from the couch, needing to move.

“You okay, Ames?” Olivia asks.

I nod, making a show of stretching out my back. “I’ll go see if Gabe needs a hand.”

Molly waves that away. “He’s fine. You know how he gets when he’s in full blown dad mode. He lives for this. You can relax. Now that you mentioned it, I can’t stop thinking about that fourth piece of pie. I think I’m winding up for second dessert.”

“Fuck. Yes.” Liv sits up, I’m never eating again forgotten completely. “That sounds perfect.”

I consider that because it actually does sound amazing. “I could do second dessert. I’ll peek in on Soph and help Gabe get her down, then we can do second dessert right here, because I’m pretty sure we’re all going to need to lay on the floor afterwards.”

Molly grins and points to me. “You’re the smart girl.”

“Don’t you have a genius IQ?”

She shrugs. “I mean, yeah, but so do you, and you’re the chief software engineer for one of the most famous tech companies in the world, so takes one to know one, girlie pop.”

At the mention of the job that my entire family thinks I still have but that I do not, in fact, have anymore, I give a short nod and hightail it directly out of the living room and up the stairs before I have to answer any uncomfortable questions I’m definitely not ready for. Not now. Maybe not ever.

It’s not like my family ever needs to know what I actually do for a living, right?

Ugh. I might be so screwed.

“Soph, did you know that dinosaurs roamed the earth for more than one hundred sixty-five million years? That’s crazy when you think about it because modern humans have only been around for, like, three hundred thousand years. That’s nothing compared to the dinosaurs.”

I smile at my brother’s deep voice and Sophie’s answering babble.

“Isn’t she a little young for dinosaur facts?

” I ask, leaning against the bathroom door, my heart melting into goo at the sight of my brother, billionaire tech genius, inventor of the Redwood smartphone, the most famous electronic device in human history, owned by sixty percent of smartphone users in the world, sitting on his knees on the bathroom floor with his sleeves pushed haphazardly up to his elbows, spouting dinosaur facts to his seven-month-old daughter as she splashes in the bathtub and a tiny projector displays multicolored dinosaurs onto the wall.

He grins up at me. “It’s never too early to start learning weird facts about human history.”

“Spoken like a true nerd.”

“Bet your ass, Ames. Takes one to know one.”

I crouch down next to him, running a hand over Sophie’s wet curls. “What do you think, baby girl? You going to nerd out like your dad and me? Your mom’s no slouch in the brains department either.”

“She sure isn’t,” Gabe says, his eyes going soft like they do every time he thinks about Molly, which is pretty much always.

I don’t think anyone has ever loved anyone the way Gabe loves his wife.

Even during the decade they were apart, there has never been anyone for him but her.

No one deserves this kind of happy ending more than Gabe does, but it’s almost like the happier he gets, the more disconnected from him I feel.

It makes no sense at all, and yet, there it is.

Almost like she knows where my thoughts are about to go, Sophie reaches a chubby hand up and pats my face, grinning at me with her two little teeth visible and blue eyes sparkling. She looks exactly like a tiny Molly.

I lean to the side and bump Gabe’s shoulder with mine. “There’s been some talk downstairs about second dessert. You in?”

Gabe laughs, leaning his shoulder against mine. “Molly was feeling bad about not trying the apple, wasn’t she?”

I soak in the comfort of my brother’s warm weight against my side. “She mentioned something about your puppy dog face.”

He smiles. “Gets her every time. Come on, baby girl, let’s get you ready for bed.”

I reach up and grab the towel Gabe has sitting on the bathroom counter and hold it up while he lifts Sophie out of the bath. Wrapping her up, he plucks her out of my arms and carries her into her bedroom, dimming the lights and laying her down on her changing table for a diaper and pajamas.

I lean against the wall, watching Gabe get his daughter ready for bed, a bubble of emotion in my chest. “I’m really glad you’re here, Ames.”

Gabe’s simple statement surprises me, like he can see my turmoil of emotions without even looking. “Me too, Gabe. You have a really beautiful life here.”

Gabe turns and looks at me, one hand on Sophie’s tummy to keep her from rolling off the changing table. “This is your home, too, you know. Wherever I am, there’s always a place for you and Liv.”

I just barely resist rubbing a hand over my heart where my chest aches. It’s like he looked directly into my brain and told me the thing that would hit the hardest. Because what kind of person with a brother this amazing would question where she fits into his life?

“Thanks, Gabey.”

He winces. “I hate that nickname.”

I snicker because I know.

He zips Sophie’s footie pajamas and lifts her up, turning to face me with her in his arms. “Are you sure you can’t stay through New Year’s?

Liv isn’t going back to DC until January third, and I’d love for you to stay too.

There’s no way GenTech won’t be a ghost town this week.

I’m sure you could work from here. Do you want me to make a call?

I know like half of the GenTech board of directors, and most of them owe me favors. ”

“No!” I say, a little too sharply, because the only thing worse than my famous billionaire former tech CEO brother calling one of my bosses like I’m still in middle school is him calling and realizing that my bosses aren’t my bosses anymore because I quit my job at GenTech six months ago and haven’t told him. Or anyone else.

“You okay, Ames?” Gabe asks, his face a mask of concern.

Tell him , my brain yells at me. You’re being ridiculous .

But as much as a big part of me knows keeping my resignation and my current job situation to myself is stupid, another, bigger, part of me knows that the second I come clean, it won’t be mine anymore.

And I want what I’m doing now to belong to me and only to me.

Not to Amelia Sullivan, little sister to the famous guy who invented the phone in everyone’s pocket. Just to Amelia.

“I’m fine. I swear,” I add when Gabe quirks a brow skeptically. “I have a project I’m working on, and I want to take advantage of the quiet between Christmas and New Year’s to finish it.” Okay, that sounds reasonable. Not exactly a lie, just not the whole truth.

Gabe heaves a sigh and drops down into the recliner, settling a sleepy looking Sophie against his chest. She rubs her eyes with her tiny fists and nuzzles her head against him, and I almost die from cuteness.

“Fine, but you better come back soon. Boston isn’t that far.

I don’t like when you stay away for so long. ”

“I promise, Dad.”

He groans. “I hate when you call me that, too. It’s weird. I’m not your dad.”

I walk over and lean down, kissing his cheek and then Sophie’s soft curls. “You’re not my dad but you are someone’s dad, and Gabe, it looks good on you.”

“Thanks, Ames.” He glances down at Soph as he rocks slowly. “She’ll be out in a couple minutes. Get the pie ready; now all I can think about is second dessert.”

“Done and done.”

Fifteen minutes later, the four of us are sprawled on the living room floor under the glow of the Christmas tree, surrounded by six different pies and a pile of forks.

Per our family tradition started during Molly’s first Christmas with us, second dessert gets eaten right out of the pie plates.

“I don’t know what possessed you to make six pies, but whatever it is, I’m so here for it. ”

Molly holds her hands up when I glance at her. “Don’t look at me. I suck in the kitchen. This is all your brother. Ladies, find yourself a man who cooks and bakes. You’ll never be sorry you held out for that kind of perfection.”

Gabe snakes an arm around Molly’s waist and tugs her until she’s between his legs, settled back against his chest. He kisses her cheek then reaches around her to dig his fork into the apple pie she’s holding. “I really did outdo myself, didn’t I?”

Molly laughs and elbows him, leaning her head back on his shoulder. “No one answer that. His ego doesn’t need any more stroking.”

“Every part of me needs stroking by you, Rory baby,” Gabe murmurs into her ear, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“No,” Olivia and I say in unison. I point to them and put on a disgusted face even though I low-key love Gabe’s old nickname for Molly.

But still. “Be gross on your own time. I’ll even keep the baby monitor in my room so you can be gross all night uninterrupted, as long as I don’t have to see it now. Or hear it.”

“Sold.” Molly grins at me. “Now. Girl talk. We didn’t have any time for it today. Give me all the gossip, ladies. Who’s doing things they’re not supposed to do? Who’s dating someone? Tell me everything.”

I’m glad Liv starts talking first because my stomach is currently lodged in my throat. I take a long sip from the mug of Diet Pepsi in front of me to try and clear it. Even though I’m not doing anything wrong, exactly, not telling my family doesn’t feel right either.

And as for the dating thing, well, I’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, to shove that particular dumpster fire out of my head for months.

The one where the funny, smart, and very, very hot stranger I sat next to on a plane six months ago and felt all the feelings for despite only knowing him for, like, six hours, turned out to be the professor I was preparing to beg to be my PhD research advisor when school starts in a couple weeks.

I mean, what are the fucking chances, right?

But I can’t exactly tell Molly because she doesn’t know that instead of working at the very important job they all think I have, I’m jumping with two feet into app development and am two weeks away from starting a PhD program in computer science and taking a different path entirely.

My life is a damn house of cards. One soft breeze and the whole thing will come tumbling down.

And yet, even though I don’t love the secrecy of it all, I get a little thrill every time I think about doing the thing.

A thrill that makes me believe down to the very depths of me that this is my path.

The one I’m going to forge all on my own, without my brilliant, famous brother’s input or any of his connections.

This part of my life belongs to me and me alone.

And if I have to keep some secrets and potentially run into hot, mystery plane guy turned professor to do the things, then so be it.

Amelia Sullivan has a life to lead.