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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

AMELIA

Jo

Okay, so the thing is, I tried to stop them all from coming up to Elliot’s apartment last night. I swear I did. I even bribed Jordan with really dirty sexual favors to stay home.

They wouldn’t be deterred though. It’s like they knew you guys needed privacy, so they were even more determined not to give it to you. It’s a brother thing.

Me

It was totally fine, seriously. And it was worth it for the five-pound bag of Fireballs you brought up.

Jo

The best, right?

Me

I don’t think I’ve had a Fireball since I was a kid. I forgot they’re amazing.

And they paired oddly well with the Oreo, gummy bear, Cinnamon Toast Crunch combo we had going. It shouldn’t have worked, but for some reason it did.

Jo

Because it was post-sex snacks. Post-sex snack time is the best.

Me

Why is that so true?

Jo

If Elliot is anything like Jordan, it’s because sex burns more calories than running a marathon.

Also, hi. I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but you’ve probably already guessed that I have no filter but I already adore you and I think we’re going to be excellent friends so...hi friend, I’m just over here letting it all hang out.

Me

Honestly, I love it so much. Making friends has always been…kind of hard for me.

Jo

Girl, same. I’ve mostly always been the dinosaur loving weird girl, and no one knows what to do with that.

Me

I’m the computer nerd who has never been able to figure out whether people want to be my friend for me or because my brother is a famous billionaire who invented the phone in their pocket, so I mostly just stopped trying.

Jo

Well, for what it’s worth, I liked you immediately and before I knew who your brother was.

Me

Thanks for that.

Jo

Always. Thanks for finding Elliot so you could come save me from all of these men. They’re amazing, but Jesus, sometimes a girl just needs some girlfriends, you know?

Me

It must be hard, being so far away from your sisters.

Jo

It is, but I love it here so much, and here is where Jordan is, so it’s the best place.

Also, don’t think I didn’t notice you glossed right over my subtle probing for sex details.

Me

So many calories. All the calories really.

Jo

Fuck, I knew it. El’s got the whole “I’ve got this handled” vibe about him. I bet it translates really well to naked time.

Me

Can confirm.

Jo

Well, I just love that for you. And also for me, because I’m a slut for gossip. And then there’s the whole professor/student forbidden vibe about it all. So hot.

Me

I’ll let you know if I still think so when I have to sit in his classroom tomorrow and listen to him lecture about mobile app design while I pretend I don’t know what he looks like naked.

Shit, sorry, that might have been too much.

Jo

Bestie, there is no such thing.

Jo

Anyway, the reason I’m texting, aside from the fact that I already love you and you’re absolutely going to be my new best friend, is because I’m going to Jordan’s mom’s house next week for book club.

At least one of my sisters will video call in, and Jordan’s grandma may or may not be there.

She can be a little hard to pin down. You’ll understand when you meet her.

Me

Oh, I’ve already met Cece.

Jo

Stop it, when?

Me

I went to Elliot’s office a couple weeks ago to meet with him about some research, and she was there. With his dog.

Jo

Bahahahaha of course she was.

Okay well, you’ve been Ceceed, so you’re really part of the family now.

Me

I don’t know about that. I have no idea what Elliot and I are. It’s like one day old.

Jo

Amelia, that man has been obsessed with you since the hot second you met on the plane. Last night when we were over, I don’t think he let you out of his reach for more than thirty seconds for the entire night. Safe to say he’s a tiny bit obsessed.

Me

It’s complicated.

Jo

These things always are. If it’s right, it’s all just details.

Me

They’re pretty important details.

Jo

I know. Just take it one day at a time. Okay, I really have no fucking clue what I’m talking about because I’m super impatient and I’m terrible at one day at a time, but it seemed like a better thing to say than, fuck the details, everything will work itself out.

Me

I think you’re my new favorite person.

Jo

Same goes, new friend. Okay, so book club next Tuesday night? We always try for a Tuesday because Tuesday is, objectively, the worst day of the week. Nothing fun ever happens on a Tuesday.

Me

I’m in.

Jo

YAY. I’m adding you to the group chat so stay tuned. I’ll text you everyone’s contact so you know who’s who.

Just one question—do you want me to keep your last name a secret? I mean the guys all know, obviously, but I don’t think anyone has told Pam or Cece.

Me

No, it’s not necessary. It was stupid to want to keep it a secret in the first place.

Jo

It really wasn’t. It can’t be easy trying to find your own place in the tech world when your brother looms so large. But for what it’s worth, you’re already amazing all on your own.

Me

Thanks for that. I really appreciate it.

Anyway, Cece already knows.

Jo

I bet you didn’t even have to tell her.

Me

Nope. I’ve only met her once, very briefly, but I think she might be magic.

Jo

Oh, she’s definitely magic.

And I promise Pam isn’t going to give one single shit who your brother is. If you make one of her sons happy, she already loves you.

Me

Oh, fuck. It just occurred to me that means I’ll be meeting Elliot’s mom.

Jo

The first time I met her I accidentally flung a vibrator, two condoms, four tampons, my spare thong, and a red lace bra all over her driveway.

Me

Weirdly, that makes me feel so much better.

Thank you for your service.

Jo

*dusts off shoulder*

My work here is done.

Love ya, bestie. See you next week.

Smart Girl Smut Sisters

Jo

Ladies, we have a brand new smut sister among us.

Just added Amelia to the chat. You probably know her as Elliot’s mystery girl from the plane.

Pam, make enough margs for three because she’s coming on Tuesday. Or four, if Cece is coming. Cece are you coming?

Cece

Jo, darling, you know I can’t be pinned down like that. It’s way too far in advance to know where the spirits are going to move me next Tuesday night.

Jo

Well, I really hope the spirits move you to Pam’s house, because this book was a banger, and we have important things to discuss.

Pam

There will be margaritas for everyone. I’m trying a new recipe this week.

Hannah

Maybe use an actual measuring cup to measure the tequila this time. Last month you all got so drunk you hung up on me before we got to the good part.

Pam

Hannah, there are two things in life one should never measure. Chocolate chips and tequila.

Also, Amelia honey, I am so happy to meet you. I feel like I know you already.

Me

Thanks for including me. I really appreciate it.

Pam

No thanks necessary. You’re Elliot’s, so you’re ours too. Besides, I need more romance readers in my life. I’ve been surrounded by men for way too long.

Hannah

WAIT WAIT WAIT

I missed the first message in this conversation. YOU’RE ELLIOT’S PLANE GIRL OHMYGOD.

Jo

Seriously, Hans?

Hannah

Sorry, I was trying to work out a scene and haven’t been paying attention with my whole brain.

Jo

Amelia, in case you don’t know, our Hannah is somewhat of a romance writer herself.

Pam

If by somewhat you mean wrote eight of the most amazing books I’ve ever read, all of which were runaway best-sellers.

Jo

Yes, that. I have to keep her honest though. It’s the little sister in me.

Me

Hang on. You’re that Hannah Evans? Like, the Love Anticipated series?

Hannah

Yep, that’s me.

Me

Holy motherfucking shit. Your series, like, changed my brain chemistry. I think about it every day.

Oops. Sorry for the language. Got a little carried away.

Pam:

Oh, honey, you never have to apologize for your language. And if you’re prone to getting carried away, well, welcome to the club. You’re in a safe space now.

And nothing deserves a holy motherfucking shit like Hannah’s series. That one scene with the headboard?

Me

RIGHT?

Pam

100% right.

Hannah

It will never, ever not be weird to hear people talk about my books like this.

Pam

We’re not just any people, we’re your people. You are incredibly talented, and I’m not just saying that because your sister loves my son and because your books often require cold showers after reading.

Jo

What she said, Hans.

Pam

Now we just have to get your ass to Boston so you can stop calling in on book club night and start coming here to get drunk on unmeasured tequila with the rest of us.

Hannah

Maybe one day.

Cece

Oh, I think one day might be sooner than you all think.

Jo

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

Cece

Jo dear, you should know by now that I know everything.

Pam

Okay, I have to go teach a Zumba class so I’m running, but next Tuesday. 6. Dinner and drinks will be served.

Me

Can I bring anything?

Pam

For your first time at my house? Don’t you dare.

You can bring something the second time.

Jo

Once she asks you to bring something, you know you’re part of the family.

Pam

Oh, Amelia is part of the family already anyway. I’m just being polite.

Cece

Pammy, I think you’ve got a touch of the clairvoyant in you too.

Pam

Like I always say, I think I was a witch in a previous life.

Me

Why did a bag of red gummy bears, two packages of lemon Oreos, three different potato chip flavors, a case of Diet Pepsi, and an empty mug just appear at my doorstep?

Elliot

Probably because you insisted on going home tonight instead of sleeping in my bed again. I wanted to make sure you had all the snacks you needed.

Me

You already fed me like an hour ago. I feel like I should tell you again that those tacos you made were the best tacos I’ve ever had.

Elliot

That was dinner. If I know you, you sat down at your computer as soon as you got home, and you’ll lose track of time and eventually start looking around for a midnight snack. You need sustenance for all that brilliance. I provided the sustenance.

Me

When you’re right, you’re right. I had an idea on the way home for the search function for Genesis I wanted to test out.

Elliot

The search function is already perfect.

Me

I know, but this could make it even more perfect.

I should probably be doing actual work for actual school, but I needed to do this first.

Elliot

If it makes you feel better, I should be writing an article I have due in two weeks, but instead I’m sifting through early 1900s British military rolls and all those London property records you pulled for me.

Me

Am I the weird one if I say that sounds like fun?

Elliot

If you are, I am too. I’m loving every damn minute of it.

Me

We’re going to find him. I know we will.

Elliot

We will.

No one else I would rather solve a hundred-year-old family mystery with than you, Mystery Girl.

Me

You’re really going to keep calling me that? Even after this weekend.

Elliot

Until the end of time.

Shit, I didn’t mean until the end of time seriously.

Like, I don’t think we’re going to be together until the end of time.

Not that we’re together.

I don’t think that. This all just happened. Unless you do.

Think that, that is.

Fuck

Where’s a delete text message function when you need one?

Your brother really should have put one of those on his phones.

Me

Wow, you just did a whole thing there all by yourself.

Elliot

Sorry, I think my brain broke for a minute. It’s just that you’re really pretty and I like you a lot.

Me

I like you a lot too.

Elliot

You do?

Me

Nah, but you’re really good in bed.

Elliot

AMELIA.

(also yes, I really, really am).

Me

Fine, I like you a lot too.

Elliot

That’s a big relief, because I really want to keep you.

Me

Even if it could cost you your job?

Elliot

You’re worth it. But we take this at your pace.

Me

You’re one of the good ones, Elliot Wyles.

Elliot

You’re the best one, Amelia Sullivan.

Me

Okay, in other news, I just picked up the mug and it’s perfect. How did you know to choose the most perfect soda mug of all time?

Elliot

That first day at the diner, you said their mugs were perfect. Then yesterday, you picked up every mug in my kitchen until you found one that you wanted. I looked for one like those. Big but not heavy, with a wide handle.

Me

The question stands. How are you even real?

Elliot

I just pay attention to you.

Me

I’ll say.

Wait. How did you get my address?

Elliot

I’m your professor. I looked it up.

Me

So, what you’re saying is you used your position of power over me to find my address?

That seems kind of unethical, Professor Wyles.

Elliot

Shit.

Now I’m hard and you’re not here and my bed smells like you.

Maybe you should come back over. Or I’ll come to you. You only live like two miles away. I can run there in fifteen minutes or less.

Me

Now you’re just bragging.

Elliot

I didn’t hear you complaining when you were eye fucking me earlier.

Me

I sure wasn’t. That was straight up sexy.

Elliot

You’re straight up sexy. And so fucking gorgeous it makes my chest ache.

Me

Jesus. I need to go back to work before you kill me with all that swoon.

And thanks to you, I won’t end up in my kitchen at midnight, frustrated that I’m out of all my favorite snacks.

Elliot

Anything for you. Sweet dreams, Mystery Girl.

Me

Night, El.