Page 51

Ezra

“Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think,” said Jude, who was lounging in the deck chair next to Ezra out on the back patio.

They’d wrangled the kids and brought them outside so they could burn off some of their endless energy—energy that was now being spent skittering around the playset at top speed not as children, but as squirrels, while Buttons hunted them for sport.

Since it was a sunny day, Ezra had also brought along the eggs.

They shared the deck chair with him, warmed by both his body heat and the sunshine.

Luckily, they showed no interest in being squirrels, but there was no telling how long that would last. Jude’s eggs had only stayed eggs for three months, and they were creeping up on that three-month mark pretty darn quick.

“Mr. and Mrs. Leon are, uh, well… they’re pretty eccentric by human standards, and they certainly have opinions about things, but they’ve loved you since the beginning.

Like, way more than they ever liked me. I think they’ll get over the whole ‘slut blood’ thing pretty fast.”

“It’s been like, two months since Titan called to tell them about the eggs, and Mr. Leon is still being a passive-aggressive dick whenever he has to reach out about work stuff.

He won’t even talk to me anymore. Pretty sure any hop es that this will be over ‘fast’ died when he hung up a work call because I was the one who answered. ”

“Well…”

“Well?”

“I was trying to think of something uplifting to say, but the best I’ve got is at least they’re not a part of your kids’ lives. You won’t have to have any difficult talks about why they can’t see Grandma and Grandpa anymore.”

Ezra wrinkled his nose and drew the eggs closer to his body.

“See, that’s the thing. They’re still planning on coming for the hatching.

I am obviously not a huge fan of the idea of them being there, but Titan is of the opinion that it would be a way bigger scandal if we refused them their grandchildren.

Like, if my ‘slut blood’ is tabloid material, us blocking them from our kids’ lives would be international news.

There would be a ripple effect in the government, and apparently it would not be good.

I want to be selfish and say that sounds like a them problem, but I don’t know, man.

It’s complicated. There’s a chance doing it could come back to bite me and Titan in the ass if it messes with our jobs, and that’s not even taking into consideration that this is Titan’s homeworld, and if it explodes because of us, I’ll be carrying that guilt around for life. ”

“I’m sure it won’t actually explode,” Jude said reassuringly.

Ezra flattened his brow. “Titan says the opposition has proposed slicing the planet in half with a giant laser beam so it will be easier to mine for rare minerals, which, according to science, will cause cataclysmic seismic and volcanic activity. Seventy to ninety percent of all life on the planet would be wiped out.”

“I… see.” Jude grimaced. “So it sounds like letting them meet the kids is the lesser of two evils.”

“I’ll have to let you know when I decide. The jury’s still out on this one.”

A trill of terror pierced the air, causing both Jude and Ezra to bolt upright. One of the children—it was impossible to tell which—had transformed into a squirrel the size of a golden retriever, seized one of the squirrel-sized children, and chucked them directly into Button’s mouth.

Buttons did not chew the child, but it did not stop them from screaming like they were being murdered, tiny squirrel arms flailing dramatically.

“Jesus Christ,” Jude muttered under his breath, then, louder, “You can only keep playing squirrels if you stop sacrificing your siblings to Buttons. Everyone, back to normal squirrel size, please, and come out where I can see you. All right, that’s…

” Jude squinted, lips pursed. “Wait, why are there eight of you? Is there an actual squirrel in there? You can keep playing with it if you want, I guess, but I am not feeding it dinner.”

Seven bushy tails twitched happily. The eighth squirrel, still in Button’s mouth, gave Jude a thumbs-up.

With the crisis handled, Jude sank into his seat and folded his arms behind his head.

“I know it’s not much of a consolation, but at least you’ll be here on Earth and they’ll be over on Darvrok 6 most of the time.

You’ll probably have to suffer through one horrible visit a year, but the rest of the time, you won’t have to worry, and—bonus—you won’t have to suffer alone.

Al and I will be there suffering right alongside you.

We can all go on late-night Taco Bell bitchfest runs together. ”

“Dude, you’re almost making it sound like a good time.”

Jude grinned. “What’s the point of having friends if you can’t dunk on your shitty in-laws together?”

The patio door squeaked as it opened, cutting short their conversation.

Ezra rolled his head back to see who was coming to join them, and found a deflated-looking Titan standing in the doorway.

He held his weird alien cell phone in one hand, its screen still illuminated—he must have b een fresh off a call.

“Many sorries for the intrusion,” he said, sounding every bit as crestfallen as he looked. “I have come in search of my sweet Ezra, but perhaps it is fortuitous I have found you as well, Human Jude, as the news I bear will cause impact upon you as well.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jude asked, not budging from his seat. “What’s up?”

“You look upset,” Ezra added. “Is everything okay?”

“The letters O and K are not fit to describe this situation, I am afraid,” Titan admitted with a frown.

He came to stand by Ezra, fingers finding their way into Ezra’s hair.

They stroked slowly, idly, seeking as much comfort as they intended to provide.

“I have just had correspondence with my father, and he has confirmed that Secretary of Defense Buttons has issued visitor visas for both him and Mother for the dates previously discussed. They will arrive mere days before the hatching of our clutch, and will remain until the offspring have emerged.”

It still boggled Ezra’s mind that his cat had been called in to replace him and Titan during their paternity leave, but it was maybe the fifth weirdest thing that had happened to him in the last few years, so he didn’t dwell on it much.

“Then they’ll be here in about a month?” Jude asked.

Titan nodded. “Indeed.”

“I’ll go make sure Al knows, so he can get prepared.

” He rose from the deck chair and cupped his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice, calling out, “All right, kids. Time to go inside. No squirrels in the house. No, not even very nice ones. We can come back out later, after we’ve all had a rest and something to drink. ”

The kids flew across the yard in their human forms, laughing, hooting, and chittering like the squirrels they had been only seconds before.

Jude corralled them through the open patio door, then looked over his shoulder to smile at Ezra, letting him know he was purposefully giving Ezra and T itan time to be on their own.

He closed the door with a squeak, and once he was gone, Titan dropped right where he’d been standing to sit cross-legged on the deck, head resting against the side of Ezra’s deck chair.

It was Ezra’s turn to stroke his hair, which he did lovingly.

As stressed as he was to have to play nice with someone who considered him an inferior being, Titan had it worse—this was his father they were talking about.

Titan’s role model. It was difficult to be at such great odds with someone you once admired.

“I’m not thrilled about what’s happening,” Ezra said after a beat, “but we’re gonna get through this. No matter what, it’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

“I am aware of this,” Titan said miserably. “I simply wish circumstances were less undesirable. I have worries for your well-being. I do not want you to be made to feel like you are anything less than the exceptional, intelligent, handsome, and pleasingly hairy being that you are.”

“Good news—I’m pretty sure that even at his nastiest, your dad won’t make me feel less hairy.”

“Perhaps not, but he will reduce you in other ways, and I do not wish for you suffer.”

Ezra hummed thoughtfully, his hand going still.

After a moment’s pause, he slithered out of the deck chair—careful not to disrupt the eggs—and climbed onto Titan’s lap.

“Hey,” he said, looking Titan in the eyes. “Remember when I was delivering the eggs, and I was screaming and crying and throwing up?—”

“You did not?—”

“Shh.” Ezra pressed his finger to Titan’s lips. “No talking. Only listening. Do you remember how much I was struggling? How I wanted to give up? I was at peak suffering trying to pass those things, and in the heat of the moment I was sure I wasn’t going to survive, but I did, and do you kn ow why?”

Titan shook his head.

“I made it because you were there with me, coaching me through it, giving me strength. I know things haven’t been great lately and we’ve both been feeling like we’re at the end of our ropes, but we’ll get through this together, okay?

You have nothing to worry about no matter how bad things get, because I know you’ll be there for me just like I’ll be there for you. ”

Titan’s shoulders slumped.

He nodded, but did not say a word.

“You can talk again,” Ezra said, realizing his mistake. “I just needed to make sure you heard me. You have nothing to worry about, okay?”

“Okay.”

Titan wrapped his arms around Ezra’s waist, and Ezra looped his over Titan’s shoulders.

They shared a slow, meaningful kiss that would have lasted forever had it not been for the squirrel that hopped up to them, watched them curiously for a second, then flung itself at Titan and began to climb him like a tree.

Ezra yelped and toppled backward.

Titan did not.

He craned his neck in an attempt to look down his body as the squirrel ran laps around him like it was in the Daytona 500.

“Observe this small, hairy creature,” Titan said gleefully, lifting an arm so the squirrel could run up, down, and under it. “It has chosen me for its shenanigans, and this brings me much joy.”

Ezra couldn’t say he felt the same—he was going to have to hose Titan down immediately after the squirrel went on its way—but in these dark days, with an impending visit from his in-laws looming, it felt like a blessing to see Titan smile, so he snorted and let the squirrel stay.

These were the moments they had to cling to, and with a little more than a month dividing them from what promised to be a difficult time, he was going to cling hard .

And maybe invest in some calamine.

Those little fuckers were cute, but the last thing Ezra needed was to be itchy thanks to fleas.