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Titan

While Ezra had no qualms showing Titan affection in private, such was not the case beyond the walls of his unconsciousness quarters.

On the ride in the Earth government’s ground vehicle to the Darvrokian consulate the following morning, Titan had attempted to hold his hand, only for Ezra to deftly snatch it away.

He had cast him an apologetic smile to show he meant no offense, but Titan had been mildly offended anyway.

At the consulate, Titan attempted to guide him toward their conference room by pressing his palm to the small of his back, but Ezra had glanced nervously at Kyle, who was close behind them, and sped up so he was walking just out of reach.

Titan was not certain what this reluctance meant, but he worried that Ezra was avoiding public displays of affection because he was not decided on his feelings toward him, despite how he might act when they were alone.

Titan could not help but remember what had been told to him multiple times by now—Ezra did not do commitment.

Again, he found himself hoping that their research would yi eld results that worked in his favor. While he was certain that he had love for Ezra, he could not guarantee that Ezra had love for him in return, and this frightened him in a way he had never felt before.

He wanted to jump right into sleuthing the second they arrived at their conference room, but first they had to accomplish the work they were paid to do.

They had clients to vet.

One was a woman who worked as a weapons expert on Darvrok 6 and was particularly interested in Earth explosives. Titan saw no reason to deny her entry, but Ezra said that he would be in trouble with the world governments if he let in someone who was “super horny for bombs and shit.”

The second was a man who attempted to get him and Ezra to invest in his specialty three-sided dice business, stating that all they had to do was purchase dice from him, sell said dice, and recruit friends and family to sell as well for special bonuses.

He insisted this would culminate in wealth beyond their wildest dreams, but Ezra denied him on the grounds of “there are enough pyramid schemes on Earth already,” and also did not permit Titan to spend one thousand Earth dollars on specialty three-sided dice.

The last client was a man Titan was distantly related to, who was known in the family as being obsessed with what humans would refer to as “gaming,” often gathering his—admittedly—very few friends together to make up fantastical scenarios and play them out as though they were real.

He stated he wanted to explore Earth for new material for his campaigns, and Ezra approved his application because he was “hella curious to see what alien Dungeons and Dragons was like.” This meant nothing to Titan, but he allowed it all the same.

Finally, after all the paperwork had been completed, signed, and sent off to the relevant parties, the two of them had time to go through the files of previously approved clients who were now living on Earth with visas.

There was not much organization in their search .

The three of them—Kyle offered his services as well—merely gathered up files, spread them over the table, and began scouring them for anything that appeared promising.

There was great diversity among the Darvrokians they had admitted onto the planet, including two philosophers, one Sand Dweller wrestler, a barista, three students studying abroad, and a retired couple wanting to explore the universe before old age turned them to dust. Titan set aside ones he thought might be useful, but none seemed quite right.

There was a doctor, but her specialty was in cardiovascular health, not obstetrics.

There was a historian who would have been promising if his expertise had not been in Aquatic Beasts rather than Land Walkers like himself.

In an act of desperation, Titan singled out a cross-species relations coordinator, but her focus was mainly on paperwork and complaints.

Growing discouraged, he asked, “Have either of you discovered anything of use?”

“Nada,” said Ezra, which Titan now knew was a word in Spanish, a language, Ezra had explained the day prior, that was in fact spoken in Madrid, Spain, Europe, Earth.

“Perhaps I have located something of interest,” Kyle said, skimming through a sheet of paper. “Or rather, someone.”

“Whaddya got?” Ezra asked, getting up to peer over Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle pointed at something on the paperwork, and Ezra read aloud, “Occupation: interspecies fertility specialist.”

He raised an eyebrow at Titan.

“I am unfamiliar with that job title,” Titan said, “but it sounds as though it would give promise.”

“It’s promising, yeah,” Ezra agreed. He held a hand out and Kyle passed him the sheet of paper. He scanned the page and said, “Wait a second. I remember this guy.”

“Which applicant was he?”

“Joe,” Ezra said with a grimace. “The weird one… I mean, weirder than usual. He spoke in outdated slang and asked me a lot of personal questions. ”

“Oh yes, I recall him,” Titan said. “You disagreed with me about his admittance onto Earth, but perhaps it was good that I won that particular argument, if he is capable of assisting us.”

“Ugh.” Ezra made a face. “I was hoping that had been the last of that guy. I guess you’re right, though. He seems like our best bet.”

“He is located nearby, in Bumfuck Nowhere, New Mexico, Earth,” Kyle said, pointing at the address field on the paper in Ezra’s hands. “We should easily be able to visit.”

“What the hell,” Ezra said with a shrug. “Let’s give it a shot.”

“You don’t have to tip Uber drivers a hundred dollars, man,” Ezra said as the three of them left the black Nissan Versa driven by Santana F.

and approached the elegant dwelling in which interspecies fertility specialist Joe resided.

It was much smaller than any government-appointed building, but it made up for it with its impressive display of silver wind chimes—at least sixty in total—which hung from various places and made music for the flock of one-legged, statue-like pink birds scattered across the grounds.

One of the birds must not have been native to the area, as it had a scarf wrapped around its neck and a small but charming knitted hat with a fluffy pompom on its head.

“You guys think this might be the place?” Ezra asked, deadpan. He had to speak loudly to be heard over the wind chimes.

“Of course it is,” Kyle said with a frown.

Titan nodded. “This is the address in the file—why would that be incorrect? I created the file and I do not make mistakes. I mean… I do not make mistakes often. ”

He looked to Ezra for approval, who clapped him on the arm. “A for effort.”

Titan’s grasp of the bad language known as English was firm enough that he knew “effort” did not start with an “a,” but before he could bring this to Ezra ’s attention, Ezra had bounded up the stairs and pressed the doorbell. A distant melody played, which caused Ezra to furrow his brow.

“He’s got his doorbell set up to play ‘Ice, Ice, Baby,’” he said with a snort.

Titan exchanged a blank look with Kyle.

Despite Ezra’s claims, there was no ice or offspring to be seen.

An increment later, there came the sound of movement from inside the dwelling, and an increment after that the door swung open and there stood Joe, hair sticking every which way and dressed in a hot pink… Titan believed the word was “Speedo.”

“Ezra!” Joe said with a giant smile that showed off his shiny white teeth. “My main man! I was hoping I’d catch you on the flip side. What is cracking?”

Titan watched Ezra briefly close his eyes and take a calculated breath.

“Hey, Joe,” he said on the exhale. “My, uh, friends and I had a few questions for you. Uh, personal questions, I should say. We think you might be able to help us out, but, uh…” He glanced down very quickly at Joe’s Speedo, cringed, and looked back at Joe’s face.

“If this is a bad time we can always come back later.”

“Hey, no worries, man. It is chill. I would love to help you out. How are you doing, by the way? Are you taking it sleazy?”

“I’m… you know what, sure. Yep. I’m taking it sleazy.”

“Radical,” said Joe. “Well, why don’t you guys come in and?—”

“Babe, who’s at the door?” called a woman’s voice from inside the house.

A second later, the owner of the voice came into view.

She was a middle-aged woman wearing a fluffy lavender robe.

Her dark hair was strewn about in the same way Ezra’s often was upon first waking up in the morning, although judging by the time of day, Titan did not think she had only just gotten out of bed.

She came to stand behind Joe, and her strong eyebrows shot to her hairline at the sight of them all standing in the doorway.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Ezra said in a squeak, eyes blown wide and eyebrows mimicking hers in more ways than one. “ Mom? ”