Ezra

With the vows recited, Corbin guided Al and Jude through the declaration of intent, leading them to legalize their union in the eyes of the US government with the words, “I do.” It was a beautifully emotional moment, and even Ezra found himself getting misty-eyed, but with the exception of Jude’s family, the audience looked on apathetically.

It seemed the Darvrokians in attendance weren’t connecting much with human tradition, which…

Ezra wrinkled his nose thoughtfully.

Had anyone told them about the significance behind a human wedding?

Someone probably should have thought to add a pamphlet or something to go along with the wedding invites, but it was a little late for that now, and honestly, it didn’t really matter. It wasn’t like a human would ever marry a Darvrokian again.

Rather than step down from the altar and exit down the aisle, Al and Jude remained in place while Corbin said his final thank-yous and goodbyes to the audience and hopped down off his milk crate.

He leaned in to whisper something to Jude on his way out which made J ude’s cheeks flush, then went to sit in the first row next to Jude’s brother, Lennon.

Lennon whispered something to him that was most likely a congratulations on a job well done, judging by the thumbs-up he paired with whatever he said, and Corbin absolutely ate it up.

With his most charming, sharkish grin, he arched an eyebrow and leaned in to whisper something back to Lennon much in the same way he had whispered something to Jude…

but this time, Ezra wagered there was a different reason behind why Lennon’s cheeks turned pink.

When Corbin was seated, a member of the audience in the front row hobbled to her feet.

She gripped a gnarled cane in one hand and what looked like a quartz crystal tower in the other, although Al had insisted it definitely wasn’t quartz and actually some rare and expensive gem from Darvrok 6 that boosted telepathic abilities.

It sounded a lot like a magic rock shop marketing ploy to Ezra, but whatever.

Who was he to stop an entire alien race from attuning to the universe and getting their chakras aligned?

The Darvrokian with the crystal had been introduced to Ezra during the rehearsal dinner as Al’s great-aunt, whose true name was nearly unpronounceable, but who had helpfully asked to be called by her chosen human name “Ruth the Elder” while she wore her human disguise.

In her true form she was quite old, but as a human, she was even older.

Corbin had told Ezra that she’d learned that in human culture, wizened old women were seen as wise, so she’d committed to the bit with her whole chest.

Long, thin white hair.

Sagging skin.

Wrinkles like crumpled paper.

Her back was permanently hunched, and she wobbled with every step she took—not because she was infirm, but because she was theatrical.

Slowly—very slowly—she made her way to the altar. It was only a few i nches off the ground, but she didn’t even attempt to climb up onto it. Titan swept forward unprompted and lifted her up from beneath the armpits, like you might a small child.

“Thank you, dear,” she croaked when he set her down. “You are such a considerate offspring.”

Titan bowed his head respectfully. “You are very much welcome.”

“You are very much welcome please, ” Al admonished from the sidelines.

Titan shot him a dirty look which Ezra almost— almost —found endearing. Except he didn’t, because he definitely wasn’t thinking about Titan at all.

Ruth the Elder handed Titan the crystal and took a moment to smooth the wrinkles out of her ceremonial robes—which were giving serious cult vibes, if cult members dressed in midnight blue with starry galaxy patterns—then took the crystal back and allowed Titan to take her arm and guide her to the milk crate.

He lifted her up onto it, then returned to his place next to Al.

“I see the Burrow Worms have remained dormant,” Ruth the Elder announced, speaking with surprising proficiency into the microphone. “It is surely a sign the universe is at peace with this union, and as such, we shall proceed.”

“Burrow Worms?” whispered a bewildered Jude.

Al nodded. “It is said they know the future, and will interrupt ill-advised bonding ceremonies with their teeth.”

Before Ezra or Jude could make heads or tails of that, Ruth the Elder clapped her hands together in a single, striking blow that ended all conversation.

The crystal now sat in a cup holder that had been rigged to the back of the podium while the cane was balanced at an angle against the podium’s side.

By the overly stern and serious look on Ruth the Elder’s face, her intent was clear—it seemed the bonding ceremony was about to begin.

Once the room was dead quiet, she said something in her native tongu e, which everyone, except for the humans in attendance, replied to in unison in a sort of call-and-answer.

“This is how we start our bonding ceremonies in our tradition,” she clarified.

“I have difficulty in translating it, but it is an honoring of the universe for granting us this happy day. We may now proceed with the next step, in which I will seek the truth in AA.??’p’Zx’s and Human Jude’s hearts to prove their intentions and make sure the bonding ceremony is correct and good. ”

She turned to Al who, without prompting, held up a hand.

Ruth the Elder raised hers in response and the two of them pressed their fingers together.

Ezra waited for the questions to come, but all that Ruth the Elder did was stare unblinkingly at Al in complete silence.

Ezra glanced at the audience and found all of them watching intently with no signs of confusion or impatience, with the exception of Jude’s parents and brother, who seemed just as baffled as he was.

Without making a conscious decision to do so, Ezra sought out Titan and was surprised to find him already looking at him, his eyes a neutral hazel color.

Ezra expected a smirk or a conspiratorial wink, but instead Titan mouthed the word “telepathy,” and Ezra realized with mild surprise that Titan had seen that he was struggling and was trying to help him understand what was going on.

Sure enough, not thirty seconds later, Ruth the Elder and Al stopped touching hands, and Ruth the Elder announced, “AA.??’p’Zx has given his consent for the bonding to proceed.

” She then focused her attention on Jude and held her hand up in the same way she had done with Al.

“Human Jude Adler,” she said, “it is your time to answer the questions.”

Jude only hesitated for a beat before bringing his hand up and pressing his fingers and palm to hers. The corners of his eyes twitched and he flinched minutely, like he was experiencing something mildly unpleasant, and Ezra deduced that Ruth the Elder must be inside his mind .

“Both AA.??’p’Zx and Human Jude have given their consent for the bonding to proceed,” Ruth the Elder announced a minute later, and the aliens in attendance once again recited something in a language that was all garbled consonants and throat sounds that Ezra didn’t think he could replicate if he practiced for a hundred years.

Ezra let himself look to Titan for clarification.

Titan subtly pointed a finger at the sky and mouthed the words “thank you,” explaining that this was another show of thanks to the universe.

“The bonding shall commence,” Ruth the Elder announced, sounding even more official than she had before. “Take position, dudes.”

They really should have gone over this in more detail during the rehearsal dinner, Ezra thought to himself as all the aliens got up in unison and began kneeling, already aware of what they were meant to do.

Jude’s family was left looking awkward and alarmed, the only ones still sitting in their chairs while the aliens “took position.” Corbin was the only human in attendance who didn’t look bothered by being hopelessly lost—he was too busy flirting with Lennon with his eyes.

Once again, and with great reluctance, Ezra sought out Titan. Strangely, unlike the other Darvrokians, he was still standing upright. Their eyes met right away, almost like Titan was expecting Ezra to look, and once they did, he gave Ezra the tiniest nod as if to say, “I’ve got you.”

Slowly—demonstratively—Titan lowered himself to his knees.

It was such a small act of kindness, but it hit Ezra with the crushing weight of a fallen tree. Pinned by it, too surprised to move, he simply stared at the alien across from him.

His heart skipped a treacherous beat, and finally he followed Titan to his knees.

Titan wasn’t a good guy, he reminded—almost chastised—himself as Titan held out his arms to either side and bent them at the elbows.

He was a douchebag. A jerk. A grade-A asshole who did not deserve the time of day…

but when he looked across at Ezra to check in on him, making a little “okay, now you” gesture with his head, Ezra couldn’t help but think that maybe there was something more to him than his rotten personality.

Maybe he wasn’t a lost cause.

Maybe…

“I will now join the minds of AA.??’p’Zx and Human Jude,” Ruth the Elder said in her declarative, raspy old lady voice. “You will give me your concentration and assist me in making this connection so that it is a very good bond, please.”