Page 44 of No Safe Place

Thursday | Evening

Lily

The front door closed with a click, and Lily sat up on Scott’s sofa, switching off EastEnders . The movement made her stomach clench, her throat still sore from the bile she’d spat up while he was gone.

‘Lil?’ Scott’s voice was light, and relief spread through her.

He’d been gone ages, but he must have gone for a walk, to clear his head.

‘Hello,’ he said, poking his head round the door and smiling at her.

There was rustling in the hallway and then he came into the room. He took her hands in his and pulled her to her feet.

‘Hey,’ he said, softly. He moved her arms and put them round his neck.

She let out a low growl and put her head on his chest. He smelled like soap and fresh laundry.

‘I’ve got a surprise for you.’

She didn’t look up. ‘Is it my own door key? Because I’m going to need one.’

He chuckled and planted a kiss on the top of her head. ‘Wait there.’

She waited in the middle of the room, her grubby socks out of place against the polished wooden floors. Scott re-entered, laden with tote bags, holding them aloft like a fisherman with the catch of the day.

She felt sick again. Anxiety-sick or sickness-sick she couldn’t tell.

‘I bought your favourite.’ Scott bounced on the balls of his feet. ‘I couldn’t get sprouts for the bubble and squeak in Sainsbury’s, so I went to M&S and got pre-made stuff. It’ll be better than what I could make anyway, so I thought fuck it.’

Lily pushed past him, back to the hallway.

‘Lil?’

Lil. Lil. Lil. She’d spent the past two days lurching from one crisis to another, and Scott was always there, right behind her, calling her in that confused little-boy voice.

‘I need some air,’ she said, stumbling and putting a hand out to catch herself.

‘You shouldn’t go out, the police said. Did I do something wrong?’ Scott grabbed her arm as she reached for her shoes. ‘I wanted to show I wasn’t bothered about the food thing. That we can fight it together.’

‘It’s not a “food thing”—’ Lily wrenched her arm from his grip. ‘And I don’t need you to fight it. This – this stuff – it’s too much. You’ve only just found out, and your first reaction is to do a big shop? What the actual fuck?’

He looked hurt and confused, and it made Lily angrier.

‘Do I not have enough going on? The man who got me better is in hospital, and I’m processing the fact that my—’

Scott’s concerned expression hardened into something ugly.

‘That Callum has been sectioned,’ Lily corrected. But the fight was over.

‘I was doing a nice thing,’ Scott said, his voice hard. ‘I thought we could cook together. It hasn’t escaped my notice that you’ve barely eaten today.’

He took a step towards her, and Lily shrank back, another painful wrench in her abdomen making her double over.

It wasn’t just anxiety. Scott’s bathroom was by the front door, and she lurched into it, making it to the toilet as the first heave hit her.

Scott was behind her, trying to hold her hair back. Lily pushed him away. She’d rather get sick in her hair.

‘You’re not well, Lil. You need to rest, drink some water. I’ve got rehydration sachets.’

She turned, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. She never did get into her bath. The bubbles were slowly dying in the cooling water, leaving a ring of scum around the edge.

She flushed the toilet. ‘I want to go to bed. I want to be on my own.’