Page 5 of No Rhyme or Roughing (The Golden Guardians Hockey Hearts #1)

CHAPTER FIVE

SYDNEY

It had been a long time since I didn’t have somewhere to be on a Monday morning. I’d admit it—I was a workaholic. I loved dance, even if it was just telling others what moves to make. Me? I saved my dancing for the privacy of my own home.

Or, as it were, my brother’s home.

The guys had gone out for their morning skate. It was a game day, and I knew my brother well enough to predict their routine—morning with the team, afternoon nap, and then back to the arena.

I tried to block all thoughts of hockey from my mind.

It had taken over our lives when I was young.

First with Stas going all the way to the Olympics— not that she let us go support her—and then with Teddy turning it into a minor league career in our hometown and Kristen playing every chance she’d gotten.

I was the odd one out, choosing a sport as far away from the ice as I could get.

Dance. A thin girl’s sport. One I wasn’t built for with my broad hips and thick thighs. Yet, it didn’t dim my love for it. I’d been an awkward, pudgy child, but when I danced, I felt graceful, like I was beautiful.

My favorite song of Jameson’s pumped from the speaker, a heavy beat mixed with his breathy voice—a voice I’d loved hearing in my ear.

I wasn’t sure when I started moving, but I found myself going through the steps I’d taught him, the same ones he’d perform on stage over the coming months.

This wasn’t a graceful dance, but it was powerful.

One song morphed into the next, and my dance shifted with it.

Sweat dripped into my eyes, and I wiped it away as I made it nearly through his entire second album—my favorite.

It was his post-breakup work, and instead of songs mentioning his ex, they spoke of freedom, of choosing to focus on yourself, of making yourself happy.

There was a reason I hadn’t been able to stay out of his bed.

The final move was a turn, and when I faced the doorway to my room, I froze. Ryder leaned against the frame, one arm crossed over the other and a foot kicked back against the solid wood. He wore sweats low on his hips and no shirt, looking mussed, like he’d just woken up.

“Don’t you ever wear a shirt?” It burst out of me in my embarrassment.

His nose scrunched. “What? ”

I realized he couldn’t hear me over the music, so I pointed to his chest. “Shirt. You.”

He looked down. “What about me?”

With a roll of my eyes, I turned to end the music. The silence that followed thickened the air. When I faced Ryder again, I pulled my tank top down, making sure it covered the skin above my shorts. “What are you doing here?”

A slow smile spread across his lips. “Would you believe me if I said Teddy asked me to babysit you?”

Laughter burst out of me, but then it stopped suddenly as I remembered who I had to be. You’re too much, Sydney. Be less you. I lowered my voice and looked away. “You? Teddy would never trust you with his precious baby sister.”

Being that I wasn’t a baby any longer, that had a different meaning now.

What would Teddy do if I kissed his best friend right here and now?

If I yanked him into this room and peeled those pants from his hips?

God, what was wrong with me? Even in my head, I sounded like another person when faced with Ryder Cassidy.

Ryder leaned his head against the doorframe, still smiling at me. “I think this is the first time you’ve said more than a few words to me since you got here.”

“It’s just the exertion. Makes me talkative.”

“No.”

I only felt like myself when I was dancing or choreographing. I’d been here for a week now, and this was the first time I’d let my body just move. “Did you ever imagine weird little Sydy would make a career in dance?”

“Yes. Even then, I could tell you loved it.” He leaned farther into the room, dropping his voice. “And for the record, I never thought you were weird.”

No, he most likely hadn’t thought of me at all, which was a good thing. I’d just been a kid when he left, and I wasn’t his actual family. But now… I wanted him to want me.

I brushed by him on my way out the door in search of water. He followed me.

“Why aren’t you with the team?” Their morning skate couldn’t be over already.

“I’m sick.” He gave me a weak cough that was obviously fake. “Not playing tonight so I don’t have to be at the morning skate.”

Lifting one eyebrow, I shook my head and reached for a glass. I filled it at the sink and took a large gulp of water. “Some captain. Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“Mental health day?”

“Do hockey players get those?” I stifled a laugh, but when I looked back over my shoulder, he was no longer smiling. I set my glass down and turned to face him. “Is everything okay, Ryder?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting my gaze. “There’s something…” He shook his head. “I told Coach I couldn’t play tonight because I was too banged up and not feeling well.”

I stared at him for a moment longer before realizing whatever was going on, he didn’t want to talk about it. “Well, I have nothing to do today, and it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the Bay Area. Any suggestions for me?”

That smile—the one I wanted to box up and keep for all my rainy days—returned.

Ryder had always been the charmer, the one who could pull out pickup lines, but also knew when to stop.

Some people loved grumpy-sunshine romances, but what others had to understand about this man was that he was both grumpy and sunshine.

“You know…” His smile widened. “About a year ago, your brother bought a boat.”

“Absolutely. I’m in.”

Teddy was going to kill us, but what were sisters for if not stealing their brother’s boat—and his precious kettle corn, which he kept in heaping amounts? Armed with a cooler and a bag of snacks, we parked in the overpriced garage along The Embarcadero and made our way toward Pier 39.

The boat Ryder led me to was far too luxurious for the likes of us. I’d never made much use of my family’s money. Most of it came from Dad, and unlike Teddy, I hadn’t known him except when I was very young. Then, he left—my fault—and I became just Mom’s unwanted daughter.

It was okay, though, because I’d had my brother.

Teddy, however, loved his trust fund. He lavished in it. Expensive houses, boats, and nice cars. He spoiled himself and everyone around him.

The sleek black boat had leather seats for four people, so soft I could have fallen asleep under the California sun the moment I sat down. Except, Ryder was watching me, a shyness in his eyes .

The man who’d hit on me after a car accident hadn’t been shy.

“You’re different.” I leaned my head back, trying to force out more than my usual quiet words, trying to remember how easy it had been with this man when I was a kid. “Now that I’m not a stranger.”

He untied us from the dock and then sat behind the wheel. “You’re imagining things.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Ryder Sullivan. It won’t work.”

He pressed his lips together as the boat pulled farther out into the water. “Plainspoken little Sydy.” He shook his head, as if remembering the little girl who was too honest for her own good, who always said what was on her mind. Except, that wasn’t me anymore.

A breeze brought a chill across the top of the bay. San Francisco never got too hot, nor did it get very cold. Growing up, I’d found the weather boring, though everyone else said it was perfect. I pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt down over my hands and studied the man behind the wheel.

Dark brown hair blew back from his forehead as we sped up. He had naturally tan skin and warm eyes. It was the face I saw in my dreams—rounded jaw, angled cheekbones that looked like they’d been carved from gold.

His eyes flicked to me, and I looked away, pretending to watch Alcatraz in the distance. To busy my hands, I pulled a Perrier from the cooler and tossed a second one to him. The carbonation burned going down, and I coughed.

“You okay?”

He looked worried for me, but there was something deeper in his eyes, some other problem that had him avoiding his team. If I knew anything from Teddy, it was that hockey wasn’t just a game for these guys—it was a way of life.

I leaned forward in my seat. “Turn off the engine and come sit.”

We weren’t in a busy lane. In fact, it didn’t look like many people were out here this morning. To my surprise, he didn’t argue. The rumble of the boat stilled, leaving only the sound of water lapping at the sides and birds squawking overhead.

The closer we got to Alcatraz Island, the more gulls we’d see, so we needed to be careful not to get shit on. Ryder lowered himself onto the padded bench beside me.

I curled my legs under myself and turned to face him. “Secret for a secret.”

“What?”

I offered him a soft smile. “It’s simple, Ryder.

I’m going to figure out what’s wrong with you one way or another.

So, let’s play a game. I give you a secret, and you return the favor.

” I didn’t give him a chance to say no. “I’ll go first. This is the first time in years I don’t have my next job lined up. ”

“I’m sure you could?—”

“Nuh-uh.” I poked him in the chest. “No comments on secrets. Now, it’s your turn.”

A breath pushed past his lips, and his gaze drifted to the horizon. “I… Before I got the call from Mr. Mac a few years ago, I thought my hockey career had come to an end. And I was… relieved.”

“Why would you?— ”

“No questions, Ms. Valentine. Them’s the rules.”

He was right, damn it. Why did I set that rule? I sighed. “I didn’t come here just to see my brother. I…” I closed my eyes. “Had nowhere else to go.”

Mom was off with her newest boyfriend, and even if she wasn’t, there was no way I’d go crawling back to her.

A hand came under my chin, tilting my face up, and I opened my eyes to find Ryder watching me. “You know he’s happy to have you here, right? I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy in a long time.”

“Teddy is the best.” Only the two of us fully understood how great my brother was. He was a caretaker, a lover. If you found yourself in his orbit, you were lucky. “Okay, your turn.”

He bit his lip for a moment. “Did you know Sullivan is our goalie coach?”

I hadn’t, but it made sense that Mr. Mac would give him a shot too. “Is that your secret?”

He shook his head. “My secret is that I hate him. He’s my twin brother, and I wish I didn’t have to see him every day.”

Both Cassidy twins had been a part of our family growing up, and now more than ever, I wanted to ask for more.

Answers to my questions, to this giant secret burning between the brothers.

Why weren’t they close anymore? What had driven them apart when their bond had seemed unbreakable?

But I sensed his moment was over, so I merely reached for him.

His hand was rough as I took it between mine and squeezed. When I tried to pull away, he held on.

“Sex,” I blurted, my face heating .

A shock of laughter burst from him as I yanked my hand back. “What?”

“My client. A rock star. If anyone finds out, that next job I haven’t chosen could disappear.”

“I…” His entire body shook with laughter.

“It’s not funny.”

“Jameson Rhys, right?” He peeked sideways at me. “Oh, fuck. Little Sydy really has grown up.”

“I don’t know why I just told you that.” I smiled weakly. “I don’t really… Okay, so talking to people isn’t a particular talent of mine. But you’re… easy.”

“Thanks for the ringing endorsement.”

I nudged him with my foot. “I can see why they made you captain. There’s something… I don’t know… earnest about you. It makes me want to come to you with all my problems.”

He didn’t respond to that, didn’t meet my gaze. I busied myself getting the kettle corn out in the silence that followed, desperate to return to moments ago when we were talking so easily. “That was a juicy one, Ry. And something you can’t tell anyone.”

He pursed his lips before bending forward to bury his head in his hands. It was a moment before he pulled them away and looked sideways at me. “The team is being sold.”

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t have heard him right.

“We’ve been losing money for years. If we can’t turn around the attendance, they want to sell and probably relocate to Portland or somewhere in Canada.”

“That’s why you aren’t playing tonight.”

“I’m the only one who knows.”

“Teddy? ”

He sighed. “How am I supposed to tell any of them?”

I thought for a moment. They needed fans in the building. One of my first jobs had been working with baseball players who were influencers on social media.

Dancing.

It was the answer to everything.

“What if you didn’t have to?”