Page 37 of No Rhyme or Roughing (The Golden Guardians Hockey Hearts #1)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

SYDNEY

The morning after the party, the house was a wreck, but at least it was quiet. My stomach growled as I woke up, reminding me I’d barely eaten anything the night before. My nerves were on high alert, accompanied by a throbbing headache.

How much had I drunk after Teddy walked in on me and Ryder?

I’d avoided both of them for the rest of the evening, sticking with Sam, Shai, and Jameson instead. It felt good to be around people who didn’t expect anything from me. They weren’t looking at me like they wanted me to get over my issues and love them or asking me to be different .

I headed downstairs in search of food, following the smell of bacon. My first thought was that Rowan must be up, but it wasn’t him standing at the stove.

Teddy looked like he could barely stay upright as he poked at the bacon in the skillet. I walked up behind him, peering over his arm. “You’re burning it.”

“I know.” He sounded half-asleep. “But I wanted something greasy, and Rowan doesn’t buy anything unhealthy except bacon.”

I took the tongs from him and started flipping the overly crispy pieces. “Ever think you should be a big boy and do your own shopping?”

“He enjoys doing it,” Teddy mumbled, trudging to the table and dropping into a chair. “If he wasn’t around, I’d probably need to hire an assistant.”

That made me laugh. “An assistant for a minor league hockey player? Right.”

He folded his arms on the table and rested his chin on them. “Perks of having a guilt-ridden dad who shoveled money into our trust funds. You’d know this if you ever used yours.”

“I want nothing from him,” I said firmly. Plating the bacon on a paper towel-lined plate, I brought it to the table. The silence from our parents since Thanksgiving was deafening, but I didn’t want to dwell on that. “Eat. You look like you need it.”

“Last night got a little wild,” he said, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth and leaning back in his chair, studying me.

I avoided his gaze. “Was I just really drunk, or did Jules and Vasiliev do the entire dance routine in the living room? ”

“Sans shirts,” Teddy confirmed with a laugh. “I don’t really know how or why, but it seemed perfectly normal.”

“Nothing about this house is normal.”

I lowered myself into the chair across from him and picked up a piece of bacon, nibbling on it. My appetite was fading.

Teddy’s smile didn’t waver. That was his thing—brushing uncomfortable truths aside, being nice to everyone, never getting upset. “Yet, you’re still here.”

“You guys needed me,” I said defensively. “To save the team.”

“That we did.” He scratched his stubbly jaw. “Is that the only reason you haven’t looked for a new job?”

I wanted to tell him about San Jose and the other opportunities flooding my inbox, but something held me back. “Of course. What other reason is there?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe whatever it was I walked in on last night.”

“Yeah. That.”

“That.” His eyes held mine, unyielding. “What are you doing, Sydy?”

“Nothing.” I squirmed under his gaze. “It just… got out of control, okay?”

“What part? You sleeping with my best friend, or you making him fall in love with you?”

“He isn’t in love with me.” That wasn’t possible. I’d been clear about what this was. Even if my heart did a weird little flip at his words, it meant nothing.

“Lord, you’re an idiot.”

“Hey!” I swatted his arm. “Don’t be a dick.”

“You made me.”

“What? That’s ridiculous. ”

“You’re having sex with Ryder, Syd.”

I cringed. “Ew, don’t say ‘sex.’”

“You can do it but not talk about it?” His smirk was so irritating I wanted to smack it off his face.

“This conversation is over, Ted.” I stood abruptly. “My sex life is not a topic of conversation for my brother.”

“It is when you’re going to crush his best friend.” His voice had risen, and his eyes widened as a throat cleared near the doorway.

Rowan leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Who the hell is in here burning bacon? I could smell it upstairs.”

Teddy and I both pointed at each other.

Rowan sighed dramatically. “Ted, pal, how many times have I told you the stove is not a toy? Don’t touch.” Grumbling about burnt bacon, he opened the fridge and started pulling out ingredients for omelets.

His presence forced us to shove our sibling bickering into our back pockets. I flipped him the middle finger when he smirked at me.

Rowan quickly and easily made four omelets, setting them on the table. When Teddy reached for two, Rowan slapped his hand. “Ryder will be up soon. No one can sleep through this lovely conversation you were having.”

I glared at him, but he just patted my head and carried two plates to the living room, where Ryder was probably already awake.

The guys had today off before leaving for a long road trip tomorrow. I’d have the house to myself for two weeks. It was about to get weird.

Not like it wasn’t already .

Teddy stared at me.

I stared back.

Neither of us broke.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he scrubbed a hand over his face. “You might not want to believe it, but Ry cares about you more than he should. For his own safety, he should step away.”

“You sound like you think I’m going to murder him or something.”

“His soul, maybe.”

“You’re so dramatic.” I stood, eager to escape the conversation. Teddy knew me too well, knew what I was and wasn’t capable of.

He grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “I don’t want to sound like the harsh big brother right now, Syd.

I promise I don’t think you’re cruel, but you need to be careful.

Ryder isn’t like me or you. He and Sullie…

they grew up believing in love, wanting to find their person and thinking love would be enough to keep them.

We know it’s not real—those emotions. We’ve seen firsthand how they break and destroy.

“But he’s an optimist. Don’t take that from him.”

I hadn’t realized Teddy was so like me, so cynical about romance. He always hid behind his smiles and charm, pretending nothing got to him.

I’d been wrong about a lot.

Jameson was staying at a hotel near the arena under the name Lee Adama. He’d always loved his space shows .

At the front desk, I had them call up to his room. He came down moments later, arms spread wide. I ran into them, burying my face in his chest.

“Am I a horrible person?” I mumbled into the fabric of his shirt.

He gently pushed me back, holding me at arm’s length to study my face. “Never. But you need a drink.”

“It’s not even noon.”

“That’s why Bloody Marys exist.” He pulled the brim of his ball cap lower over his face and led me to the hotel bar.

The bar was nearly empty, but Jameson always preferred to avoid recognition. I slid onto a stool while he ordered himself a drink. I stuck with water.

We sat in silence for a while. I busied myself folding the wrapper from my paper straw into a caterpillar. Using the straw, I dripped water onto it, but it didn’t move.

“Can’t even do that right,” I muttered.

Jameson nudged me with his elbow. “Too much water. Watch.” He executed the trick perfectly, the wrapper writhing a bit before dying.

“Show-off.”

He shrugged. “Some of us are good at everything.”

I shoved him playfully. He barely moved, but his back shook with laughter. “I’ve missed you,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“So much so that you hooked up with one of the dancers before I even left?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Babe, we both knew we were just using each other. I enjoyed your company, but you never wanted anything real from me.”

“What even is this ‘real’ you speak of?”

“Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe trusting someone enough to dance in front of a crowd during a hockey game.”

“Shut up. You talked to Teddy.”

“He thinks this Ryan guy is in love with you.”

“Ryder.”

“I know.” He grinned. “Wanted to see how fast you’d correct me.”

“Is he?” he asked.

“Is he what?”

“In love with you?”

“Maybe?” I threw my hands up in defeat. “How should I know? I don’t want him to be.”

“Poor guy.” Jameson shook his head. “I pity the fool who makes you care about them.”

“I’ve known him my entire life. Of course I care.”

“That’s not what I meant.” His smirk was irritating, but he wasn’t my brother, so yelling at him wasn’t an option.

Instead, I guzzled my water and waved for him to continue. “Go on. You’re going to say whatever you want regardless of my opinion.”

He leaned in, lowering his voice. “Darlin’, you’re trying way too hard to convince yourself you don’t love him. That means something.”

“Does it?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” I looked away. “I don’t think so.” But I knew he was right. “Dammit. ”

Jameson slapped a hand on the bar. “Another round of water for the young lady, please. She’s in love.”

I clapped a hand over his mouth. “Don’t say that.”

He bit my fingers, and I snatched them away.

“Let me ask you something,” he said as the bartender slid another water in front of me.

“You’re going to, whether or not I let you.”

He laughed. “True. Do you think about him all the time, like you can’t get him out of your head?”

I shrugged, though the answer was obvious.

“Does his touch feel different than mine did? Warmer somehow? Like electricity under your skin?”

“He gives me orgasms.”

A few patrons turned to look at us. My face burned.

Jameson grinned, unbothered. “When he talks, do his words stick with you, like they matter? Does his smile seep into you until all you want is to make it happen again?”

I couldn’t look at him. My lips pressed into a thin line. “Who is she?”

“This isn’t about me.” His tone softened, tinged with sadness.

I grabbed his hand. “Who is she?”

His shoulders sagged. “Someone I screwed up with a long time ago.”

“Do you really think love can last?”

“It can if you work for it.”

I laced my fingers through his on the bar. “Let’s make a deal.” Jameson was a betting man; deals came as easily to him as breathing. “You go find that girl and apologize for whatever you did. Just tell her you’re sorry. And I’ll try not to be afraid of Ryder. ”

He studied me for a moment then nodded. “Deal.”

We left soon after, and I returned home to an empty house.

It was nearly dark when Ryder walked in. I met him in the living room.

“Can we talk?” I needed him to say yes.