Page 36 of No Rhyme or Roughing (The Golden Guardians Hockey Hearts #1)
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
RYDER
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I ran through the living room, shoving teammates aside as I chased after Teddy. He was going to murder me—and I deserved it. Sisters were supposed to be off-limits to friends.
How could I explain that I couldn’t stay away?
That the woman Sydney had become drove me absolutely mad.
Her curves on curves. The way her bottom lip quivered when she was being stubborn.
How she could be so free and confident, yet always worrying, quiet, and nervous.
It was a heady mixture that left me completely unmoored.
I found Teddy on the back deck we rarely used. Near the edge sat a fancy black propane grill that only Rowan ever touched. It was a small space, not even big enough for the hot tub Teddy always talked about wanting.
We’d been through so much together, he and I. Parent betrayals and deaths. Heartbreaks and dreams. He was my ride-or-die, the one person I trusted most in the world.
And right now, he was looking at me like he didn’t know me at all.
“I can explain.” Not the best start, but for once, I didn’t know what to say. The porch lights cast him in a ring of brightness as he crossed his arms, waiting.
“Try.” One word, spoken like a challenge.
I cleared my throat. “I’m not really sure how it started. Sydney… she…” No, this wasn’t on her. I’d wanted her. I’d pursued her. The blame was on me. “Saving the team with these videos was her idea.” I drew in a deep breath. “But I wasn’t exactly ready for it. So, she loosened me up.”
He nodded, calm but unreadable. “You definitely needed that.”
“We went skinny…” No, he didn’t want to hear that. I adjusted course. “Her methods worked. They shook something loose in me. For so long, I’ve held on to resentment for Sam and Sullivan. It took Sydney to make me realize I didn’t love Sam anymore. I just couldn’t let go.”
He nodded again, still too calm.
“Your sister…” I sighed. “Sydney is special. She made me step out of my shell?—”
“Something I’ve been working on your entire life,” he interrupted. “And she does it in a month?”
I shrugged. “I don’t really know what to say here, Ted. I know you probably hate me for this. I love you; you’re my brother. But she’s… something else to me. Something I’m not sure I want to give up, even for you.”
He stared at me for a long moment—too long. Then, slowly, he burst into laughter, bending over as he tried to catch his breath. “Oh, you poor fool.” He shook his head, laughing again. “You’re in love with her.”
I didn’t deny it. “You’re not mad?”
“No.” His laughter faded, replaced by a pitying look.
“But I do feel bad for you. The destroyer of worlds.” He sighed, his expression turning serious.
“I’ve watched my sister live her life detached from everyone.
She’ll be the first to tell you she isn’t capable of falling in love.
I hate that for her, but our parents did some serious damage.
Makes me want to wring their necks, but it’s too late now. ”
He rubbed a hand across his face. “I saw you after Sam, how you could barely manage a sliver of happiness. I’ve seen some of that coming back in recent weeks, so I hate that I have to warn you. Guard yourself. Sydney isn’t someone who stays in one place for long.”
I wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong. Sydney was different now. We were different.
But I stayed quiet because he’d just voiced my deepest fear.
Sydney wouldn’t stay.
And she’d take my newfound peace with her when she left.