Page 28 of Nevermore (A Cruel Love #1)

TWENTY-SIX

SANTIAGO

I’m pacing.

I don’t pace . It’s entirely unbecoming. Pacing implies indecision and fickleness. I’m neither of those but here I am.

Pacing.

Fuck this all.

Hudson sits on his bed, tossing a fidget between his hands as he watches me. “So, are we going to talk about it?”

I growl in his direction but don’t stop. There’s too much in my head to make sense of. I’m all… discombobulated. I fucking hate that word but there’s no other one to describe what I’m going through. I’m completely caught off-guard. I’m…

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

“Per chance there’s something on our dear friend’s mind,” Kingston drawls, looking far too amused for the situation.

“Fuck off,” I snap, finally breaking through my trance to curse him out. “You have no idea what’s going on.”

“Because you won’t tell us,” Hudson deadpans. He tosses his fidget over his shoulder and gestures at the beanbag chair in front of him. “For fuck’s sake, you’re giving me motion sickness. Sit the fuck down.”

I do so, but in protest, and slide into the chair. I squirm in the squishy seat. I’m not trying to get comfortable, I just can’t keep fucking still.

“Well?” Hudson asks as he leans forward. “Are you going to say it or are we playing twenty questions?”

“It can’t be worse than when I did the blond tips.” Kingston cringes at the memory. “Worst decision ever.”

I roll my eyes. “This is worse than your fucking hair.”

“Then what is it?” Hudson asks impatiently.

“My stepmother is…” I gulp audibly. “She’s pregnant.”

Holly is pregnant.

I will admit, I know I’m not the type of person that should care about us being stepbrothers but I do.

It goes against all decorum, all common sense, and definitely against the norm.

It’s something that could cause a scandal and put my future in jeopardy.

My father’s too. Kissing, dry humping, and all the other things we’ve done are now dirty.

But I think it’s deeper than that. Ever since my mother died, family has meant nothing to me. My father and I don’t have a warm and fuzzy relationship. We get along just fine but that’s about it. Even Reign I haven’t considered a real sibling, if anything just by legality alone. But now…

I have someone else in my family. Someone new. A life that’s inherently connected with mine. For the first time in a long time, that sense of family and belonging… it comes rushing back to me.

But at what price?

“So?” Kingston asks, completely unaffected. “What’s that got to do with anything?” Hudson reaches across his bed and smacks him on the back of the head. “The fuck? What was that for?”

“For being completely oblivious,” Hudson remarks with a scoff. “I’m honestly surprised your head hasn’t fallen off your neck at this point.”

He rubs the back of his head. “Care to explain then?”

“Santiago is obviously in love with his stepbrother.”

“Hey,” I cut in, raising my hands as I shake my head. “I think we have our wires crossed.”

“Do we?” Hudson asks, cocking his head. “You’re telling me you’re not completely whipped?”

“Whipped and in love are two different things,” Kingston points out.

“Well, he’s in love,” Hudson deadpans, staring at me. “Should I provide the evidence or are you going to own up to it?” When I say nothing, he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Okay, let’s start with the fact that you’ve actively not hung out with us so you could do things with Reign.”

“He’s a hot piece of ass,” I defend, even though saying those words causes my heart to clench. “It’s not like that.”

“So you don’t want to spend all your time with him? You’re not constantly thinking about him?” Hudson shakes his head. “You’re obsessed with the guy, Santiago. He’s become… everything to you this summer.”

“Aw,” Kingston coos. “Summer love. It’s so pedestrian.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Shut up.”

“I think our friend makes excellent points,” he throws back, brows furrowed with suspicion. “You have been more pleasant recently.”

“Because love makes us better people,” Hudson finishes. He rubs his hands on his thighs and shrugs. “Come on, Santiago. Is there any point in denying it?”

I shake my head because it can’t be true.

It isn’t. It hasn’t even been two months.

How do you fall in love with someone in that short amount of time?

How is that even possible? And this isn’t me.

Catching these sorts of feelings isn’t what I signed up for.

What I signed up for was some fun, some fucking—which hasn’t even happened—and some entertainment.

But I can’t deny that the very thought of Reign makes my heart race.

This sort of fuzziness erupts in my stomach at the sight of him.

Whenever he’s around, I can’t help the smile on my lips.

He’s… He’s perfect. With his ratty hair and horrible accent, he’s exceptional.

With his crappy piano skills and insecurity, he’s exquisite.

I realize all at once that I don’t want this to only last the summer. That I want him to be permanent where nothing else has been. That I…

That I love him.

“There we go,” Hudson mocks as my expression falls. “I think he’s got it.”

“Fuck,” I mumble, dropping my face into my hands. “How did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” he says, oddly sympathetic. “But it did. You’re goal-oriented, Santiago. Now that you know, what are you going to do about it?”

“Especially considering the baby on the way?” Kingston winces. “Doesn’t seem like an easy choice.”

No, it isn’t. But then it dawns on me. It creeps through my veins and tangles its way up my arms. It forces me to stand and ignore my friends as they question where I’m going. I have one destination in mind.

Because there was never a choice to begin with.