Page 17 of Nevermore (A Cruel Love #1)
FIFTEEN
SANTIAGO
What the fuck did I just do?
My car is going seventy miles an hour down a forty mile road. My hands tremble around the steering wheel as my choppy breaths fight for air. Every nerve inside me is buzzing—sizzling—overwhelmed by the magnitude of what just happened.
What the fuck did I just do?
Kissing Reign was never part of the plan.
It was so far removed from the plan, it wasn’t even a possibility.
Yet, there I was with my tongue shoved halfway down his throat, my hands wrapped around his lean body, and my crotch grinding against his hard length.
I can’t say I know what came over me. Something hot and carnal took over and forced me to act on baser instincts I didn’t know I had.
Instincts that led to one daunting and overwhelming conclusion.
I liked it.
Fuck liking it. I loved it. The way his tongue brushed against mine so tentatively, only to grow in confidence with each stroke. The soft press of his teeth biting into my bottom lip. The sigh of something akin to… bliss that left him. All of it has me wanting to relive it. Wanting to dream of it?—
Wanting to do it again.
But I can’t. That wasn’t the point. Using Reign as a toy—fucking with him—was only supposed to be skin deep for me. It was a way of curing my boredom and entertaining myself for the summer. How the fuck did it lead to this?
This isn’t some sort of bi-awakening. It isn’t one of those situations where I miraculously discover a part of myself I hadn’t realized I was hiding.
It’s thrown me for a loop and my usually composed self doesn’t know what to do with it.
It’s wrong on so many levels. He’s a man and he’s my stepbrother.
If anybody found out about this, it’d be the talk of the year.
The great Emiliano’s son—the chosen spawn—doing something as taboo as this is unthinkable.
Still, there’s a nagging in the back of my head that tells me I need to turn back. It’s screaming at me to go and pick up where we left off. Not only that but there’s something inside me that resembles sympathy, compassion, and kindness. Something that wants me turning back for selfless reasons.
Without thinking, I turn the wheel quickly.
I veer into the other side of the road and head back the way I came.
I know that this might be a mistake and that I should just leave him there, but I also don’t want to.
I’m so at war with these feelings. This morning I was apathetic to him but tonight…
tonight changed something. It’s so ridiculous because it was just a kiss.
I’ve kissed, I’ve groped, I’ve fucked, but I want this.
I want Reign. The ridiculous trash puppy dog that just showed up on my doorstep.
I pull into the school parking lot and stop the car. I don’t expect to see Reign already standing at the exit as I get out of the car.
I also don’t expect him to punch me square across the face.
“What the fuck was that?” he roars, rearing his fist back to go again. “You were just gonna leave me here?”
I cup my sore jaw, but I’m not angry. No, anger isn’t what I feel. I try not to think too much of it and sigh. “I came back, didn’t I?”
His eyes widen in disbelief. “Yeah. After stickin’ your tongue down my throat and runnin’ like a coward. Wanna explain that?”
I grind my teeth. It would probably be easiest to explain to Reign why I did what I did, but I don’t even know it myself. I could tell him that I loved his taste, devoured the smell of him, and craved his sweet little noises. I could just come clean and be honest.
But honesty gets nobody anywhere in life.
“It was a joke,” I say, throwing him a smirk. “It’s not my fault you enjoyed it so much.”
He takes a dangerous step forward. “ Enjoyed it. What makes you think I liked even a second of it?”
Once again, I’m playing with a fire that’ll only burn me.
I meet his steps, stand chest-to-chest with him, and stare straight into those icy blue eyes that hold so much venom.
Giving into my urges, I run a hand down his stubbled cheek, humming when his eyes flutter shut for the briefest of seconds.
“You didn’t enjoy it? What do you call this, then? ”
My hand migrates down his body. Over his chest and to his waistband, crawling even deeper until his hard length is snug in my hand. I give him a little pull, tugging him towards me, and he nearly collapses on my chest.
“See?” I taunt, rubbing him in slow circles that have his breath hitching. “You do like it.”
He shakes his head but leans into my hand. “N-No.”
“No…” I hum and use my other hand to tip his chin up and expose his slender throat. I consume his smell as my lips land on the shell of his ear. “You don’t want your stepbrother to touch you, then?”
I’m not sure which part startles him. Whether it was talking about the touching or labeling him as my stepbrother, he pulls away with a gasp. His eyes are wide and terrified as he shakes his head roughly.
“This… This is wrong,” he stutters. Backing away from me, he runs a hand through his wet hair and curses. “We… I… Stop.”
I want to push him, see how far I can test his limits, but I don’t. I’m smart and calculating enough to know when enough is enough. After everything Reign went through tonight, I think maybe adding one more thing would truly break him.
I gesture to the car silently and he follows my unspoken command. Once he’s in, I get in too and start the engine. After a second, a thought pops into my head, so strong I can’t let it go.
Why do I care?