Page 19 of Nevermore (A Cruel Love #1)

SEVENTEEN

SANTIAGO

I feel like a stalker.

Out of all the things I’ve done, this is by far the creepiest. As I stare out the third story window, looking down at the front yard, I can’t stop gawking at the sight in front of me.

A shirtless Reign mowing the lawn.

It’s absolutely idiotic that he’s doing that when he knows that we pay people for it. My father even told him that, but he insisted he wanted to do it anyway.

Idiotic.

I can already see the red spreading on the top of his shoulders, more than likely going to burn.

I wonder randomly whether or not it’ll make them stand out more, deepen in color until his shoulders are spackled with mosaic patterns.

I see the thick slick sweat going down his back and hold my breath as I imagine dragging my tongue up it.

Hmmm…

I shake my head at myself. That kiss has fucked with me.

Reign has fucked with me. What started out as a way to have fun has turned me into something I don’t recognize or like.

I’m a masochist because I’ve wanted to talk to Reign these last few days, but I’ve held back.

It’s not necessarily out of fear of him but fear of what I feel for him.

It’s so ridiculous how quickly it came on.

One day I couldn’t give a shit about him and his big blue doe eyes.

I didn’t care when he was shoved into the pool and didn’t even blink at his pain and embarrassment.

But his pathetic little exterior holds something stronger, more interesting, and now I’ve been wondering what else he’s hiding.

Is there someone under the surface itching to break free? Is there a hint of him that feels like he has to hold back? Is he even his true self?

Am I?

Once again, I scold myself for thinking that. I am who I am. I like who I am. Speaking of ‘true selves’ is a childish concept. Maybe this whole thing is useless. Reign isn’t interesting, he isn’t special, he’s absolutely nothing to me.

Then why can’t I stop looking at him?

“Hey, man. What are you doing?”

Startled, I turn and watch Hudson walk up the stairs. He gives me a confused look, but he’s smart enough to put two and two together. Looking at my guilty expression, then out the window, he sighs. “Reign? Still?”

“Not still,” I bite back with a shake of my head. “There was never anything to begin with.”

He raises a cocky brow. “And that’s why you basically claimed him and punched Kingston in the process?”

I clear my throat, feeling red blossom up my neck. “I’ll admit that was… unbecoming.”

“Unbecoming,” he snorts. Rolling his eyes, he settles next to me and shrugs. “I mean, I get it. He’s cute.”

“Shut your mouth.” I narrow my eyes at him because no one is allowed to think of Reign as ‘cute’ but me .

Possession licks up my arms, the urge to punch Hudson for his comment strong, but I hold back.

That’s just another example of the power Reign has over me.

A fucking power I didn’t realize I was giving and I never wanted to give in the first place.

He’s made me weak enough to want to cave to my baser instincts and I resent him for that.

Hudson’s eyes widen just a touch as he chuckles. “Damn, okay. I wasn’t planning on dry humping him. It was just an observation.”

I grit my teeth. “Go observe somewhere else.”

“You know it’s not so bad,” he says, ignoring my demand. “All of this.”

I cock my head in confusion. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“This.” He gestures at the window. “You catching feelings is a goddamn miracle. It really isn’t the end of the world, you know.”

“There are no feelings to catch,” I insist. “He’s my stepbrother for fuck’s sake. And even if I was interested?—”

“Which you are.”

“—which I’m not .” I glare at him. “He’s more trouble than he’s worth.”

To this, Hudson cackles. When I throw him another glare, he rolls his eyes. “You’re being dramatic. Reign isn’t any trouble and you know it. You’re just salty because someone has finally managed to catch your attention for more than two seconds.”

I can’t say he’s wrong. While I’ve had my fair share of hookups, I’ve never actually dated anyone, let alone caught feelings. It always felt so wrong. The only person I’ve ever loved is buried six feet under and it was never my intention to change that.

And none of those people could ever quiet the racing thoughts in my head. The brewing cacophony of sounds that ring on and on and on . That feeling of…

Guilt.

But the weak don’t survive. It’s survival of the fittest and everyone is out for blood.

Maybe even Reign has an ulterior motive.

While I don’t know what it is, it’s possible he’s using me for something.

That innocent act can only go so far and his rage might be more at the surface than I initially thought.

I can tell Hudson is over my shit because he sighs as he pats my back. “Whatever. You do what you always do, Santiago. Go ahead and push this one away too.” He takes a step away from me. “Are you coming to the pick up game or not?”

I glance out the window once more and does Reign actually want to torture me? He holds a bottle of water over his head, squeezing it until liquid pours all down his face and chest. His open mouth trying to catch the water is like a demonic invitation and my pants unfortunately tighten at the view.

“Fuck me,” I mutter under my breath. “Yeah, let’s go.”

I tear myself away from Reign and follow Hudson down the stairs. My bag is by the door and I’m already dressed, so we head straight to Hudson’s Jeep. As we do, we pass Reign, who’s off in his own little world as he jams out to whatever country shit song he’s playing.

So innocent. So pure.

And deep in my gut it screams?—

So mine .