Page 18 of Nevermore (A Cruel Love #1)

SIXTEEN

REIGN

This is my life now.

Staring at the ceiling above me, I let out a long drawn-out sigh.

It’s been a few days since the whole incident with Santiago, but I can’t get it out of my head.

So many things are circulating in my brain.

Thoughts I shouldn’t have keep popping up until the only thing I can do is lay in bed with a raging hard on.

Why did he kiss me?

I honestly have no clue. I have my suspicions but no concrete evidence. I think maybe he’s fucking with me—it would track—but there’s something about what happened that makes me second guess that conclusion.

Because if he was just trying to mess with my head, why did he like it so much?

And he definitely liked it. There’s no way to deny that. I felt it. His hard cock digging into my thigh through my boxers. The briefest second where it dragged across my length and I shuddered through a gasp. The worst part of all of this?—

I liked it too.

It’s throwing me in a tailspin because I’ve never been remotely interested in men.

Well, I’m not sure if I can say that. I’ve been obsessing over Santiago and how handsome he is since the day I got here.

I guess I should have seen that as a red flag.

Or green flag? I’m not too sure what to call it, but it’s confusing as fuck.

He doesn’t even like me… at least I think he doesn’t?

Now I’m not too sure of anything. All I know is that it happened, I liked it, he liked it, and now we haven’t spoken in days.

I think one of us should say something, but I’ve had a hard time thinking it should be me.

I’ve never been a fan of confrontation, so how am I supposed to tell my very regal, very hot stepbrother that I wish he would shove his tongue down my throat again?

I can’t. It’s as simple as that. So, I’ll lay here and stew until my anxiety gets so bad that I’m forced to scream or nervous-clean the already pristine mansion.

While trying to become mindless, my thoughts start to wander.

I picture Santiago and just how attractive I find him.

All the sleek lines of his face are carved out of stone, his brown eyes are smokey with hidden intentions, and his body is strong with the kind of raw masculinity I never thought I’d find so alluring.

My hand is in my pants before I can think better of it.

It’s just a tentative stroke at first as I think of the way he tasted. So clean, so misty, so completely ethereal that it caught me off-guard. He really is a god, isn’t he? Something as simple as a kiss is getting me rock hard, drawing me near the edge when I haven’t even done anything.

Now I’m picturing those lips somewhere else.

I drag my dry hand up my shaft, the friction forcing my back to arch as I picture Santiago—so high and mighty—on his knees for me.

He would be naturally good at it, wouldn’t he?

He might never have sucked a dick before but he’d somehow be an expert.

That’s just who he is. Amazing at literally everything.

He’d open his mouth and stick out his tongue, begging me to slap my cock against it until precum leaked from my tip and dripped down his throat.

He’d place those elegant hands on the top of my thighs and lean in.

He’d pant and beg until I gave in and finally eased my way into his mouth.

I jerk myself harder.

It would feel so fucking good. No one’s ever given me head before, so it would be a first for both of us, and the thought is erotic. Just two guys fumbling through an awakening. Desperate to see what makes the other tick. Eager to experience this with each other.

My hand slows to a gentle tug.

His eyes would look up at me. They’d be vulnerable and compassionate. He’d open that complicated mind to me and let me in. He’d share all those secrets he keeps and show me something other than apathy and restriction.

The thought makes the ball in my stomach tighten. It makes my toes curl. It makes my breaths come out choppy. It makes me slam my free hand over my mouth to hold back the cry I let out as rope after rope of cum lands on my bare stomach.

In the aftermath, I feel all fuzzy and floaty.

There’s the tiniest of smiles on my face as I enjoy my relaxed limbs and easy breathing.

But then it comes rushing in. My euphoria turns to mortification when I realize I just jacked off to Santiago.

Not only that but what made me come wasn’t the visual of him sucking me off. It was…

It was how good it felt to be given a part of him.