Page 34 of Never Stop

CHAPTER SEVEN

Brooke

While going through radiation, weeks passed by where Easton and I didn’t have sex. Looking back, I now realized that we didn’t do it once in those six weeks. Hell, we didn’t have sex more than that because of my surgery.

Even though I was still tired a lot of the time because I was healing, I made a point to satisfy him—or at least I thought I was. I wasn’t sure if it was because I knew he’d used to be with women nightly and I was scared he’d find someone else or that I was trying to not think of the C word. Actually, I was sure it was both, but I’d never tell Easton that.

Today was the day I’d find out about the C word. I was going in for my colonoscopy to see if there were polyps in my large intestine. Of course, if I had polyps, there was a chance they could be benign. If I didn’t have any, there was still a chance I could carry the gene. The entire situation had me going crazy. Even if I wanted to sleep the night before, I couldn’t because of the preparation. And I didn’t want to explain what happened—ever.

As I laid in bed waiting for…movement, I couldn’t sleep. I’d Googled colonoscopies and read what would happen. I’d be sedated enough to not remember the scope going in my…

Fuck my life, I already hated this procedure.

I tried to think about how my best friend was finally happy again and planning a wedding. Then I thought about my wedding and how I needed to start planning it. But then I looked over at Easton sleeping and wondered if he’d still want to marry me if I had cancer and had to go through chemo and lost all my hair.

Cheyenne had already lost her mother, and if I couldn’t fight colon cancer for whatever reason, I wouldn’t only break Easton’s heart, but hers as well. I couldn’t even imagine the pain it would cause her. I’d only been in her life for a few months, but this summer we’d gotten close. She’d watchJudge Judywith me daily and always asked if I needed anything while I laid on the couch resting.

How do you tell a ten-year-old that she may lose another mother?

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep a wink the night before my colonoscopy.

Cheyenne thought I was going to the doctor for a check-up, not to get a scope stuck up my ass, so when the time finally came to leave, I wouldn’t let her come with us. I knew I wouldn’t get the test results right then and there. However, I was going to ask the nurse once I was lucid, and if they told me they saw polyps, I was certain I would have a meltdown. Instead, we told Cheyenne that the appointment might take a while and she needed to stay with Easton’s parents. HI parents knew about everything because Easton had told them without me. I was okay with it. I was tired of telling everyone I wasfine.

Because I wasn’tfine.

I was tired of going to procedure after procedure especially with the sick and worry feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was tired of getting poked and prodded. And it didn’t get easier with all the unknowns.

Nicole was the only one who didn’t know about FAP. She was on an engagement high, and I didn’t want to take that away from her. If I had FAP, I’d tell her then. There was no sense in worrying her about it because she’d already gone through so much with the loss of her baby.

As we drove to the hospital, Easton reached for my hand. “It’s only a scope in your ass.”

My eyes shot to Easton, and I saw the smirk on his face. “Not funny,” I scolded.

He tried to stifle his laugh. “It’s kinda funny.”

I smiled, but it wasn’t able to reach my eyes. “It’s notyourass.”

“Think of it as foreplay. I actually heard about a woman who had an orgasm while getting a colonoscopy.”

“You have not!” I chuckled.

He nodded. “True story. I overheard a table at Halo talking about it.”

My eyes became huge. “Oh my God! What ifIdo?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s rare.” He laughed.

“But not impossible,” I countered.

“Well, we haven’t tested it out ourselves, but some girls enjoy anal.”

I let go of his hand and gestured for him to stop with my palms facing him. “Okay, okay. This is too much ass talk for me today.”

We were silent for a few moments, and then Easton totally did a one-eighty. “Well, Peanut’s excited for her party in a few weeks.”

“Areyou?” I snickered, enjoying the subject change.

He grabbed my hand again as he spoke. “No, I’m definitely not excited about my baby girl growing up or having twelve screaming girls under my roof for the night.”