Page 17 of Never Stop

“Do you honestly believe he doesn’t want you back?”

She stared at me again.

“Do you think that, in just four days, Avery’s going to forget about you and move on?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Why are you being so mean to me?” she asked, a frown on her face.

“It’s called tough love, Nic. You need tough love now. Two of my favorite people are hurting, and if I need to slap one upside the head so she’ll open her eyes, I will.”

“But I lost my baby, Brooke. My baby!”

“And he lost his babyandthe love of his life left him. I know it was tough—still tough. But you had a miscarriage. Women have those all the time. It doesn’t mean you can’t have children. I might… Look, why not try again? You’re not broken.”

“You might what?” Here eyebrows furrowed.

“What?”

“You said you might, and then you stopped.”

“Oh. I… I might force you to make another baby.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood and focus the subject back on her. I’d almost slipped that there might be a chance I could never—orshouldnever, have a baby of my own.

“I didn’t just have a miscarriage, B. It was a fetal demise. The baby was dead inside of me for three weeks. Three weeks!”

“I know, honey. I can’t even imagine.”

She cried on my shoulder while I held her, not saying anything. I couldn’t imagine losing a baby, but not being able to have a baby of my own was heartbreaking—I wished I could talk to her about it. It wasn’t the right time, though. She needed to get Avery back, and I needed to find out for sure if I had FAP.

“How do I get him back?” she asked.

“I’d start with a shower.” I laughed.

When I left Nicole’s parents’ house, I wanted to put the FAP thing in the back of my head. Seeing Bailee was a reunion. It was about having a good time and catching up. I didn’t want to burden her with more bad news. There was still a chance that I could be in the super rare group and not have FAP and only have had a desmoid tumor in my chest. On the other hand, if I told Bailee before I left, then she could be there when I called our mother and asked her our family history. It was easier to deal with that crazy woman in a team of two than alone.

The last I talked to my mother she wanted me to get pregnant so she could have grandkids. Her new boyfriend had grandchildren, so she wanted some, too. I haven’t heard from her since that day we spoke almost four months ago. Not once had she called to check on me during my recovery other than that one time. I wasn’t sure if she even knew I’d had radiation. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to having to call her, but Megan wanted me to in hopes she knew more about my father’s side and more about her side of the family. I wanted to wait until the genetics test came back to see if the markers showed I carried the gene.

I pulled into the garage of Bailee’s apartment complex. After grabbing my overnight bag, I made my way to the third floor and found the unit number. Even though Bailee was living in a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate, I was staying over for the weekend. We were going to have sister/sister time, and I had the desire to visit a few of my old haunts.

Before I could knock, the door swung open. “It’s about time you showed up.” It was the second time I’d heard that line today. Bailee’s arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled me to her before I could reply. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too,” I mumbled into her chocolate brown hair.

“How are you feeling?”

And there it was again. The question I was tired of answering. Of course, it was a natural question for anyone to ask since I’d just had surgery and gone through radiation, but I was tired offeelingsick.

“Fine.”

She pulled her head back and looked straight into my eyes and deep into my soul. “You know I know when you’re lying. Something’s wrong.”

I broke free from her grasp and walked out of the doorway and into her apartment, setting my bag on her couch. “I’m tired from the drive, Bai, and I just stopped at Nic’s parents’ to see her. She’s all fucked up over Avery. I’m just tired, okay?”

She closed the door. “What’s wrong with Nicole and Avery?”

“Aw fuck,” I mumbled and looked down at the beige carpeted floor.

“What?”

I took a deep breath—she was bound to find out sooner or later. My gaze met hers. “They lost the baby.”