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violet

We drive through the quiet streets of Neo’s Ohio hometown, remnants of Christmas past still on people’s lawns and front doors. Neo’s hand is warm in mine, his grip tight, as if he’s drawing strength from our connection. I can sense his mixed emotions: excitement, nostalgia, and a hint of sadness.

“There’s my old high school, Madison High,” he points out, a small smile playing on his lips. “And that’s the diner where I worked one summer. Worst job ever because I suck at customer service, but am great at milkshakes.”

“Really, you? Sucking at customer service?” I tease, squeezing his hand and smiling at his trip down memory lane. “It’s beautiful here, Neo. There are parts of it that remind me of home.”

He nods, his eyes distant for a moment. “Yeah, it’s a good place to grow up. Just... a lot of memories, you know?”

We pull up to a cozy-looking brick house with a well-tended greenery. I can imagine that in the spring and summer months, it’s probably even prettier when everything is in bloom. A statuesque woman with fair coloring and a sleek brown ponytail, who must be Neo’s mother, is waiting on the enclosed porch, her face lighting up as we approach.

“Neo!” she exclaims, her arms open wide. He rushes into her embrace, and I can see the tension leaving his body. He’s a mama’s boy. I should have known.

“Mami,” he says, his voice full of warmth.

She turns to me; her smile was just as welcoming. “And you must be Violet. I’ve heard so much about you.” She pulls me into a hug, and I feel instantly at home.

“I hope all good things.”

“What’s not good about a young woman studying to be a lawyer to save the world?”

Inside, the house is filled with the mouthwatering aroma of garlic, onion and adobe seasoning. Neo pulls me to his side, whispering. “Ooh, she’s pulling out the big guns to impress you. Mom doesn’t really cook like this anymore.”

“Shh,” I quiet him. “You’re making me nervous.”

Neo’s mom busies herself in the kitchen, and I offer to help, but she waves me off with a laugh. “You’re a guest, Violet. Sit, relax. Dinner will be ready soon.”

Neo takes me on a quick tour of the house, showing me pictures and sharing memories. There’s a warmth here, a sense of love and family, that makes me feel even closer to him. I’m moved by the picture of Jake on the wall by the staircase. He’s wearing a cap and gown and looks so much like Neo it’s eerie. Same crooked smile. Same full head of hair, albeit darker than his. And same blue eyes.

“He took these pictures the summer after junior year and never even got the chance to actually wear this cap and gown,” Neo explains as I solemnly listen.

Dinner is a feast of arroz con gandules, pernil, and plátanos. One of Neo’s favorites. It turns out to be one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life and I look forward to the day when his mom and I are close enough that she can show me how to cook it.

We eat and talk, and Ms. Major’s stories about Neo’s childhood make me laugh until my sides hurt. After dinner, Neo grows quiet, and I know it’s time to make our planned visit to Jake’s grave. Neo’s mom drives us to a well-maintained cemetery, which is about twenty minutes away at sunset in silence, each lost in our thoughts.

“I’m going to go speak to him first,” Neo tells us both and so the two of us hang back.

“I see he still refuses to drive,” his mom says to me.

“He doesn’t trust Uber drivers either. He won’t get in a car unless he knows the person and is sure they haven’t been drinking.”

“He can’t avoid driving forever.” I see a worried expression cross her face. “He hasn’t been behind the wheel since Jake died. It’s not healthy.”

“I agree, Ms. Major, but we need to give him more time. He’s been through something so traumatic. It must be scary to think about getting behind the wheel again.”

“Violet,” her head looks down. “You know that what happened with the boys was an accident, right?”

“Yes, ma’m, I know.”

“You must think I’m a horrible mother. What I did.”

“No, ma’m, not at all. You were protecting your child.”

“Neo tells me that he might have to have surgery on his hand?”

“Yes, to correct some nerve damage.”

“I’m hoping he’ll come home for it. He can rest here.”

“I’m sure the athletic department’s medical team will want to keep a close eye on him. That might be hard from Valencia City.”

“I guess that’s a good point.”

We stand in an awkward silence and watch as Neo approaches us.

“You ready to meet, Jake?” He reaches his hand out for mine.

“I’m ready.”

“Ma?”

“Let’s introduce them,” she concurs, her lips slightly quivering.

At the grave, Neo kneels, placing the colorful bouquet of roses and snapdragons his mother brought gently on the well-tended plot. “Hey, Jake,” he whispers. “I want you to meet Violet. She’s amazing. You would have made her laugh so hard with your snarky one-liners, and then I would of had to punch you in the mouth.”

Tears prick my eyes as I watch him talk to his brother, sharing news and memories of his escapades on the ice. It’s a side of Neo I’ve never seen, raw and vulnerable. When he’s finished, it’s our turn to step away so that Neo’s mom can have her private time with Jake.

“Does your father visit here too?” I ask. He’s the last piece of Neo’s family puzzle. The man I’ve seen pictures of on social media but never in person. It would be interesting to meet the man who wields so much dominance over this family.

“He doesn’t believe in visiting graves. If it were up to him, Jake would have been cremated and his ashes spread over the Scioto River. But even though we weren’t raised to be hugely religious, my mom is Catholic, and wanted him to have a proper burial. So here he is. I don’t mind it. I like that I have somewhere to visit and hope that he can hear me.”

I slide my arm around Neo’s.

“I’m sure he can.”

“And what about you, baby? How are you coping?”

“I’m still processing things. I’m not ready for gravesite visits.”

Neo nods his head in understanding. “Remember what I told you. You’ll get there, Grinch.”

When we return to the house and settle in the kitchen for dessert, Ms. Major takes Neo’s hands in hers, her eyes full of emotion. “I’m so glad you came home to visit and I’m super proud of the hard decisions you’ve made lately. You’re going to do big things in this world, sweetie.”

“Thanks, Mami.”

“Violet, Jake would have loved you,” she says softly. “Thank you for being a soft place for my boy to land. I can see it in your eyes and his, in the way you are together. You two are going to make it.”

Neo looks at me, his eyes filled with emotion. “I know, Mami. I know.”

That night, as we lie in bed in the guest room, Neo pulls me close. “Thank you for being here, for being part of this,” he whispers.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” I reply, my heart full. “But you know you can’t stay in here, right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“We are in your childhood home. You have a bedroom right down that hall.”

“And you think I’m going to sleep in it when your sweet, luscious ass is twelve feet away?”

He rubs my butt with the palm of his hand, attempting to slide a few of his fingers underneath the waistband of my jeans.

“Your mother is here!” I protest, pushing him away.

“Should I tell you about the time my mom caught me with the girl down the street when I was sixteen?”

“No, you shouldn’t.” I roll my eyes.

“She knows I have sex, Violet.” He laughs hysterically.

“Not with me she doesn’t.”

“I just want to hold you, baby,” he says in a voice as if he’s actually in pain.

“Oh, stop it.” I mock. “I’m not doing anything in here, including snuggling with you behind a closed door.”

“Damn, Grinch, you’re getting on my nerves with this whole prude act.”

“Am I? Then I’m doing my job well.”

“Okay, I give in. Let’s go to the family room, cuddle on the sofa and find something to watch on Netflix. Can we at least do that?”

I think about it for a moment and figure that should be safe enough. “Sure, I’m fine with that.”

“Put on your sleep sweats so you can get comfortable.”

“Neo,” I warn.

“No funny business. I swear. I just want you to relax. I’ve never seen you this uptight. It’s cute how you want to impress my mom.”

“Fine,” I push him out the door. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

After an hour of us watching a movie I couldn’t remember the name of if you paid me, we fall asleep on the couch in each other’s arms, the events of the day weaving us even closer together.

It was more than just a visit; it’s a sharing of souls, a merging of past and present. And when my mother visits me for the first time since she died with a peaceful smile in my dreams, I know with absolute certainty that this is where I’m supposed to be.