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violet

When we return home, it’s late and I’m exhausted. I immediately kick off my shoes and run to the bathroom because I have to pee something fierce. Whatever was in that Gamma punch is wreaking havoc with my digestive system. When I’m washing my hands, Kennedy raps lightly on the door.

“You okay?”

“Yep, I’m almost done if you need to get in here.”

I open the door after drying my hands and Kennedy’s on the other side, already in a sleep t-shirt, using a makeup wipe to clean her face.

“So are we going to talk about what I saw tonight?”

I was able to dodge any explanation about what Kennedy thinks she saw between Neo and me, convincing her to just drop it for now, so I could go to bed and sleep off the drugs, but I knew she wasn’t going to just drop it.

So here we are.

At two am in the morning.

“That was nothing,” I try gaslighting her. “Do you have another one of those makeup remover wipes?”

Kennedy goes back to her bedroom and grabs her pack of wipes. But not only does she return with them, she also has a piece of paper in her other hand.

“Really? Then what’s this, bitch?”

I shut my eyes, disappointed with myself. It’s the note that Neo left with the Christmas tree. I remember mixing it up with a pile of mail on the counter and said to myself about five different times that I would grab it and put it in a safe place, but I just never got around to it.

“I realize what this looks like.”

Kennedy’s face contorts like mine does when I’m having period cramps.

“What this looks like is I flew home for a week and when I returned, the entire world turned upside down. You’re going to get there, Grinch, and this tree is the first step. Merry Christmas? ” She reads the note with dramatic effect.

“Yeah, um, so I was going to tell you.”

“Neo Major gave you a…Christmas tree?”

“Gave us a Christmas tree,” I correct her.

“And when did he give this to us ?”

“Yeah, so, I stopped by the ice house for a second when you were gone–”

“The ice house!” she exclaims. “By yourself?”

“It was just lunch, Kennedy.”

“I thought we both agreed that you didn’t need any new friends, especially one’s living in that house.”

“You’re the one who brought me there first!”

“I didn’t think you’d go back on your own to visit the last person on earth you should be talking to. Now he’s gifting you Christmas trees and shit?” She tosses a used wipe in the air. “What the hell, Violet?”

“He felt sorry for me and we had lunch. That’s it.”

“How did the tree get here? Did you bring it home from the ice house? Was it theirs?”

“Lunch was late. By the time he walked me home the sun was down and I didn’t think I should let him walk home by himself.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“No, I’m not kidding,” I say, getting a bit irritated by this grand inquisition. I know Kennedy has strong feelings about the Suns, but I don’t owe her an explanation about my choices.

“Neo is a grown ass man. He punches people in the mouth for fun. He can definitely walk back to the house on his own.”

“Well, he seemed a little skittish about getting in an Uber so–.”

“And you fell for that?”

“I didn’t fall for anything because nothing happened. He spent the night on our couch and when I woke up, he’d left the tree outside my closed bedroom door.”

“Wait, he slept over?” Her eyes widen.

“Would you relax?”

“Think about this, Violet. Neo is the captain of the hockey team. The leader. The head fucker in charge. Any one of those guys at the house could have driven you home or picked him up.”

“I thought about that, but–”

“I leave you alone for a few days and the world has gone to complete shit.”

“Hey, I get that you’re going through some things at home with your father and Shane, but please try not to project all of that onto this situation—if you can even call this a situation.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s definitely a damn situation.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Are you still high off of that punch? He almost killed someone at the frat house tonight, and now I understand why–it’s because of you. Girl, you’re marked. Nobody with a ten-foot pole is going to touch you, much less talk to you now. He made that very clear in front of everyone. You belong to him.”

“What those Gammas did to me and probably countless other girls is a criminal act. I can understand why Neo reacted like that. He was appalled, and I appreciated somebody having my back tonight.”

“You’re not understanding. Neo doesn’t just walk around town with spare Christmas trees in between his balls, which means he called someone, probably a puck bunny, to buy that tree and bring it to our house.”

“A puck bunny?” The thought nauseates me.

“You’re marked, but not exclusively marked. You’re not…special to him.”

“That’s kind of mean to say, Kennedy.”

“I’m sorry, but he’s slept with almost all of those girls. It’s probably a rite of passage for them. The girls serving us the drinks at the kickback the other night are longtime puck bunnies. They take pride in the fact that they’ve slept with all of the upperclassmen on the team, especially if they can bag one or more of the triad.”

“The triad?” I find myself whispering.

“Neo, Shane and Bass.” She emphasizes their names. “And let me be clear, Violet, leaving you that tree was strange as fuck, even for him. But Neo Major never does anything without a well thought out, strategic reason, which is usually to his benefit. I don’t know what he wants with you, but it can’t be good.”

“Aren’t you two friends?” I ask. “Why do you think so poorly of him? Why are you saying these things?”

This conversation has really upset me considering the fact that I’ve already slept with Neo…repeatedly.

“This is not personal. You’re my roommate and now someone I would consider my friend. I’m a hockey fan who happened to have gotten to know a few of the players my freshman year because of Shane’s connection to my father’s inability to keep it in his pants. I’ve seen these boys in action and I’m warning you to stay clear of Neo. It won’t end well for you. I’ve had a front-row seat to the effect he can have on a love-struck girl. Just ask Vikki Dixon. She’ll tell you.”

“I’m not love-struck,” I say rolling my eyes. “I barely know the guy.”

“The games are one thing but I should have never taken you over the ice house. That’s my fault. Just promise me you’ll stay away from him now that you know.”

“He’s not some dangerous warlord.” I say in a weak voice. “He won’t kill me.”

“Wait.” Kennedy studies me quietly at me for a moment. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him?”

My eyes water and I don’t give her a response, but that’s all the confirmation that she needs.”

“Okay,” she takes a deep breath. “We all make mistakes but listen to me, the boy has baggage, Violet. People don’t really talk about it, but did you know that he killed his own brother?”

“That’s not true!” I protest, tears streaming down my face. “A drunk driver killed his brother.”

“Girl, that’s the half-truth his parents told the media to save his hockey career, but the gossip is that Neo was driving the car, not Jake. My guess is that he was the one who made some sort of driving error that night. Ran them both right into a guardrail and they spun out. I’ve often wondered if that’s why he doesn’t drink. Maybe he was drunk that night and?—”

“Stop.”

“Violet.”

“Just stop, Kennedy.” I raise my hand in a stop motion. “I don’t want to hear any more of your theories about Neo and his brother or your stories about the team. I have a headache and I just want to go to bed and pretend that I didn’t have the shittiest New Year’s Eve of my life.”

Kennedy’s face drops.

“And just so we’re clear,” I tell her. “I don’t need you giving me anymore unsolicited advice about who I choose to spend my time with. I had a mother, and she’s gone. I’m sorry if I gave you the idea that it was now your job.”

When I slide into bed underneath the freshly washed sheets I put on before we left for the party, completely spent from the night’s rollercoaster of emotions, I decide to do the one thing I can control and text Elijah.

Me: Let’s breakup