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neo

I sit in interim Head Coach Mike’s office, the familiar scent of leather and recent victories hanging in the air. The walls are a testament to the recent glories of our team, adorned with framed jerseys and team photos. I’m here, feeling a mix of anticipation and anxiety, as Coach Mike leans back in his chair, his expression serious yet sympathetic.

“Neo, I’ve been in talks with your father and some scouts from the NHL. They’re impressed with you, really impressed,” Coach Mike begins, his gaze fixed on me.

My heart pounds in my chest. This is the moment I’ve dreamed about, but now that it’s here, it feels overwhelming, almost surreal.

“Who’s interested?” I ask with bated breath.

“The Golden Knights, The Devils and The Maple Leafs,” he says proudly. “All impressive teams looking for the next great center. All solid offers.”

“My dad didn’t mention any of this. I spoke to him on Christmas.”

“It was important to me and Coach Dixon that we fielded your offers and told you about them first. We know how well-meaning parents can be, and I’m not saying your father would get in the way, but we just want to make sure that you examine all your options on your own before talking it over with your family.”

I feel the pressure of my father’s expectations like a physical weight on my shoulders, pressing down on me as I sit in the chair opposite Coach. My fingers trace the grooves in the wood of the armrest, worn smooth from years of use.

“Who offered the best deal?”

“The Knights came strong. They definitely are big in supporting local players and they’d prefer a college Vegas star to stay in Vegas,” he continues. “They want you now and the deal would close at about 12 million.”

Coach’s words hit me like a tidal wave.

A chance to go pro early?

Twelve million dollars?

“And the other offers?”

“A little under ten million, but still substantial money. I really like the coach up in Toronto too. I’ve worked with him before, when we were both in Seattle.

But as much as I want this, a part of me recoils. “I... I don’t know if I’m ready to leave,” I find myself saying.

I fiddle with the band of my practice jersey and it feels soft and worn under my fingertips, a symbol of the brotherhood we’ve formed since freshman year. There’s the team and the championship we’ve been striving for. We made a pact.

And then there’s Violet.

Coach Mike nods, understanding the conflict inside me. “I get it. It’s a big decision. Your father, of course, is all for you going pro early, thinks it’s a golden opportunity.”

My father, always the driving force, always pushing for more. The pressure to live up to his expectations has always been a constant in my life. He’s never said it out loud, but in some ways I believe my father thinks I owe him this career. He blames me for everything I’ve taken from him and holds me responsible for what happened to Jake. It’s a terrible burden to bear and maybe I do owe my family something, but now there’s Violet to consider, the girl who unexpectedly stormed into my heart, changing everything.

“What’s weighing on your heart, son?” Coach asks.

“There are other things to consider than just money,” I admit, the words heavy with emotion. “There are people here at school who I don’t just want to leave behind.”

Coach Mike’s expression softens. “I understand, Neo. This isn’t just about hockey. It’s about your life, your future, but I don’t think you need to worry too much about your teammates, especially Shane and Bass. Based on their stats lately, they’re going to get their opportunities too. You’re not leaving them behind if you decide to go pro now…just a little early.”

The NHL has been my dream since I was a kid and I look down at my hands, feeling torn. Coach thinks I’m struggling with leaving the guys behind, and while that is part of it, there is someone else who I believe may mean just as much to me as they do, and with time, probably much more.

“There’s someone else I’m thinking about as well.”

“Someone else?”

“A girl.” If this was Coach Dixon for obvious reasons I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about this, but I can definitely confide in Coach Mike. “Her name is Violet.”

“And you don’t want to leave her behind either?”

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

“It’s very new, but I’d say it’s serious.”

My bum hand twitches with nervous energy, my palms sweaty as I tell someone out loud how I feel about Violet for the first time.

“How’s that hand feeling?” Coach asks, noticing the spasms I can usually hide from most.

“It’s coming along,” I bullshit. “I think the physical therapy is helping.”

“There will be a physical exam required by any team you sign with. You aren’t going to be able to hide what’s going on forever. The Suns are happy to have you here, twitchy hand and all, but for millions of dollars the NHL is going to want guarantees.”

“I know.”

“It’s time you think long and hard about the surgery before it isn’t even an option anymore.”

I give a heavy sigh because Coach knows full well that I don’t want to go under the knife.

“If it’s meant to heal, it will heal.”

Coach’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “No disrespect, son, but that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re not destined for healing. You’ve got to go seek it.”

“Yes, Coach.”

“Now I know it’s a big decision, Neo,” Coach says gently. “But whatever you choose, know that I’m behind you. You’ve got to do what’s right for you. It’s simply my job to let you know the offers are there.”

He pulls a file folder containing several papers, each pile representative of the teams’ offers, and hands it to me.

“Here are the official offers. There’s no rush. Read them over. Talk to your parents. I can even arrange for you to have conversations with the head coaches from each team. Honestly, I advise talking to them more than once and visiting the teams at their home stadiums. Go to a practice. Get a feel for the culture of the locker room. That’s how you’ll really know where you belong.”

I stand up, feeling a sense of gratitude for Coach Mike. He’s always been a straight shooter with me.

“Thanks, Coach,” I say. “I’ll need some time to think.”

“Take all the time you need,” he replies, standing up with me. “And remember, whatever path you choose, make sure it’s the one that makes you happy. You can’t live your life for anybody else.”

We shake hands, and as I leave the office; the decision weighs heavily on me. The future I’ve always dreamed of is right there for the taking. The choice isn’t going to be easy, but it’s mine to make.

“Oh, and Neo, I put another copy of the surgical referral in there, too. At the very least, you can get a consultation. It won’t affect any of your offers. All they’ll see is a young man serious about his health and game readiness.”

“Okay.”

During my walk back to the ice house, I think hard about everything Coach has said today. The house is bustling with energy as my teammates get ready for a long practice today. We’re gearing up for our next game with the Chiefs.

Shane pulls me to the side while he makes a turkey sandwich. “What did Coach want?” He asks. “Was it serious?”

He spreads entirely too much mayonnaise on the roll he’s using.

“Not especially.” I don’t want to discuss the offers right now, even with Shane. I want to keep them to myself until I’ve decided.

“What did I miss on New Year’s? Everyone’s talking about the kid you mopped the floor with.”

“Slice those tomatoes thinner,” I tell him. “You make a horrible sandwich.”

“Fuck the sandwich, bro’, what happened at the Gamma house?”

Bass walks in and sits at the counter right in between the two of us, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“Violet happened.”