Page 9 of Nearly Roadkill: Queer Love on the Run

Yeah, right. But if you want to go outside the lines, you have to wait forever.

So most people just stick with what they’ve got and don’t explore.

Which I think is the point. Old Net users are furious, the ones who started it some time in the ’70s, when it was an exclusive Pentagon and MIT system.

But they seem to agree that at least the traffic won’t be as bad in the areas they’re in, cuz nobody knows how to get there.

Oh, got some email this morning. Scratch thinks too much.

To: Toobe

From: Scratch

Subj: Not gonna

Hey pal, option means option. I’m not Registering for the same reason I don’t have a driver’s license.

I don’t need paper to travel around, especially on the Net.

I can’t even get past the first few questions on that sign-up thing (like “Sex”) they have.

I tried to fill in “Yes,” but it will only take one answer or the other.

I tried to write “N” for neither but it wouldn’t take that either. Look at this #@!* you can’t go to the next question unless you fill it out right.

That’s scary, Toobers. I mean, there isn’t even a human to argue with.

—S.

Here’s a small part of the form. Ever since Scratch and Winc have been talking to me I can’t look at it without seeing what they mean.

Registration Information

Name:

Credit Card #:

Sex:

Social Security #:

Income Level (round off to nearest ten thousand):

Address:

Phone:

Age:

Spouse’s Name:

Spouse’s Work Phone:

Ethnicity (choose one): Caucasian/Black/Hispanic/Asian/Other

Sexual Orientation (choose one): Heterosexual/Homosexual

Number of Children, and Their Ages:

Computer:

Occupation:

Employer’s Name:

Work Phone Number:

Number of People in the Household:

Names of Other Residents:

Brands:

(Registrants must fill out the Product Survey Questions 1–125.)

That isn’t even all of it! Doesn’t that seem a little weird?

That’s a lot of info; where’s it going? There’s more on the form, like what kinds of toothpaste I use, how much I watch TV.

It took me almost an hour to finish the whole thing.

If I try to skip a question, it says I haven’t completely filled out the form.

I emailed Jabba again, and she said to put fake answers in as many boxes as I can. I wonder if she’s Registered.

I’m trying to understand Winc’s thing about losing your gender.

Or rather, choosing it. Consciously. Ze sez everybody’s obsessed with guessing what people really are behind their screen names.

Ze sez ze’s found, without exception, that once people’s covers are blown, they can’t seem to keep going with the fantasy-persona.

They revert back to their real identity and get self-conscious.

Winc saves some samples under the entry: “A perfectly good conversation ruined by gender.” Hah! Ze says they’ll be funny in the future.

END TOOBE ENTRY

WINC JOURNAL ENTRY

Playing with these guys is so fun!

Private Message to Winc

Daisy: Hello.

Winc: Hello yourself, whassup?

Daisy: Just looking to get off. I’m slowly hiking my skirt.

Annnnnnd, there’s your first clue. When they talk about getting off, that’s pretty much it.

Winc: ::slowly lifting aviators off my eyes to see you better::

Daisy: ::slowly pursing my lips::

Winc: ::twirling the stem of my sunglasses on my tongue::

Daisy: ::panties at my ankles:: ::wishing u were under my desk::

And that would be clue number two.

Winc: ::chuckling:: If anyone is gonna be under anything, darlin’, it’s you. Keep talkin’.

System will go offline in 30 minutes for maintenance.

Private Message to Daisy

Winc: hmmmm… we have thirty minutes. Want to go to a private room?

Daisy: Yes. Which one?

Winc: ::slow smile:: What place would be the most embarrassing for you to have sex in?

I thought that was a way good question; it embarrassed me just to read it.

Private Message to Winc

Daisy: My grandparents’ room…

Winc: ::nodding approvingly:: Good girl. I’ll be in private room called Grandparents Rm.

Daisy: ::getting wet::

Winc: Tell me… what kind of sex or position would be most embarrassing for you?

Daisy: I like it all, baby…

Winc: That’s not what I asked.

Daisy: My ass.

Winc: What about your ass?

Daisy: I like only certain things there.

Winc: What *wouldn’t* you like?

Daisy: Thick dicks.

And the clues just keep on dropping.

Winc: ::laughing softly:: I think you’re a guy. It doesn’t really matter, OK? But I appreciate a good acting job, and there are some flaws in yours, that’s all.

Online Host

*** You are in room “Grandparents Rm” ***

System going down in 20 minutes=

Daisy has entered the room.

Winc: ::tapping my foot:: you kept me waiting. ::walking over to you slowly::

Daisy: ::shrugging:: Sorry.

Winc: ::purring:: Don’t move… wanna look at you. Lift your skirt for me.

Daisy: ::wanting to touch you::

Winc: ::smiling, sensing your needs::

Daisy: Here you go baby slowly.

Winc: ::taking your chin in my hand::

Winc: ::shaking my head::

Winc: No… I’ll tell *you* where we’re going, right?

Daisy: Don’t have a skirt, I like it nasty.

Calling Continuity! “Her” skirt was on and last seen as hiked.

Winc: ::laughing:: Describe this room for me.

Daisy: Which one?

Winc: Your grandparents’ room.

Daisy: Lots of old dressers, six-shooters, a trunk, family portraits staring at u.

Winc: mmmmmm… nice. ::taking you in my arms:: ::leaning you back, kissing you hard on the mouth::

Daisy: ::slowly using one finger right now:: What are you wearing?

Winc: ::suddenly letting you go, walking to the other side of the room:: ::lighting a cigarette, staring at you:: So, who are you? Describe yourself to me. ::inhaling slowly… eyes never leaving you::

Daisy: 5’8, 34-24-34, aerobics instructor, firm ass, great tits and love to play.*

Winc: ::blinking:: I see. ::blowing smoke rings:: And… a guy?

It’s OK with me if you are… I’m just curious.

Daisy: Nope I’m legit.

Daisy: Are you?

Winc: ::chuckling:: Like I said, it’s OK if you’re a gal or a guy… cybersex is cool either way, but you come across as a guy. Am I what?

Daisy: I’m asking you, are you a guy.

Winc: ::laughing:: nope… not this lifetime.

Daisy: lol.

Winc: Where are you on your cycle?

Daisy: Nope. Are you?

Yep, that was his undoing.

Winc: ::chuckling:: Reread my question. It wasn’t a yes or no.

Daisy: No.

Winc: ::softly:: no… what? What do you think I’m asking?

Daisy: YOU ASKING IF IT’S MY TIME OF THE MONTH RIGHT. If not I’m lost.

Winc: ::shaking my head:: You’re lost.

S?s??? ????? ???? ?? 10 ??????s

Winc: I asked *where* on your cycle you are, not if you’re bleeding.

::glancing down:: I’m bleeding now, though. Just curious where on your cycle you are.

Daisy: 2nd week.

Winc: ::blinking:: You’re a guy. ::running a finger up inside me, then licking my blood off my finger::

Daisy: OK, how figure?

Winc: ::smiling:: First off, no woman I know knows her measurements. Or if they do, they don’t give them out.

Daisy: Got it flaunt it baby.

Winc: ::shaking my head:: nope… men do that. ::leaning back, watching you::

Daisy: Us Californians are like that…

Winc: Do you like being a woman online?

Daisy: We think we have it all.

Winc: ::shaking my head:: you forget, I’m from California too.

Daisy: I know. Read your profile.

Winc: Women *know* they don’t have it all, darlin’.

Daisy: This one does.

Winc: ::mild applause::

Daisy: How’s that finger?

Winc: ::sniffing:: Nice.

S?s??? ????? ???? ?? 5 ??????s

Daisy: You think you know it all, hon.

Winc: ::laughing:: I know I don’t!

Winc: System’s gonna go down any minute. Sigh. Wish you’d open up a bit.

Daisy: OK, OK, I’m a guy, happy?

Winc: ::nodding:: Yep. ::softly:: Thank you so much. Really. ::leaning forward, kissing you gently::

Daisy: You’re god.

Daisy: Whoops, I mean good.

Winc: ::laughing:: nice slip there, mister.

::wrapping my arms around your neck::

Ohhhh, I could make you a pretty girl.

Winc: Still there?

Daisy: Guess my age.

Winc: You really want me to?

Daisy: Yeah.

Winc: 20. 21? Too young for me, if I’m honest.

Daisy: No.

Winc: ::laughing:: then ya got me!

Daisy: 19. Close enough, I guess.

Daisy: What do you mean, make me a pretty girl?

S?s??? ????? ???? ?? 2 ??????s

Winc: ::smiling:: you’re very sweet… Thank you for being honest with me. And since you’re still a kid I’ll just give you a huge hug.

Daisy: How come all the ladies can tell I’m a guy?

Winc: ::smiling:: We just run into so many guys being girls, it gets easy…

Daisy: I’m really known as “dabug” onscreen.

Winc: In the future, don’t put all the emphasis on sex, rather, get to know people. That’s what girlz do…

::grin::

LOL

Daisy: Steven Langley from Madison.

Winc: Pleased to meet you, Steven.

My name is in fact ::grin:: Winc.

Daisy: Okay here’s one for you, Winc

Daisy: Bet you think I’m white, don’t you

Daisy: Hey Winc, cat got your tongue?

Winc: No, no omigosh. Yes, I’ve been thinking—Oh man, I’ve been *assuming* you’re white. Ummmm…?

Daisy: Why thanks for asking. Nope I’m Black but people online think I’m white until I tell ’em, if I ever do.

Winc: Whoa.

Daisy: Yeah, so maybe next time don’t assume. Hah hah. Bye, Winc.

S?s??? ???s???, ??? ??????? ??????????

Nice diversion on a Sunday afternoon. Glad things didn’t escalate—no minors for me. Poor li’l guy, trying so hard!

END WINC JOURNAL ENTRY

To: Drew

From: T. Sparrow