Page 38 of Nearly Roadkill: Queer Love on the Run
To: Editor at They/Them magazine
From: D.I. Drew
Subject: Coupla notes
Cheers,
D.I. Drew
FILE UNDER: MISC. COMMUNICATIONS
To: Winc
From: Scratch
Subj: Invites
I don’t know if you’ve been getting mail, but mine is full of offers. They usually make my skin crawl, but I kind of liked this one. What do you think?
To: Scratch
Cc: Winc
From: Coalition of LGB Folks
Subj: Help us?
What you’re doing is very important. We’ve noticed that you refuse to say exactly what sex you are, and that makes us believe that you believe your sex is outlawed. If that’s the case, we are your family.
As a coalition of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, we know how it feels to be marginalized. We have all had to deal with issues of sexuality in our lives, and we think it would be terrific if you could publicly announce that you identify as one of us.
There are so few role models for us, and now that you have everybody’s attention, we think it would be wonderful if you could come out and give the movement a shot in the arm. It would mean so much, especially to all our youth.
(signed by all members—LGB Coalition)
What say you? I’m kind of mixed. I could call myself queer, not being your average Straight Amerikan, but I’m seeing that nobody much is.
—S.
To: Scratch
From: Winc
Subj: The Coalition
I got one too. It rang true. Wouldn’t it be kind of exciting to help?
Let’s find out more! Like which letter applies to us!
—W.
To: Winc
From: Scratch
Subj: Hermit crab
Whoa. Stop. Never mind. I don’t think I want to do that.
I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t do groups well.
People’s IQ levels drop when they’re all together in a room.
Something about processing one idea until every member gets it or something.
Then they’ll start writing manifestos to sign, and I’ll object to maybe one little sentence, and then they’ll have to discuss *that* and then send it back to us…
signed off by six people. ::throwing up hands:: Then one of us will be wearing a fragrance somebody’s allergic to, or someone will say they can’t abide flash cameras because somebody has epilepsy, and they’ll have to vote about whether we can attend or not, etc.
Let’s just write them a long letter saying thanks but no thanks.
—S.
PS—Well I claim L for lesbian, or maybe B for butch. Kidding. I guess you can too. At least sometimes you can. ::laughing, ducking::
To: Scratch
From: Winc
Subj: Yes indeed you are
Oh, I hadn’t noticed that about groups, but you’re probably right. But I think we might be having an impact. Maybe we *are* in a position to do something.
—W.
PS—I want my own letter. T… for transgender… would do.
To: Winc
From: Scratch
Subj: (Nice to talk again)
Do something about what?
—S.
PS—I wish there were a letter we could both claim.
To: Scratch
From: Winc
Subj: (Yes, indeed it is)
People are getting pissed off, have you noticed? This week I got letters from Star Trek clubs, a disability rights organization, the right to bear arms people, and a million others. They all think we’re role models!!
If we seem to speak to all those people, maybe we *should*!
—W.
PS—New letter. Yes.
To: Winc
From: Scratch
Subj: (Oh, good)
I got letters from the Rainbow Coalition, the Latina Hermanas group, on and on and on.
What do you mean, speak to people? What would we say?
Let’s go chat.
—S.
To: Scratch
From: Winc
Subj: Armed rooms
Meet me in room Arms.
—W.
*** You are in room “Arms” ***
Winc: See what I mean? Maybe we didn’t intend it, but we stand for something.
Scratch: ::waving hand impatiently:: People are bored. We’re just the latest thing to hit the charts.
Winc: I don’t think so. And while I respect your cynicism, *I* think you secretly hope something will come out of this.
Scratch: Come out of this? What do you know about what I secretly think?
Winc: ::hiding a smile:: You’re sputtering. It’s a sure sign I’ve hit a nerve.
Scratch: ^&*(()#@!
Winc: Uh huh.
Scratch: OK, so I hope they all fucking turn off their computers, stop buying stuff, and refuse to Register. What’s so bad about that?
Winc: ::laughing:: Nothing. What do you mean turn off their computers?
Scratch: Ghandi’s idea: Home Rule. If we stop using the damn things, they’ll have to stop with the invasions. What’s driving them anyway? Moneylust. Never mind how much they’re getting already, they always want more.
Winc: They?
Scratch: Same old They.
Winc: I think it’s a different They this time, dear.
Scratch: Government, advertisers, online providers—all They to me.
Do you think They make any distinctions about different kinds of users? Like this group is white females or that one is Black disableds or whatever?
Winc: I suppose not.
Scratch: They look at money. Not whether we have it, but whether we’ll spend it. Poor folks get more marketing shit leveled at them than anyone else.
Winc: But the govt says this is about porn trafficking or hurting innocent children.
Scratch: Still comes down to $.
Winc: ::thinking:: When we refused to Register, and then other people didn’t either, ACI swarmed all over all of us, and so did the feds.
Scratch: Right!
Winc: Tell me, why *didn’t* you Register?
Scratch: Oh, well. ::heavy sigh:: I don’t do connectivity well.
Winc: Connectivity? You’re all about connectivity. I for one can vouch for your limber and lubricated connectivity.
Scratch: Oh not that! But thank you. No, I mean: driver’s licenses, traffic tickets, library cards, memberships, taxes. I might build a whole philosophy out of resistance, but the truth is…
Winc: ::still listening::
Scratch: That’s it. No big philosophy. No noble reasons.
Winc: ::covering my mouth::
Scratch: I knew you’d laugh. And you? Why didn’t *you* Register?
Winc: Kind of similar. Nothing noble.
Scratch: Yeah?
Winc: Third question in the Reg form. Sex:_________.
Scratch: ::blinking:: Why not just put female? Or whatever you wanted?
Winc: It’s not that easy. I’m still male on my driver’s license, birth certificate, etc.
Scratch: Oh. Come to think of it, that’s about where I gave up, too.
Winc: I take it you don’t want to be the Coalition spokesperson.
Scratch: I’d fuck it up.
Winc: But I think your other idea is good.
Scratch: Which one?
Winc: The strike.
Scratch: Oh, that was just an example.
Private Message to Winc
Toobe: Orlio is going to send me stuff from The Rally!
Winc: You’re not risking going are you????
Toobe: ::snort:: I’d be nabbed. Gotta be careful.
Winc: Okay cool. Whew!
Winc: No, I mean it, we should strike.
Scratch: Yeah, right. How would we get everybody to do it?
Winc: ::looking at my mailbox, looking at yours:: I think we could get the word out.
Scratch: Email them all?
Winc: Email a few, word will spread.
Scratch: You have a lot of confidence in our popularity.
Winc: Scratch, I think I understand you a little better now. You don’t stay in touch with the world a whole lot, right?
Scratch: Well, sometimes. Some people. Some groups.
Winc: Right, well, at present they’re staying way in touch with you. And me.
Scratch: ::thinking::
Private Message to Toobe
Gwynyth: Young man, hast thou not been online a mite too long?
Toobe: Just a little longer? Please?
Gwynyth: Hmm. I’ll have to readjust some spells. OK, but *you* change the litter boxes tonight.
Toobe: ::groaning:: It’s a deal.
Winc: So tell everyone we don’t think the Reg process is fair, it only reduces who we want to be, who we *can* be, blah blah, and then see if everybody wants to join in.
Scratch: What if it doesn’t work?
Winc: Then it doesn’t work. Can’t hurt! Just ask everybody to stop using their computers for a day?
Scratch: ::excitedly:: They should say something before they sign off. Something about themselves, about who they really are. Some true thing, not about what they buy or what kind of B.O. they have.
Winc: Yes. YesYesYes
Scratch: Let’s tell this LGB Coalition first. They’d get it.
Winc: Perfect! You want to write the letter?
Scratch: OK. Who *you* gonna tell?
Winc: Well, I think I get this software/hardware thing better than you, no offense.
Scratch: Oh, no, it’s true. You know everything!
Winc: ::laughing:: Non non, darling.
Scratch: You do!
Winc: So I can write an announcement from both of us, and send it all around the world.
Scratch: Wow. ::shyly:: Do you really think anyone would give a damn?
Winc: Scratch, I have six letters from CBS News alone in my mailbox.
Scratch: Hmm, so do I. I thought it was advertisement offers.
Winc: From a news program?
Scratch: Oh.
Private Message to Winc
Toobe: Orlio’s at The Rally! Hundreds of people there!
Winc: Yikes!
Winc: For very real connectivity reasons, are you Windows or Mac? I’m on an old Mac Classic. You?
Scratch: You’re going to laugh again.
Winc: No, I promise I won’t. Tell me.
Scratch: I use a Tandy, an old one from Radio Shack. It’s a laptop, but they weren’t even called that then.
Winc: When?
Scratch: Oh, 1988–89, when they were invented.
Winc: Don’t tell me it’s the kind that uses disks for all the programs. No hard drive? *That* one?
Scratch: That’s the one.
Winc: :X
Scratch: You said you wouldn’t laugh.
Winc: Not laughing! It’s sweet! How did Gwynyth set you up with all the bypasses then?
Scratch: Why do you think it took so long? She treated me like some fossil in a museum!
Winc: Scratch?
Scratch: Yes?
Winc: I love you.
Scratch: ::ducking head:: I… love you too. I’ve missed you.
Winc: Me too, you. Let’s just move on. OK?
Scratch: ::setting jaw:: OK.
Winc: Besides, ::tossing hair:: we have a cause!
Scratch: We do?
Winc: ::tapping my foot::
Scratch: Oh, right, we do! OK, off to write letters!
Winc: Goodbye, sweetie.
Scratch: Bye!
END MISC. COMMUNICATIONS
NARRATIVE ENTRY, JABBATHEHUT