Page 116 of My So-Called Perfect Life

Iwonder how much it would hurt if I pulled on his piercing—and not in the teasing way that makes him groan. No, I don’t want to hurt him. But he’d better not be up there, groaning for some other woman.

And, if he is, he’s not going to get very far.

Desperation wrestles my anger down in my mind, and I pull my arm from Amelia and head toward the stairs. “I plan to stop it.”

Amelia tries to block me as I hit the stairs. “Danielle, you’re insane. Do not go up there.”

My mind flits back to the night Ryan and I spent up there. Where it all began for us. Too many different scenarios of what could be going on behind that door invade my brain. There’s no choice. I need to know. “I have to.”

My heart pounds in my chest like a caged animal trying to get out. I might be insane, but I also could be right on time to stop this before it’s too late. Or at the very least, I’ll get to finish it once and for all.

A wave of doubt crashes over me as I reach the top of the metal stairs and hit the landing.

What the hell am I doing?

Are you sure you want to do this? What’s behind that door could crush you. Are you stupid? The guy hasn’t made a move to see you in a month. Of course he’s screwing other girls.

My bravado wanes as my emotions switch gears. The desperation surging through me moments ago gives way to the anger as I think about Ryan stringing me along while he’s out being Mr. Fun again.

I hear athumpbehind the door, and the urge to scream consumes me. I want to yell and curse at him at the top of my lungs, but I’m frozen.

Maybe I’m just a magnet for unfaithful men. Maybe I’m not good enough to keep a man happy.

My inner bad chick rears her head, yelling over all the commotion in my head.You are more than enough to keep the right man happy, girl. You brought that man’s fantasies to life. Don’t let him extinguish your fire.

I glance back down at my sister at the bottom of the stairs. She looks nervous and unsure.

But my inner bitch is still screaming.Knock on that door and get your man or stand up to him and tell him he can kiss your ass.

The metal of the door is cool under my fist, opposite of the lightning storm combusting inside me.

“RYAN!”

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Ryan

“How long has she beenhere?” Evan asks as he approaches the bar, scanning the room for Cara.

“About an hour,” I tell him and then nod toward the restrooms. “She went to the ladies’ room.”

“Drunk?” he asks.

“Yeah.” I nod. “She’s not belligerent or anything, but she’s not making too much sense to me. Something about holidays and Spencer ripping apart her family.”

Evan sighs as if this all makes perfect sense to him. It probably does, honestly. He and Cara are very close.

“The custody agreement was finalized today. He gets every weekend, and they have to split the holidays. She was upset, thinking about how she has to share the kids on Christmas and other holidays and it’s not fair. I think it’s all finally hitting her. Harder than she expected. I knew it was all going to come to a head but didn’t know when. Guess it’s time.”

Cara is a sweetheart. Always has been. She’s five years older than us and always watched out for Evan and then me. Seeing her in so much pain is hard.

She comes out of the restroom and smiles at Evan. “Hi, baby bro.”

“Hi, sis.” He pulls her into a hug. “Where are the girls?”

She takes a seat at the bar and goes back to her Long Island Iced Tea. “With Mom.”

Evan sits next to her, and I turn my attention back to game seven of the World Series. The Dodgers are only two innings away from winning this game and securing my childhood dream of watching them win the title. Since I’ve been alive, the Dodgers have never won the World Series. The last two years, they’ve made it to the championships but only to lose.