Page 74 of My Fault

“Hey guys, we’re going!” my mother shouted. Nicholas waved, looking completely relaxed. I had to take a few deep breaths before looking up. “Did you tell her, Nick?”

“Not yet!” he called back to her, clearly amused.

“Okay. Well, we’ll talk later. Have fun!” she said.

I turned to Nick as she walked back inside.

“Tell me what?”

He pulled me back toward him. I didn’t struggle: I didn’t have the strength to, and I didn’t want to miss out on that feast for the eyes.

“They gave me four tickets to the Bahamas for my birthday. They made it pretty clear they want you to come along, you know, to help us develop our relationship as siblings.” He grinned maliciously. “I’ve invited Jenna and Lion, and I want you to come, too.”

I could hardly believe it, especially after our previous conversations. Going on vacation with Nick… I could tell he was observing my reaction.

“What happened to us just being friends?” I asked. I wanted to know what had made him change his mind.

“That’s still on the table…especially now, when you’re in danger and it’s my fault.”

“That’s why you want to take me? To keep me safe from Ronnie?” If that was the real motive, I was disappointed.

He pursed his lips.

“That’sonereason, but not the primary one, Freckles.”

He leaned his forehead into mine.

“Nicholas, what are we doing?”

“Don’t flip out, okay?” He grabbed my waist as I started to sink. “I don’t want you here when I’m not around. I said that yesterday, and I meant it. You could wind up hurt.”

“Nicholas…” That stung, and I tried to turn away from him, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Come! We’ll have fun,” he said, kissing me again on the lips. The sweetness of that gesture made me shudder.

“What about us, though?” I replied. I couldn’t help but think what might happen if our parents found out. “I can’t do this with you. It’s absurd, we don’t even get along, we’re just letting our physical attraction get the better of us—”

“All I know is when I see you, the only thing I can think about is touching you and kissing you all over,” he said, planting his lips just below my earlobe.

“I can’t be with anyone right now,” I said, pushing him away. He looked mad.

“Who said anything aboutbeingwith anybody? Stop analyzing everything and just enjoy it. This is going to be fun.”

I could tell he wasn’t being straight with me—he had to want something more—but then again, this was Nick; he used girls and threw him aside. He had to just want me for my body. What else could it be? And if I wanted him for the same reason, why should I forgo the pleasure?

“Fine, but there are conditions,” I said. “No tying anyone down, no arguments. I just got out of a relationship, and the last thing I want is to relive what happened with Dan.”

“Are you saying you want an open relationship?” he asked. “I think you’re the first woman I’ve ever known who’s asked for that, but whatever. Just sex then?”

His eyes were cold. I didn’t like that remark one bit.

“Jerkoff!” I insulted him. “What do you mean, just sex? Whodo you think I am? I’m seventeen, not twenty-seven. I’m not going to just up and sleep with you!”

Baffled, he responded, “You just told me you want an open relationship. What the hell do you think that means?”

I was lost. In my world, an open relationship meant you made out sometimes and that was basically what we were doing. But then again, Nick had been around the block multiple times. Compared to him, I was just a girl; I couldn’t play in his league. Nicholas wasn’t going to be happy with a little bit; he’d want to go all the way. I’d have known that if I’d thought over the past three weeks clearly. In that brief time, I’d gone way further with him than I had with Dan.

“Forget about it,” I said, feeling I was playing at a disadvantage. He was fire, and I didn’t want to get burned. “I like this new relationship we have. I even feel like we can start to get along. Why would I want to mess that up?”