Page 27 of My Fault

Twenty minutes later, I was at her door. Anna was the perfect cover-up for what would be happening that night. She was the daughter of one of the most important bankers in Los Angeles, and our fathers had known each other since college. Anna had grown up torturing me as she matured, and I had thrown myself at her feet when I was a kid and had no idea how to treat a woman.

We’d learned together, and we both knew what the other liked. Plus, she never got out of line and never asked for explanations.

When she came and opened the door, I dragged her off to her room.

“What are you doing?” she asked when I locked the door and wrapped my arms around her.

“It’s called fucking. You might have heard of it,” I responded as I threw her on the bed.

She smiled and pulled her dress up provocatively. Unlike Noah, she wore her hair down, and her dress was so short I didn’t have to work hard to get to what I was interested in.

“We’ll be late,” she complained, bringing her face close to mine and kissing me on the mouth.

“You know I don’t give a shit,” I said, taking her to ecstasy just as I found the calm I’d needed ever since that witch with freckles had first come into my life.

Fifteen minutes later, I was adjusting my tie and lighting a cigarette on Anna’s balcony.

She walked up beside me, her dress now back in place, hair combed, lips swollen from kissing.

“How do I look?” she said, pressing her body into mine.

I examined her. She was hot. Her body was hot. Her hair was dark brown, just like her eyes. I’d never gotten why Anna didn’t have a real boyfriend—she could have had anyone she wanted, and yet there she was, wasting time with a guy like me.

“Great,” I said, stepping away. I needed a few seconds to relax, finish my smoke, and visualize how this night was going to go.

“Are you nervous about Ronnie?” she asked, leaning against the railing. She knew I needed my space, my alone time. That was why I kept going back to her.

I took a drag and expelled the smoke slowly.

“Nah, I’m not nervous.”Irritatedwas more like it.

“Is it your stepmother?” She knew about my father’s new marriage and how much the situation bothered me despite my attempts to cover it up.

“Her daughter,” I said, stubbing the cigarette out on the sole of my shoe. “She doesn’t know who I am or what I’m capable of,” I continued.

“You want me to make it clear to her?” she asked, and just imagining Noah and Anna facing off was both hilarious and upsetting.

“No. I just need her to keep her mouth closed and stay out of my business.”

“You don’t want to take her down the road to perdition?” Anna asked. For a second, I thought,Yes, I do.

“Better to keep her away from it. I don’t want her giving me more problems like she did last night.”

The wind shook Anna’s hair away from her neck. I walked over to her and pushed it behind her ear. And then my brain looked for something that wasn’t there—that tattoo, the knot, wasn’t there, and just then, that tattoo was the only thing I wanted to kiss.

I let her go, even though she clearly wanted more.

“Let’s go,” I said. “We’re going to be late.”

“Thought you didn’t care.” Anna’s irritation was evident.

“Right you are,” I said, a little confused myself.

9

Noah

As soon as Nick left, I sat on my bed to catch my breath.Races…That was my weak spot all right. It was one of the few things I’d inherited from my father, one of the few things I had enjoyed doing with him. I remembered sitting on the floor at his feet watching NASCAR on TV. My father had been one of the best drivers of his generation, until everything went bad.