Page 29 of More Than Scars

We slipped into this zone together, riding the vibe we’d found over the past few weeks and the excitement over the way our lives had changed so dramatically. It was a small stage, but it worked for us in that it created an intimate setting where we could move around one another and interact like we were up there in front of ten thousand people. Phones were pointed at us, and the occasional flash went off. For a moment I wondered if they’d captured any of my scars showing, and I hesitated, skipping a few beats of the intro to the next song, in order to comb my hair back over the side of my face again.

I hoped it went unnoticed, as I didn’t miss a single thing once I dove into the song, but that moment was reflected in the rest of my performance, as I made sure not to face the crowd fully after that, choosing to interact with my bandmates instead. If anything, that just helped push the electricity between us higher, as it seemed to bring out the best in Claude every time one of us interacted with him.

By the time we launched into the first of the two original songs we’d been working on together, there was this endless loop of energy coursing through us that bled right into the delivery. Even played acoustically, the songs had bite to them, especially with Tony’s snarling delivery.

I’m not proud to be walking on eggshells.

More of a demon than aflesh-and-blood man

I’m not proud to be damned and broken.

Playing the martyr instead of taking a stand

You’re a beast of burden.

Soul-sucking seduction

I should be angry.

But why waste the energy?

You’ll just slither along.

Dragging the husk of me

I let out a growl on one side of Tony, while Tibby howled on the other side of him, as Claude came crashing in behind us with a drumbeat to launch us into the second verse. By the third verse I realized that while Tibby and I were rocking out together and headbanging over our guitars, the crowd was rocking out with us, banging to the beat Claude had created for the song.

The bang-crash, bang-bang-crash, was a heavy cadence, but not nearly as heavy as our final song. I struck those chords like I was trying to rip lightning from the sky and channel it through my guitar, the whole song a moody piece calling strikes down on everyone who’d ever hurt us.

Fuck you for always saying no to me

Fuck you for being my first bully

Fuck you for siding with my enemies

Fuck you for turning your back on me

Fuck you for never supporting me

Fuck you for never believing in me

Fuck you and your fake-ass authority

Fuck you for trying to control me

Fuck you for thinking you owned me

Fuck you for constantly mocking me

Fuck you for accidentally wrecking me

Fuck you for laughing at my pain

Fuck you for believing their lies

Fuck you, someday you’ll all fail too

Fuck you