Page 27

At that, he grimaced. “It shouldn’t be a novelty.

Their dad being home. It’s… I always felt guilty leaving them when I was on the road, but I feel even worse about it now.

Not… Not because I have any issue with you.

You’re great with them and they adore you.

But… I don’t know. It’s like these road trips where they’re home with you—it feels like I’m even more of a failure.

Or worse of a dad. Or… I don’t know.” His shoulders sagged and his voice wavered a little.

“I used to leave them at home with their other dad. Now I take them away from Bryan and I leave them, and it’s…

” He trailed off again, sighing heavily.

“It makes you feel like you’re not there enough,” I whispered.

“I’m not there enough. And I mean it—it has nothing to do with you. You’ve been great for them, and you’ve been a lifesaver for me. But what kind of dad only gets his kids half the time, and then he’s gone for half of that time?”

“A dad with a really demanding career and a cockweasel for an ex-husband, so you’re doing the best you can to play a shitty hand?”

He managed a laugh at that. “Cockweasel, huh?”

I shrugged unrepentantly. “Am I wrong?”

“No. No, you’re not wrong.” His humor evaporated, and he stared at something off-camera with unfocused eyes. “Sometimes I feel like Bryan did this—the new custody arrangement, I mean—just to make the boys resent me.”

“How do you mean?” I tilted my head. “Do you think he’s trying to alienate them from you?”

“I mean… maybe?” Trev sighed. “But I worry he’s hoping that eventually they won’t want to come to my house anymore because I won’t be there anyway.

And then maybe I’ll… I don’t know, give up joint custody?

Or the boys will ask him to let them stay with him more?

I…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes I think he would never be that vindictive. And then other times…”

I bit my tongue, because oh yeah, I could totally see Bryan being that vindictive.

“And then there’s the part where his boyfriend is such an asshole.

” Trev pressed his head back against the padded headboard.

“I don’t think he says anything in front of the kids—from what I’ve seen, he’s good with them.

But then sometimes I worry he does and… I don’t know.

But when it’s him and me? Or when we’re around the team?

” He rolled his eyes. “Like dude, okay, I get it—you got Bryan. I lost him.” He waved a hand. “Whatever.”

“Does he want you to fight him for Bryan or something?” I asked. “Like does he need you to be jealous?”

“I don’t even know. Sometimes I think he’s just trying to make me fuck up on the ice.”

“Why would he do that? Doesn’t it screw over his own team?”

“It does. But if I fall apart, they’ll drop me to the bottom six and bump him to the second line.”

I scowled. “That’s a bit mercenary.”

“No shit.” Trev suddenly looked even more exhausted, his eyes losing focus as he quietly added, “Sometimes I think he’s succeeding, too.”

I schooled my expression so he didn’t see my wince as the commentators’ remarks echoed in my mind. “Was he getting to you tonight?”

Trev laughed bitterly. “Was it that obvious?”

“I mean…” I half-shrugged. “I’ve watched you play enough to know when you’re having a rough night.”

“That’s an understatement,” he muttered. Then he shook himself and met my gaze. “I’ll get it together. Tonight was a bad night, but I’ll be okay.”

“Okay. Well. If you’re not, you know how to reach me.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. And thanks for talking to me tonight.” He smiled weakly but genuinely. “I still feel like shit, but I feel better.”

“So it’s an upgrade from the shit you felt like earlier?”

That made him laugh. “Yes. Yes, a very nice upgrade. Thank you.” Humor fading, he said, “I should let you go.”

“Are you going to be able to sleep?”

He seemed to think about that. “Probably better than I would have if we hadn’t talked.”

“That’s a start, right?”

The smile came back to life. “Yeah. It’s a start. I’ll take it.”

“Works for me.”

We ended the call a moment later. I lay back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, my dark and silent phone resting in the middle of my chest. I hated seeing Trev this unhappy.

And I hated that there was no escape from it.

Even if Bryan and Tim split up, Trev would still be stuck with both of them in his life for the foreseeable future.

Plus he’d still be dealing with the custody shitshow.

There’d been a time in my life when I’d have scoffed at the thought of sympathizing with a millionaire athlete. Especially recently when I’d had to move back in with my mom because I’d suddenly been without a job or a place to live.

Oh, you’ve got problems, Mr. Moneybags? Cry me a river, pal.

But tonight, the sweetest, most loving father I’d ever met was hurting because someone he’d tried to love was using their kids to make him miserable. He was stuck in an impossible situation with his ex, with his teammate, and with his boys. No amount of money could chase away that kind of pain.

Is it really too much to ask for Trev to catch a break?