Page 14

TREV

The boys were mercifully easy at bedtime.

I’d joked with Bryan that that was the gods balancing things out after the first two years, during which I was pretty sure he and I got about six minutes of sleep between us.

Now, they might put up a little bit of a fuss if they were in the middle of something, but once they started their routines—baths, pajamas, brushing their teeth—they didn’t really fight it.

By eight thirty, they were both out cold, leaving Cam and me with the rest of the evening to chill. We settled in the living room, this time with water instead of beers.

“So.” He pulled his feet up under him on the couch and faced me. “You ready for training camp?”

“Hell yeah.” I grinned. “I’m always excited for the season to get started. Though…” I grimaced. “I think camp kicks my ass a little harder each year.”

Cam arched an eyebrow. “Could that just be that you’re getting older?”

I glanced over my shoulder to make sure neither of the boys had snuck in, then flipped Cam off.

He snickered. “Hey, am I wrong?”

“You’re three months older than me.”

“Mmhmm, and I feel it at the gym sometimes, believe me.”

“Says the guy who’s making everyone else sore and miserable.”

“Hey.” Cam put up his hands. “People pay me to do that. I’m not there to judge their masochism.”

“You’re just there to indulge your own sadism.”

He rocked his head from side to side in a gesture that was neither an admission nor a denial.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Eh, you’re just like the trainers my team hires. My strength trainer is—ugh, she is mean .”

“That bad, huh?”

“She’s the reason some gyms have escalators. It’s not because people are lazy—it’s because no one can walk up or down stairs after doing leg day with her.”

Cam barked a laugh. “Ah, she’s that type!” He grinned. “A woman after my own heart.”

“Yeah, I bet.” I hoped the rush of warmth I got from his laugh and his grin didn’t actually turn my face red. God, he was so cute. And hot. And just… so perfectly Cam.

Do you have any idea how much I missed you?

Or how much I want you now that you’re ? —

Noo, no. Not going down that train of thought. Calm the fuck down, Trevor.

I cleared my throat. “If you decide to look into any personal training gigs, I can get you in touch with the team staff. They’re always booked solid and turning away clients, so I’m sure they could refer people to you.”

At that, Cam offered a soft smile that made my head spin. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. I, um…” He stared down at his hands for a moment, then shrugged as he returned his gaze to me. “I think taking a break from training might be good for me. Not forever—just enough to take a breather.”

I tilted my head. “I thought you liked it.”

“I did. I do .” He sighed. “But my last gym got really toxic, especially after my ex started playing games. The way they all turned on me after he made those accusations?” Cam wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “It left a really bad taste in my mouth.”

“I bet. But do you want to get back into it?”

“Eventually, yeah. I love training people. I just… need to stay away for a little while and shake off everything that happened in Portland.”

“Makes sense to me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, though—about getting in touch with the team’s staff.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” I glanced at my phone and sighed. “It’s getting late. And I have to see the evil strength trainer in question tomorrow morning, so I better get some sleep.”

Cam chuckled. “Good idea.”

We took our water glasses into the kitchen, then headed upstairs. I peeked in on the boys; they were both sound asleep.

In the hallway in front of my bedroom door, Cam and I both paused, and when I turned to him…

Oh, God.

Why do I want to kiss you so bad?

Yeah, right. As if I didn’t know.

Somehow, I held on to my dignity, and I just cleared my throat and gestured at my bedroom door. “I’ll, um, see you in the morning.”

“Right.” He smiled with an edge of shyness and uncertainty that I couldn’t quite parse. “See you in the morning.”

We both retreated to our bedrooms, and as soon as I was behind a closed door, I closed my eyes and exhaled.

I’m going to go insane while he lives here, aren’t I?

Probably. But there weren’t a whole lot of alternatives, and quite frankly, I wasn’t interested in any. I liked having him here, even if his presence was plucking at the fraying threads of my sanity.

Was I always like this when I was attracted to someone?

Or was this just what happened when I hadn’t wanted anyone in way too long?

That was quite possibly it. My sex drive had been so dead and gone since long before my divorce, I hadn’t even wanted it to come back. I hadn’t cared if I ever got horny or got off ever again.

Tonight… I was horny. And oh my God, I needed to get off.

I reminded myself again that it would be painfully awkward to face Cam across the breakfast table the morning after I’d jerked off to him. That was what had kept my hand off my dick every night since he’d arrived. Tonight, I wasn’t so sure I could resist.

Then again, would it really make a difference?

Because he was screwing with my concentration, and that wasn’t going to get any better as long as he was living here.

Seeing him in his swim trunks. Watching his powerful body in the water.

Just… being around him. Yeah, it really didn’t matter if I took care of this hard-on now; I wanted him, I was hard for him, and it was going to be just as embarrassing to make eye contact with him whether I got off or not.

So… fuck it.

I was paranoid about making any noise even though my bed frame was remarkably quiet, so I stepped into the shower.

By the time I was under the rushing water, I was rock hard and desperate for friction, so I got right to it.

I had to bite back a groan as I closed my fingers around my dick.

My toes curled into the hard floor, and the heat beneath my skin was almost enough to make the water hitting my back feel cool.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pumped myself furiously, imagining I was with Cam.

Naked with him. Against him. Inside him.

I imagined tasting his mouth. Sliding my hands all over his gorgeous body.

His hands sliding all over me. God, I wanted to feel him.

I wanted to hear him when he came. I wanted to turn him on and get him off any way he asked me to. Any way that made him hot.

When we’d dated, we’d wanted each other the way horny teenagers do—have hormones, want sex.

This? This was completely different. I didn’t want sex.

I wanted sex with Cam . I wanted to be tangled up with him, buried inside him, absolutely coming unraveled with him.

I wanted to feel the ripple of tension run through him just before he came, and I wanted to feel every tremor and every whimper while he rode his climax as long as I could make it last. However he wanted me to wring that pleasure out of him—fucking him, fingering him, going down on him—I’d do it all, and just thinking about doing any one of those things had me gasping for breath as my orgasm closed in.

In the second before I went over the edge, I had just enough presence of mind to clamp down on the cry that tried to escape my lips.

The shower swallowed the shuddering groan as I unloaded all over my hand and the wall, thrusting into my own fist the way I wished I could be thrusting into Cam, until my knees nearly dropped out from under me.

Hand still around my cock, my other arm still pressed against the wall, I stood there for a long time, trembling and panting. Water continued beating on my back. My heart continued slamming against my ribs. Those sexy fantasies continued flashing through my mind.

Fuck, if any one of them came true now—if I got the chance to lay a single finger on him—I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.

Though… dying by orgasm while Cam had his hands on me? I mean, I could think of far worse ways to go.

I laughed at my own thought, then pushed myself off the wall and turned to face the water. I shakily rinsed off and got out of the shower. After I’d dried myself and brushed my teeth, I climbed into bed, and goddamn—my legs were still shaking. My whole body was still vibrating.

Eyes closed, I replayed that ridiculously hot session in the shower.

I was kind of surprised I didn’t get hard again, though the night was still young.

For now, I just basked in the solo afterglow, both relieved my libido had returned and half out of my mind because I wanted someone I couldn’t have.

Someone who was in bed right down the hall. Someone who lived in my house.

“Fuck my life,” I whispered, rubbing my eyes with an unsteady hand.

Living with someone who I wanted so bad I couldn’t think straight was seriously frustrating. And distracting. And…

Still a million times better than living with someone who resented me and despised me too much to even think about touching me.

No, I couldn’t have Cam. And even if he wanted me, it was probably a bad idea because he worked for me, and because I needed him in very real, non-sexual ways.

But he was back in my life. He was saving my ass. I could fantasize about him in secret the same way I’d fantasized about other men I couldn’t have. Being this close to him without being able to touch him would be frustrating, but it beat the hell out of not having him back in my world.

I could live with this.

I might need to stock up on lube and I’d probably wear out my elbow.

But I could live with it.