Page 26 of Loving the Tormentor

"Do you understand?" she insists, her expression turning ominous.

I swallow over the lump in my throat. "Fuck, yes, I get it."

She shrugs and smiles brightly at me. "Good. Other than that, he's harmless. We've handled him for years. Just ignore him if he gets on your nerves. The celebrity in him hates that."

"I'll probably just stay away from him altogether," I admit, heart racing.

"Sure. Great idea too."

"So," Alex quickly changes topic, probably sensing my anxiety. "Are you looking forward to wearing our uniform?" she teases.

"Nothing screams rich kids more than a uniform in undergrad," I tell them, wanting to groan at the thought.

"You get used to it." Ella’s baby-blue eyes light up as she laughs. "Only two years for you."

"I won't lie; I'm not looking forward to wearing a tie. Those things are dramatic. And I hate the feeling of something around my neck."

I see all their eyes go to my neck as they notice I'm not wearing any necklaces.

"Is it that bad?" Alex asks.

"Just a bad experience." Their worried stares don't fade. "But I'll be fine," I say on a tight breath and with a fake smile. "It's just a tie so I can be in my dream college. I'll happily feel like I'm going to die so I can study music here."

It sounds like a joke, and they do laugh. But the simple idea of having that small noose around my neck really does make me feel like I’m dying.

"You don't have to wear it all the time," Alex assures me. "It's not like they're going to kick you out if you don't. As long as you wear the skirt, shirt, and jacket."

"Sure. Yeah. Good to know. I need the bathroom," I throw at them as I escape quickly, struggling to breathe.

I need a minute alone to freak out.

It's impossible to find a bathroom downstairs, and after being almost crushed by the crowd in the living room, I decide to head upstairs. I try the first door on the landing, but it's someone's bedroom. Another, and someone calls out, "Occupied!"

Fuck.

I'm not even sure whose house this is, but the panic can't wait, so I push open another door. A bedroom again. This time, I see an en-suite and rush to it. Surely, they're busy partying downstairs.

The second I'm alone in the bathroom, the alcohol hits me. I'm not used to drinking so much, and with the buzz of the party, I couldn't tell how much it was affecting me. I reach for the bubblegum in my bag and pop a ball into my mouth. Sitting down on the shut toilet lid, I close my eyes and chew until my jaw hurts. Every bite pushes memories away, and with the alcohol, they're not very clear anyway. Not as clear as usual, at least.

The flash of a skull mask.

The tightness around my throat.

The gum gets hard, hurting my jaw, its sugar coating my teeth.

Chew. Chew.It's not happening again. You're just thinking too hard about it.

Chew. Chew.You're not in danger.

Chew. Chew.Just breathe.

Throwing my gum in the trash, I take a deep breath and gather some courage to go back outside.

It's just a uniform tie, Nyx. No one’s trying to kill you.

I run a hand through my hair, square my shoulders, and open the door with a new fervor, ready to have the time of my life with the new friends I just made?—

"Holy fuck!" I choke, my gasp startling the two people in front of me.