Page 118 of Loving the Tormentor
Talk about being exceptional.
They look into both her ears, make her do auditory and audiology tests. Every few minutes, her gaze comes back to me, seeking a reassurance I'm not sure how to offer. But fuck, I try. I try because, even if it isn't in me, I want to create it for her. I nod at her. I grab her hand when I can. I even try for a real smile, which earns me nothing but laughter.
"Don't try that again." She giggles. "You look creepy."
It worked, though.
They take her to another room, and we wait in a private waiting area while three people work on a diagnosis.
It's eight p.m. when Dr. Decker invites us back into her office.
"Miss Mayer, I have great news," she says with a bright smile as we sit down. "You're not deaf in your left ear. Not completely, at least. You have a 95% hearing loss from nerve damage. It’s sensorineural, which means it's permanent. It might have happened when you were a baby or a child, but the why doesn't matter at this point."
"Oh," she simply says.
"That's your good news?" I say, unimpressed. "Telling us that it's permanent?"
"Well, the good news is that you still have the slightest bit of sound getting through, so we can give you tools to help you hear better. We can amplify sound for you rather than having to do surgery, for example. Hearing aids are much different now than they used to be. They're discreet, extremely efficient. You'll never hear the same way you do in your right ear, but it will be life changing. You mentioned you go to college. We could give you a microphone device you pass to your professors, and they would just have to put it on their desks. It would go to your hearing aid directly." She points at her own lips, smiling. "You wouldn't have to read on here anymore."
All I can hear is Nyx's breathing picking up. All I see is the way she bites on her tongue.
"When can she get it?" I ask.
Her head drops, and I hear her sniffling, but I don't point anything out.
"We can do the earmold today, and we'll have it ready in about two weeks," Decker answers with professionalism.
I place my hand at the back of her neck, squeezing gently. "How does that sound?"
She stays quiet, a curtain of hair hiding her face, so I turn back to the doctor. "Get everything ready for the mold."
I slide off my chair, squatting next to her instead as I push locks of hair behind her ear.
"Baby," I say softly. "Talk to me."
She doesn’t. I get nothing while Decker works on her ear. Nothing but tears that I watch drop onto her uniform skirt since she didn't even change on the plane.
By the time we're all done, and Decker sits back behind her desk to book us another appointment for the fitting, I'm standing beside Nyx's chair, a hand still wrapped around the back of her neck.
She stands up abruptly, shrugging me off in the process. "I don't deserve this."
I watch her run out of the room, careful not to slam the door, which tells me she's not mad at us.
"Book the appointment for the fitting. Any day it arrives, it doesn't matter. We'll be there."
And I stride after my girlfriend. Because she's hiding something from me, and I need to find out what.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Achilles
Midnight Sky – Jared Benjamin
It's only when you start caring for someone that you understand power is insignificant.
I was born powerful. It's not fair; it makes me unlikeable, and it came with a lot of shit I would have rather avoided. But it's an unchangeable fact.
I could make Nyx do anything I wanted when I didn't care. I abused my power over her and got whatever I needed out of it. And then I started tocare.
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