Page 148 of Love's Most Wanted

I heard Kabrina’s phone buzzing, and from the way she sat up and answered, I knew I was about to pull up on a nigga. Only side niggas and side bitches called at two a.m. and only cheaters answered.

“Oh my gosh! Are you serious?” she said into the phone, and I could no longer play sleep while I was listening.

“What’s up?” I sat up just as she said ‘okay’ and hung up.

“Um, that was my aunt Bell.” She turned to look at me, and the sight of her face looking the way it did made my fucking stomach drop.

“Aight, and what’s going on? She aight?”

“Yeah, she is but Devante isn’t. He umm… he put a bullet in his head,” she said, and for some reason, it felt like my fucking lung collapsed.

“What? When? Why?”

“I think tonight. She didn’t give me many details, but I could hear Sharon in the back and… she just told me he shot himself in the head.”

I didn’t know what to say, because I wasn’t sure how I truly felt or why I felt the way a nigga did. A part of me actually cared, and I didn’t know why. Wasn’t like I wanted a relationship with his ass.

“This is… crazy. I don’t even get why he would do that shit. That don’t even sound like him.” I finally found some words.

Devante was too big of a coward and cared too much about himself to pull some shit like this, so it had to be a hell of a reason behind it. It was more likely that the nigga hadfakedhis death.

“Not sure, but did you want to go over there? Or wait until tomorrow to get more information?” She touched my arm.

“Tomorrow. I… I’m too fucking speechless right now.” I pecked her lightly and lay back down.

Kabrina nodded then put her phone on the nightstand before cuddling up to me.

“Are you sad, baby?” she queried softly.

“I am, but I don’t know why.”

* * *

My brothers and I entered the large church where Devante’s funeral was being held. Asif came as well, more for moral support than anything, just like my moms and Prime. The ladies were here, too, simply for the same reason.

Half of us were here to pay respects, and the other half were here to find out what truly happened to Devante and why he did what he did.

I hadn’t wanted to bother Sharon or even Aunt Bell for the details because I could tell they were going through it. Kabrina left them alone as well.

I felt bad as fuck as I witnessed his kids Deacon, Adriel, and Faith in the front row, crying loudly.

To see other people love and miss him as their father was weird for a nigga. Because even when he lived with us, he was always so distant and even a bit standoffish.

He kept conversation with us a to a minimum and always had a reason why he couldn’t be in the house for long, especially during summer break. He never wanted to throw a ball with us or play ball with Cemone because he always had work to do. Strangely enough, I couldn’t be sure if I would’ve missed him as much as Deacon, Adriel, and Faith had he not abandoned me.

I remembered my brothers and I thinking Prime was a hawk, annoying, or weird because of how involved with us he was when, really, we just weren’t used to it.

We weren’t used to a man or father figure caring about how late we stayed out or what we were up to. We weren’t used to a father figure sitting us down and explaining how a man needed to map his life out because no woman wanted a husband who didn’t know what he planned to do. All that shit we used to talk shit about him in secret on, I was beyond thankful for.

And it was a large part of the reason why I was so happy my niece Sophie would experience that shit as well my nephew Mikail. Because they would understand that sometimes a replacement was better than the real thing.

We got a few looks and stares as we walked in, our paternal grandparents telling us to come sit down with them. They hadn’t been able to make up with Devante, and that was because, according to my grandpa, he didn’t want to. I thought he was scared to face his own pops and therefore made no effort to rekindle with them. Still, they were here as they should be.

“Glad you all came,” my grandmother said, kissing Lequay who was right beside her.

“Of course,” Bashar said.

The service started, and a few people got up to speak who clearly knew Devante well. I’d never heard of them obviously. The only people who spoke that I did somewhat know was my grandmother, Sharon, and Adriel. Deacon clearly didn’t want to go up there.