Page 34 of Love or Leave (Mapleton #4)

twenty-nine

C ara woke in a pool of hot afternoon sunlight that drenched her bed.

When she'd run to her room to hide, the winter storm had still been raging outside.

She'd distracted herself with Netflix on her laptop, but it hadn't taken long for her to nod off, and eventually the sleep took her away from her problems.

She'd welcomed it—however brief it had been.

She checked the clock, wondering how long she'd been unconscious. She was shocked to see it was already late afternoon. She climbed out of bed and peered out the window.

The storm had passed but left a path of destruction in its wake. She spotted Ethan and Natalie near the woods behind their house with Ben, picking up fallen branches and breaking them over their knees.

She rubbed her eyes as the memories of the morning came rushing back, then fell into her chair and slid down to its edge.

Another break-up. She should be a pro at getting over failed relationships by now. But Antonio had broken her heart way worse than Cooper had. She hadn't even realized that what she'd felt for Cooper wasn't love until she'd fallen for Antonio.

She rubbed at the ache in her chest. They'd only officially been together for three and a half days, but in that time, she'd fallen hard. And, worse, she'd let herself be hopeful.

She forced herself to stand up and threw on some fresh clothes and brushed her hair. The crying had made her throat raw. She needed a tea and something to eat to build up her energy.

For more crying.

She opened her door and listened but heard nothing. Hopefully everyone was too busy with their own lives to be hanging around, thinking about her. She climbed down the stairs and went to the kitchen. But as soon as she turned the corner, she found Willow at the island, working on her laptop.

"Hey!" Willow said, immediately closing her computer. "I was about to come check on you."

A headache formed behind Cara’s eyes. She loved her friends, but she really just wanted to be alone. "I don't need to be checked on."

Willow deflated.

"Be nice."

Cara whipped around to find Max on the chair in the living room, working on his own laptop.

"Why are you here?"

Max set aside his computer on the coffee table and walked over, taking the seat next to Willow. "Willow was feeling sick, so we're working from here. And we're worried about you."

"I'm fine."

Willow narrowed her eyes. "You just slept five hours in the middle of the day. You're obviously not fine."

Cara turned and grabbed the kettle, filled it with water, and plugged it in.

"Please tell me what happened," Willow said.

Cara sighed and sat on the stool next to her. She knew she wouldn't get away with ignoring the whole thing. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"When did it start?"

She turned to her brother with a wince. "A few weeks ago."

"Weeks?" Willow asked, her eyebrows creeping up.

Cara sucked in a deep breath. How much should she reveal? Probably all of it. Maybe it would be somehow therapeutic to get it all out.

"I actually sort of…" God, this was embarrassing. "Asked him out at the grand opening."

Willow whipped her head toward Max, eyes sharp. "I told you."

Cara raised a brow. "Told him what?"

"He assumed Antonio was trying to get with you."

Cara slowly shook her head before dropping her chin. "It was me."

"Adam said he was using you," Max said.

Another heavy shake. She thought back to the night in Montreal when she'd thrown herself at him, hoping he'd catch her.

"If anything, I used him," she said.

Max's nose wrinkled. "Tell me what happened. Without the details."

"Well, I asked him out at the grand opening, but he said no, that he was getting back together with…" She trailed off, not even wanting to say her name.

"Right," Willow said.

"Anyway, I had tickets to this concert, but no one else could go, so I asked if he'd come—just as a friend—and he said no."

She rubbed at the tightness in her chest.

"Why didn't you ask me?" Max asked.

She turned to her brother with a sigh. "Cooper was there. And Jalen. It was complicated."

He let out a sharp breath and opened his mouth to speak, but Willow cut him off before he could get a word out.

"Then what?" Willow asked.

"Out of nowhere, Antonio called. He didn't want to go to his parents' anniversary party alone, and he said he'd go to the concert if I went to the party, and obviously I agreed."

"But why didn't you just tell us?" Max asked.

Cara thought back to the conversation and wondered. "I wanted to, but he didn't want to. He probably already knew that I liked him." She squeezed her eyes shut at the memory of them playing cards together.

"So, in Montreal you two were…" Willow drifted off. "It progressed?"

Cara nodded.

"And the next morning, when we couldn't find you?"

Her belly knotted as she turned to her brother. "I was in his room."

Max stood with a shake of his head and paced the room. "He lied right to my face."

Cara winced. "Actually, he wanted to tell you right then. I made up the story about going out for a walk, and I asked him to lie and take you away, and then I snuck out of his room—"

"Yeah, got it," Max said, his eyes closed, waving at her to stop.

"Anyway, he came over on Thursday and wanted to talk and we kissed and that's when Adam and Ethan caught us. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and we planned to tell you, but then this morning…" She trailed off. She'd given enough information for both of them to work with.

Willow looked like she wanted to cry. "I feel so bad for him."

Max spun toward her, eyes wide. "Him?"

"He's been through a lot, and he finally seemed to turn things around, and then—boom." Willow made an explosion with her hands.

Cara's stomach lurched. She agreed. Probably because she loved Antonio.

She didn't want him to suffer. The worst part about it was that she could really be herself with him.

He'd seen her at her worst and at her best and everything in between.

And he'd still said he loved her and wanted to be her boyfriend.

She never would have done some of those things in front of Cooper or Jalen. She thought back to the sidewalk in front of the concert when Antonio saw her yelling at Cooper.

"He probably wasn't expecting to fall in love with you," Willow said. "And it happened so quickly he probably didn't know what to do about it."

Cara shrugged. It didn't really matter. It was over.

"What are you going to do?" Max asked.

Cara rolled her neck and stood, making her way to the kettle to pour her tea. "Find someone who isn't married. It just sucks because…"

"What?" Max asked.

Tears pricked her eyes, but she held them off. "I thought he was perfect for me."

"We all think he is," Willow said.

Max scowled.

"Almost all of us," she said, glaring at Max. "Do you think you can forgive him?"

Cara nodded. "I'll forgive him and put it all behind us, but I won't date him."

There was no way she could go back down that path—she liked him too much. He was perfect for her in some ways, but not in others.

Suddenly a lightbulb went off and Cara realized what the problem was. Finding a partner was like making a Venn diagram. She needed to find someone that fell into the intersection of compatibility, chemistry, and availability.

Antonio ticked the first two off the list. Big time. But he wasn't available. It was too messy, and she didn't need to settle for someone who wouldn't make her a priority.

"Are you going to get back out there? Maybe try the dating apps again?"

"Eventually," Cara said. "But for now, I'm going to go cry."

She pulled the tea bag from the cup and tossed it into the compost, then she grabbed a banana and a tin of cashews from the cupboard and headed for the hall.

"Care," Max said.

She stopped.

"The racetrack's having a poker tournament next weekend. We can go, if you want."

She considered for a moment. "Yes, to the poker, no to you."

"Rude."

Cara smiled for the first time since the disastrous morning at Antonio’s. "I want to get comfortable doing things alone."

If she'd gone to that concert alone, none of this would have happened.

Max narrowed his eyes. "Fine. I'll text you the link. What do you want me to do about Antonio?"

Cara shrugged. "Don't care."

She walked away and climbed the stairs up to her room. Before she even made it to her door, she had the text from Max for the poker tournament.

Maybe the love of her life was a poker player.

That made way more sense than golf.