Page 18 of Love or Leave (Mapleton #4)

Antonio smiled and nodded. That was impossible to disagree with. The Scrabble game on the bus had been the most fun he had since… well, since the euchre tournament. He knew it wasn't just fun because they were sneaking around. It was fun because she was her.

He'd never felt this sort of thrill with Fran. Not even at the beginning of their relationship.

He could feel himself tipping too far over the edge. His feelings for her were stronger than he was comfortable with. In a last-ditch effort to maintain a platonic relationship, or maybe to give her an easy out if she wanted to take it, he broke eye contact and looked up at the cold, clear sky.

"Hey, look, Orion."

Her eyes burned into the side of his head for a second before she twisted up and snorted. "That's not Orion."

He let out a laugh.

"Do you know anything about astronomy?"

"I know I'm a Virgo."

"Oh my God," she said. Her smiled dropped. "That's not…" she took a deep breath before shaking her head and continuing.

"You're probably looking at Cassiopeia," she said, turning her back to Antonio and pointing up. "You can tell because it’s shaped like a W and it's close to Polaris, above Perseus and Andromeda."

Antonio looked down at the back of her head, wanting so badly to pull her into his chest. He didn't really know which constellations she was talking about, but he knew he wanted her to keep talking. "I've never heard of it."

She continued looking up. "The story goes that Cassiopeia insulted Poseidon by declaring she was more beautiful than his sea nymphs, so he sent a monster after her to steal her daughter. See that bright cluster to the right?"

He followed her finger up. "Yeah."

"That's Cassiopeia A. It was the only supernova visible from earth with the naked eye, but it exploded in the sixteen hundreds. It looks pretty amazing through a telescope, though."

"How can you see it if it exploded?"

"You don't see it how it is now. It's too far away. What you see through a telescope is how it looked in the past. In Cassiopia A's case, approximately four hundred years ago."

"Huh?"

"It's too far away to know what it looks like now, because the light hasn't reached us."

He nodded, trying to wrap his mind around that. Why hadn't he learned more about space? It was cool as fuck.

Cara turned back toward him and reached for his shoulders. He thought— hoped —she was going to kiss him, but she just smiled and said, "I'll show you sometime," before twisting his body around.

He let her spin him until his back was to her, then she reached over his shoulder and pointed up.

"That's Orion, the hunter," she said. "It looks like an hourglass. See?"

He nodded.

"The brightest star at his shoulder is Betelgeuse. Across is Bellatrix, where his weapon starts, and the three little dots in the middle are his belt."

Antonio committed the details to memory as he reached for her outstretched hand, worried that her fingers would freeze without gloves. Sure enough, she was ice cold.

He turned toward her and took both her hands in his to warm them before realizing what he'd done, but when his brain told him to drop her hands, he refused and held them tighter. He looked up at her eyes that he loved so much and found her staring into his soul.

It was almost too much, as if she was viewing him under a microscope. He drooped his gaze to her lips, but that really didn't help matters.

She moved in close until her body pressed against his with their intertwined hands between them at their chest. The heat of their bodies radiated together, swirling around them and keeping them warm.

When she rose slightly on her tip toes toward him and moved in close, it didn't even occur to him to stop her. He wanted her close. And now that she was, it felt right. As natural as breathing. It was as if something tethered him to her.

There was probably a scientific reason, maybe there was some astrophysical concept that could explain why he couldn't break away from her, like the same reason stars don't break from their constellations.

He didn't know. All he knew was that some cosmic force had made it physically impossible for him to step back at that moment. In fact, it felt as though he was being sucked in closer.

Antonio moved in, leaned forward, and gently touched her lips with his. In an instant, he ignited—as if he'd touched a star. His skin fluttered as heat shot through his veins, lighting every atom in his body on fire.

Cara's lips parted, opening for him, soft and warm, and he deepened the kiss, finally moving his hands to touch her face. Her hands reached up, coming around to the back of his head, and a little sigh escaped from her as his fingers touched her ear.

Everything in his heart and head and body fell exactly into place. It was as if he'd been putting together a million-piece puzzle for the last thirty years and he'd finally found the last missing piece to complete it.

His heart drummed hard, almost painfully, inside his chest as her soft, wet lips slid against his, causing a light headedness he'd never experienced before. An overwhelming need to touch her—explore her—overcame him. He wanted desperately to erase everything between them.

He reached his hands around her waist and pulled her up, pressing her against him. Why was she wearing such a thick coat? He wanted to feel her warmth, touch her skin, kiss her neck.

"Cab."

It took half a second before Adam's voice registered and Antonio remembered he was standing on a sidewalk outside of a bar in Montreal.

Shit.

He jumped back as if someone had electrically shocked him, and he snapped his eyes to the bench, where he found Adam sitting up, holding the armrest, and trying to stand.

Cara's hand landed on Antonio's shoulder, and she pushed him toward Adam. "We better go."

Antonio nodded in a daze. He hauled Adam to his feet and he happily took the help, flopping his arm across Antonio's shoulder as they made their way across the sidewalk to the car.

Antonio placed Adam, who was mumbling something incoherently, in the front seat of the cab, then closed the door and got into the back seat.

Cara was already in the warm car, waiting for him. She moved in close to Antonio and he reached his arm out toward her without thinking, pulling her into his side until her head rested on his shoulder.

Perfect.

"Ambassador Hotel, right?" the cab driver said, not bothering with a hello.

"Yeah," Antonio said.

The driver pulled away from the curb, and Antonio felt Cara shiver next to him.

"I don't mean to say it, but I'm freezing as in the true sense of the word."

Antonio laughed and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "Same."

He held her for the whole ten-minute drive, surprised, but also not surprised at all, by how holding her felt like the most natural thing he'd ever done.

Having her in his arms was everything. He literally believed they connected somehow, on some cosmic level, and the universe was pushing them closer.

Either way, he allowed himself to enjoy the quiet stolen moment. Some time between the Scrabble game that morning and the drunken stargazing, he'd accepted that fact that she was someone he wanted in his life.

Telling Max about the situation was going to be fucked up. But he had to do it.

Cara snuggled in closer, melting into his side, and he dropped a kiss to her forehead. He held her for the rest of the drive, slightly afraid at the depths his feelings had already gone, until they arrived at the hotel and the cab came to a stop in front of the lobby.

Cara pulled away first and Antonio’s body actually bristled at the loss.

They thanked the driver and took hold of Adam, then made their way into the hotel, down the hall, and up the elevator to their block of rooms on the top floor.

But when they got to the respective rooms, they realized they were in trouble.

Their friends seemed to have drunkenly mixed up all the rooms.

Antonio used Adam's key to put him in his rightful bed, but Chelsea was nowhere to be found.

When Cara opened the room she was sharing with Jae, she found all the girls in there.

Willow and Natalie had passed out in Cara's bed.

Chelsea was in the second bed with Jae. Antonio and Cara hunted around for a minute but couldn't find keys to Ethan’s or Max's room.

Cara tipped her head toward the door and they both stepped out into the hallway.

"I don't have a bed," Cara whispered after the door had swung closed.

Adrenaline shot through Antonio's veins as she looked up at him. He wanted her in his bed more than anything, but he really wanted to do this the right way. Not the “sneaking behind her brother's back” way.

The solution to their problem was so clear. She should stay in his room with him.

He wanted it. She seemed to want it.

But would they actually be able to stay together without anything happening? As much as he agreed with her that the sneaking around was fun, he didn't want to start a relationship with her like that.

God, he wanted her to stay with him but prayed she wouldn't.

"Antonio?" she asked in a whisper.

He took in her eyes. "Mmm?"

Please don't say it. I won't be able to say no.

"Can I stay with you?"

Fuck.

She said it.

He looked back at the door to his room, picturing the one king-sized bed that was in there. "Just to sleep?" he asked.

She held his gaze, then gently shook her head. He was pretty sure he was going to need a fucking defibrillator.

His head had already started nodding, but his brain forced some logic out of his mouth.

"What about Max?"

She stared into his eyes for a moment and desperately wished he could read her mind. "We don't have to tell him."

He gave one more utterly useless hesitation before he took her hand in his and unlocked his door.