Page 16 of Love or Leave (Mapleton #4)

thirteen

C ara stood on the sidewalk in front of Brin's Café and balanced a load of coffee on one hand as she pulled her scarf up around her neck to shield herself from the icy wind.

She'd offered to grab coffee for everyone that morning so they could get on the road to Montreal, but if she'd known how cold it was going to be, she wouldn't have been so nice.

Because the sun hadn't risen, the streetlights were still on, and a thick frost coated everything. She was the only person in sight, which wasn't a surprise since the only place open was Brin's.

She peered through the window back into the café and checked the time on the wall. The limo bus had likely left Monroe Manor already, so hopefully she wouldn't be waiting for long.

She'd been bouncing on her toes in the foyer, waiting for Antonio to arrive at Monroe Manor when she realized how desperate she'd been to see him and bolted out of there. The last thing she needed was someone noticing how eager she was to see Antonio again.

She hadn't slept a wink all night. She'd never been to Montreal before, or out for a bachelorette party, or even away with friends for a weekend.

But mostly she'd fixated on Antonio.

As she had for the past week.

No matter how many times she slapped herself to rid her mind of saucy images of him, they always came back. Quicker and hotter.

It was as if a parasite had entered her brain and took over, rewiring synapses so she could no longer think of Antonio as her brother's friend. In her mind, he'd morphed into a super hot dude she wanted to bang, and she had no clue how to exorcise the demon.

Or worse, if she even wanted to.

Just then, the limo bus appeared down the street, breaking her thoughts as it came closer and rolled to a stop in front of her.

Warm air blasted from it as the back door opened. Cara bent down and passed the tray of coffees to the first person she saw. Max.

"Thanks, Cara," Willow said as she pulled cups from the tray and distributed them.

"No problem," she said.

Cara ducked inside and settled on an empty section of the seat next to the door. Antonio sat opposite her, all the way on the other side of the bus, next to Ethan.

She smiled at him. "Morning," she said.

He smiled back and opened his mouth like he was going to reply but glanced at Max and thought better of it.

It was almost amusing how uncomfortable he was at interacting with her when everyone else was around. She wanted to make things less weird, but the moment she looked at him, all she could think about was getting closer.

She took him in, her eyes landing on the sliver of his neck showing from under his dark hoodie. She wondered what his stubble would feel like against her cheek.

Or what his hands would feel like sliding up the back of her shirt.

Or what his face would look like when he—

No! She shook her head and looked away. But her resolve only lasted a second before she glanced back up at him. He was scrolling through his phone, his head bent in concentration, when she got an idea.

An awful idea—a wonderful, awful idea.

Cara tipped her chin down with a grinchy smile as she glanced around the bus, finding everyone half asleep and leaning on each other, except for Antonio. He was wide awake, lounging on the seat with an ankle crossed over his knee.

She hesitated for a split second before giving a “why the hell not” shrug and pulled out her phone. After a few clicks, she hit send, then watched Antonio and waited.

A second later, his head snapped up to hers and he smiled, then he looked back down and started typing.

Her smile was now taking over her face as she waited to see what he would say to her invitation to play Scrabble with her. She looked around—no one was paying any attention to her—so she didn't bother to hide her elation.

What was it about sneaking around right in front of their friends that was so… fun? She suppressed an excited squeal as she felt her phone buzz with a new message and opened it.

Antonio: It's too early to be taken to task by you.

She hid a laugh.

Cara: You don't look that tired.

In fact, he looked delicious. Downright cuddleable. She wanted her face on his chest. She wanted to kiss along his jaw and down his neck.

Antonio: I'm used to functioning with little sleep.

She lifted one eyebrow at him when his eyes found hers, then started typing again.

Cara: Then you have no excuse.

He huffed a small laugh, then hit a button. Cara got a notification on the game screen that he'd accepted the challenge.

She couldn't contain her glee. And it only multiplied when her first set of letters popped up on her screen and she knew exactly what word to play.

She played her word and hit enter, then waited. Antonio's reaction didn't disappoint. He dropped the phone away from his face and stared at her across the bus as she tried not to laugh.

Antonio: Nipple?

She smiled at his message and nodded.

Cara: On a double word score. Beat that.

"Is that Jalen?"

Cara's head shot up at Adam's voice so fast that her phone fumbled in her hands and almost crashed to the ground. "Uh, no…"

Chelsea opened her eyes at the sound but kept her head down against Adam's shoulder. "Then who's making you smile like that?"

Cara schooled her face into what she hoped was a nonchalant expression. "Just some guy I met."

She really hoped that sounded believable.

"Won't Jalen be upset?" Adam asked.

Cara shrugged and searched for words, but any response she might have planned died when a notification dinged on the Scrabble game. She looked down and almost snorted.

He played the word SEX.

She wasn't sure what she was more gleeful about—that he seemed comfortable being inappropriate with her or the egregious misuse of the letter X.

She chanced a glance at Antonio, but he was staring out the window, perfectly composed, not giving a single shred of evidence that he was the one on the other end of her conversation.

He wasn't as good as her at Scrabble, but he was much better at sneaking around.

Was that a red flag?

She shook off the thought. "I'm not sure about Jalen right now," she replied to Adam, and noticed a slight flicker from Antonio's direction.

"Oh," Chelsea said, sitting up. "Adam said you looked like you were having fun on your date."

She nodded. "It was okay, but I don't know if he's the one ," she said as she assessed the game board and thought about her next move.

"What does your heart tell you?" Chelsea asked.

Max opened one eye. "What does your head tell you?"

Before Cara could roll her eyes at him, Natalie snorted. "What does your vagina tell you?"

Max winced and closed his eyes as the rest of them snickered.

Cara smiled and shrugged. These were good questions. What was her heart and head and vagina telling her?

She knew her heart wasn't in it at all. That one was easy. Her head was still on the fence. But her vagina? It knew exactly what it wanted. And he was sitting across from her on that bus, pretending not to care about the conversation.

She smiled as her brain connected the dots between the letters and game board and played U, A, and L on the end of his SEX to score off him.

"Maybe the guy you're talking to is a better fit," Adam said. "You won't stop smiling."

She tried to wipe the smile off her face, but it became impossible when Antonio had added I, T, and Y to their word.

"Yeah," she said, feeling bold, but still not bold enough to look at Antonio. "He probably is."

She gave it a second before looking around the bus to see if anyone was looking at her. When the coast was clear, she glanced in Antonio's direction. And found him staring at her.

She wished she knew what he thought of the conversation.

She had much more in common with Antonio than with Jalen. Possibly more that any other guy she'd ever met.

He was more introverted, like her, and seemed to have similar likes and dislikes. Plus, their sense of humor was practically the same.

But he wanted Fran.

And she couldn't blame him. Fran was his first love. She thought of how impossible it had been to get over Cooper, and she hadn't been married to him for ten years.

Still, it was becoming more and more difficult to ignore her feelings. She wished she could jump into a wormhole that led five years into the future and see what kind of person she'd settled down with. Would it be someone like her, like Antonio, or her opposite, like Jalen?

Unfortunately, time travel wasn't yet a thing, so she'd have to figure it out on her own. It just sucked that finding the love of your life involved so many variables. How was she supposed to find the one if she didn't even know what the one was like?

She needed to conduct more research. Collect more data.

Antonio was obviously off the table as a partner, but someone like him might fit the bill. Someone quieter, more reserved. She always thought she needed some balance to help her out of her shell, but she never felt a hundred percent comfortable around super outgoing guys.

Even with Cooper, she'd been so deep in her head and worried about what he thought that she'd never been able to enjoy him.

And maybe sex would be better with someone who was more similar to her, who understood all of her and liked her anyway—not just her more loveable side.

She glanced at Antonio again, making a mental note of his dark brown wavy hair, dark eyes, dark stubble, soft lips…

He was more attractive than Cooper or Jalen, for sure. A little too attractive, if she was being honest. But somehow, she still felt comfortable at the idea of being with him. She didn't think she'd be nervous with him as she had been with Cooper.

It was too bad she couldn't test him out—just a little—to see if her hypothesis was correct.

How great would it be if he were down for that?

She spared a glance at her brother, knowing that Max would be the main reason Antonio would say no. But they wouldn't have to tell Max, would they? They'd already kept their fake dates from him. And, if she was being honest, this whole sneaking around thing was pretty damn… exciting.

Plus, she could use the practice with someone who knew what he was doing, and Antonio fit that bill perfectly.

It would be like a research project.

She peered at Antonio from across the bus and pictured herself sinking between his knees. This time, she didn’t chase the thought away—she let it fester. And the more it festered, the more she accepted that this was the best idea she'd ever had.

She let the image sit in the back of her mind as she planned. She could wait until later that night, after she'd had a few drinks, then she'd pluck up her courage and tell Antonio she wanted to use him for sexual practice.

A thrill and a lot of nerves shot through her veins all at once and she suppressed the urge to laugh at herself. He'd most likely shoot her down. But what if he said yes?

Just the possibility of him agreeing cemented the plan in her mind.

She forced her concentration back to the Scrabble board while listening to Chelsea tell Jae about the things she'd booked for her wedding that week.

Cara just hoped that if Antonio turned her down, his rejection wouldn't sting too badly.