Page 26 of Love or Leave (Mapleton #4)

twenty-one

C ara took the stairs two at a time, dragging Antonio behind her. When she got to her room, she yanked open the door and placed a hand on Antonio's back, shoving him into her bedroom and slamming the door behind them.

Her blood had been boiling with indignation. She couldn't believe the nerve of Adam and Ethan interrogating Antonio. They'd acted as if she wasn't even there.

She was an entire adult. She could—and would—make her own decisions about whom to sleep with. It was no one else's damn business.

She had nothing but respect and love for Max, but his—and his friends'—opinion of her and Antonio’s relationship was not relevant.

Okay, maybe not relationship . But whatever the hell the thing between her and Antonio was did not need Max's stamp of approval.

She'd admit that she lost some bravado at Adam's suggestion that Antonio was using her. The thought had caused a stabbing pain in her chest, and she prayed it wasn't true.

If she was honest, though, she'd been using him, too. In fact, she'd literally told him she wanted to use him for sex. But the problem was that she'd fallen for him. Hard. And now the thought of him using her for sex made her stomach roll.

She honestly didn't know what to feel or think anymore.

She pushed past Antonio, who stood frozen in place just inside the door, and sat on the edge of her bed. She immediately stood back up and paced the room. Then she sat back down.

Finally, she looked up at Antonio and saw him exactly where he she left him—head hung low—as if he'd just been tried for murder and sentenced to life.

She rolled her eyes.

"Antonio," she said, waiting for him to look up at her.

He didn't. Just stared down and shuffled his weight between his feet.

"It's going to be fine."

Antonio shook his head. "I fucked up."

His response made her pause.

"Does that mean you regret this?" she asked in a tiny voice.

He met her eyes, his brows drawn together. "No," he said. "I just wish we'd done things differently."

Antonio finally moved. He crossed the room and sat on her bed, so close that their thighs touched, then he turned until he was facing her. Before he spoke, he reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear.

The last bits of anger and frustration slipped away with his touch. She leaned into him again.

"Cara?"

She tipped her eyes to his and waited.

"I hate how we started," he said, pausing for a moment, as if he was collecting his thoughts. "I wish I hadn't asked you to my parents' anniversary party."

She winced. It felt as though he was breaking up with her. Was that what was going on? She had already started convincing herself that her heart would be better off in the long run.

She nodded, forcing herself into a mature response. "We agreed to help each other out. We'll tell Max, he'll get over it, and we'll all move on."

Antonio froze. His face scrunched, and he stared at her for a long, intense moment. "You want to move on?"

Cara opened her mouth to speak, but when she saw the look in his eyes, her heart squeezed. "Isn't that what you want?"

Antonio immediately shook his head. "No."

Her mouth fell open even wider. Was he serious?

He searched her eyes for a moment longer before shaking his head. "You can't tell how much I like you?"

She shook her head while she tried to process what was happening. "You said you love Fran," she said. "You're married."

Antonio stood, ran his hand through his hair, and began pacing.

"That was before," he said. "I guess part of me will always love her. But ever since our date—well, our non-date, or whatever it was—at the euchre tournament, I haven't been able to think about anyone but you."

Cara forced her jaw up off the floor and clamped her mouth shut. Obviously, she felt the same, so it shouldn't have been that big of a shock to her. But how could he have done a complete one-eighty in only a few weeks?

"Am I alone in this?" he asked.

She waited a few seconds, then shook her head.

"I wanted to come here to talk about us, but then we kissed and you're so…" he ran a hand through his hair. "And then Adam and Ethan…"

Silence hung in the air between them as she considered his words. She didn't think he was being dishonest about his feelings. She could tell that he wanted her and liked her. What she couldn't understand was how he could already be over his wife, just like that.

Also, the whole “cheating on Sara” thing was burning a hole in her brain.

"Cara," he said, waiting for her to look up, "do you want to be with Jalen?"

Her eyebrows shot up. She'd forgotten all about him. "No."

He gave a nod. "Do you think we can start over? The right way this time," he said. "Without the lies and sneaking around."

She stared at him for a moment before she stood from the bed and crossed her arms protectively across her chest. That’s what she wanted more than anything. Being with Antonio felt exactly right.

But her head wasn't convinced.

Antonio drew near and placed his hands on her shoulders. She deflated in relief at his touch. Her head might have reservations, but her heart and body were all in.

She brought up an image in her mind of them together, holding hands, kissing, and touching whenever they wanted. Would it be so bad to see where things could lead?

"So you want to… date?"

Antonio nodded. "Yes."

She stared at him for a moment, wondering whether he wanted this because he genuinely liked her, or because he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with her brother. "Not just because of Max?" she asked.

He pulled back slightly, shocked. "Of course not."

She narrowed her eyes, wondering if she could trust his words. He didn’t have a great track record for trustworthiness.

His shoulders dropped. "You don't believe me, do you?"

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know if she believed him or not, so she gave a little shrug.

He lifted a hand and squeezed the back of his neck. "I think we have something really great together," he said.

"If…?" Cara prompted. If Max approves ? If Fran doesn't change her mind ?

"There is no if," he said.

She wanted to believe him so badly. They would be great together. But she wasn't sure if it was foolish to trust him.

She went back and forth, and back and forth in her mind before she finally held her breath, listened to her heart, and dove in headfirst. "Okay."

Antonio wasted no time. He pulled her in close, put a hand on the back of her head, and cradled her against him, kissing her temple.

She loved his touch—probably a little too much. But that wasn’t enough to date someone, was it? She just hoped she hadn't made the worst mistake of her life.

"So we're going to tell Max?" she asked, her voice muffled in his shirt.

Antonio placed a sweet kiss on her lips and nodded. "Yes."

" What are we going to tell him?"

Antonio smiled. "That we're together. That you're my…" he hesitated. "Girlfriend."

Cara's heart filled with so much love and hope it overflowed. Maybe if she loved him enough with her heart and body, her brain would get on board, too.

"Girlfriend?"

Antonio smiled and nodded. "Is that too soon? Should we—"

"No," she said, her face betraying her true feelings. Her entire body was lighter. "I want to be your girlfriend."

Antonio reached out and hugged her, pressing his heart against hers. "I want to be your boyfriend."

They held each other for a long time before pulling away just enough to kiss. When he finally let her go, she thought she might float away.

She had a boyfriend, and he was perfect for her. Maybe the circumstances they'd come together under weren't ideal, but they would make it work.

They sat on the bed and made a quick plan for how to tell Max. Antonio said he'd call him tomorrow and arrange a time to get together to discuss.

Then they kissed goodbye, and he left. Now all she had to do was officially break things off with Jalen—and hope that Max would take their news well.