Page 9

Lux

I grumbled as I watched the minutes tick by on my phone.

Not a single call or text from anyone.

I had ordered her private chef to text me if anything happened, but she had been radio silent all day. I was tempted to look at the cameras, but I didn't want to be that person.

Taking in Bella had made me a special kind of paranoid. I was worried about if she was getting enough to eat, if she was happy, if she had done well at school, if she was getting along with the nanny, and the driver, and the chef.

More importantly, I knew I had to work, but my mind kept wandering back to them. I wanted to be there with them to make sure everything went okay.

This was part of the process. I needed to let go. I knew that.

But knowing it didn't stop me from worrying. I had thought through it all and knew that I didn't need to worry. That, even if somehow my angel turned out to be the worst nanny in the history of the planet, the chef and the driver would have my back.

They told me that every time I hired a new nanny and things went particularly nasty. They would text me updates, and usually that meant I needed to leave work early, but this was the first time in forever that I was still at work. It had already been more than three hours.

Dominic said something else, and I nodded, unable to take my eyes off my phone.

Nothing? Is there really nothing to update me on?

“So you agree to invest the three million in a manure farm?”

My head snapped up, my gaze meeting his. His lips were pulled into a smirk. He was sitting on a chair a few feet away, his body turned to me as he spoke, which meant that he had been watching me for some time.

“Sorry,” I mumbled and turned my phone screen down. “New nanny.”

He looked at the screen showing month after month of revenue for one of our smaller products and slowly shut his laptop. I should have been listening, and I mentally kicked myself for worrying so much.

The whole point of getting a nanny was so I could be here and be present, yet somehow, I was ruining it.

“Issues again?” he asked with a raised brow. “I thought this one was the best they had.”

“The best they had actually dropped out,” I said as I turned my phone back over to check. Though a little devilish voice in the back of my mind had a hard time believing my little angel was anything but their best.

Nothing.

“Yikes.” He leaned back in his chair. “Well, you better get home and deal with it?—”

“You’re right, I should get home.” I stood quickly, grabbing my laptop and phone. He was giving me the perfect excuse to take my leave, and of course I was going to take it. What was the point of being at the office if I wasn’t listening and kept worrying the entire time?

I was about to run out the door when my phone vibrated with a message from a number I hadn’t saved.

When I opened it, there was a picture of Bella at the dining table, a large pencil in one hand while the other rested on her forehead. She was glaring at a piece of paper in front of her and had probably the biggest pout I'd ever seen. But Juliette?

She was smiling . A big, unrestrained smile. Something I knew that likely annoyed Bella even more. I couldn’t stop looking at her, even when I knew I should. I let myself, for one selfish moment, just stare at the beautiful girl on my phone.

The words that followed it made my heart stop.

Unknown

Homework time :)

She’s okay. Had her lunch and dinner will be soon.

Take your time.

How did she know I was worried about her?

Because Juliette was made for me.

Shit. I couldn’t keep having these thoughts.

Still, my mind went back to our time in the room. I had needed her then in an entirely different way, and she had delivered. Now I needed her for something else, and she still exceeded my expectations.

Swallowing the knot in my throat, I sat back down at the desk.

She's got this. It was still hard to tear my mind away from them, but seeing the picture of them together and Bella actually doing something productive had hope blossoming in my chest. It was enough for me to pull myself away from my anxiety spiral and pay attention to what Dominic was actually saying.

“Sorry,” I said with a sigh. “My mind’s all over the place. I’m not going home. We can continue.”

“Are you sure?” he asked as he slowly lowered himself back into the chair. I didn't tell people much of anything, especially work colleagues, but Dominic was the one exception to the rule.

We had gone to college together, and when I finally got myself up on my own two feet and started my business, he was one of the first people I thought about hiring.

Since then, he had never let me down. He had taken up a lot more work after my sister had died to help me manage both the company and Bella.

I don't know when or how I'd ever be able to repay his kindness, but someday I would.

I nodded. “Let’s get this done.”

I had my phone face up, their image still there. Another message popped up, this time of Bella earlier in the day, running toward the camera, a big smile on her face.

My chest ached at the sight of her smile and the tooth she was missing.

When was the last time she smiled like that?

I’d never seen it. Bella was never playful with me. She was always pouting, whining, or just overall unhappy. There were a few times when she was just… normal , but never happy enough to give me a smile that big.

“What’s got you smiling?”

I definitely wasn’t smiling, but Dominic had known me long enough to see the smallest changes in my expression and read my emotions.

Deciding not to shut him out, I showed him the one of Bella smiling. His eyebrows raised to his hairline.

“Are you sure that’s the same kid?”

This had my lips twitching.

“I think I found the perfect person for Bella,” I said and turned the phone back to me, taking in her smiling face.

“I’m happy for you, truly. You need this.”

I put my phone away, content that Bella was being taken care of.

Juliette’s updates allowed me to focus on my work for another two hours before heading home to find them both on the outside couches. Bella asleep, Juliette watching over her. It was… domestic, and I realized I liked it.

Maybe a bit too much.

Just like I liked her calling me sir again a bit too much as well, even though I knew I definitely shouldn’t.

I waited until I heard Juliette’s car leave to pick up Bella, enjoying the calmness of it all. There weren't many times when I could be with Bella like this. When the world around us slowed down and quieted. When I could just look at her.

It was starting to cool down outside, but the warmth of the fireplace kept the outside lounge area warm. The light lit up her chocolate brown locks, casting a reddish hue on her skin.

She stirred just slightly but then leaned into me, not waking up, even as I shifted her weight in my arms.

I was never going to be a mother, but that didn't mean I wouldn't try to protect Bella with everything I had. And not just because she was my sister's kid.

Because she deserved it. She deserved the world.

Standing there, looking down at her while she was sleeping, just made everything else in the world fall to the background.

She was all that mattered. She was the reason I did all this. I didn’t know how long I stared at her, but when my arm started to get weak, I knew it was time to take her inside.

I took Bella to her room down the hall, careful not to jostle her too much. She curled into me, her small hand gripping my suit. I set her down on her bed, tucking her in and placing her favorite, worn bunny by her side. She grabbed it immediately, and the faint scent of her mother reached my nose.

That bunny had been one of the few things she had insisted on bringing from her house. I pushed her to bring more toys or anything that had sentimental value, but she wouldn’t.

Looking at her made my heart ache.

I constantly worried about her. And I wondered if that was how all parents felt about their kids.

If they thought about them constantly. If they started counting down the minutes from the time their kid walked outside until they were back inside safely.

If the only thing they wanted to talk about was their kid.

That was how it was for me now.

Everything had been hard for her since the accident, so even though Juliette had shown me how capable she was, I had still been worried that Bella would do a one-eighty and reject her.

I was shocked to see her asleep when I got home.

She’d only fall asleep in my presence, and even that was a struggle.

She liked to go to her room by herself. She didn’t like being tucked in.

No bedtime routine, no book, not even a game on her iPad.

She’d just simply go into her room and go to sleep.

I had reached out to her pediatrician and tried to get her to see a psychologist, but nothing worked. As soon as I tried to put her in front of a professional, she would shut down. They were supposed to help, but instead it always sent us two steps back.

Not to mention she’d always stay up until I got home, which meant she had always refused to sleep when any of her nannies were around, no matter how exhausted she was.

Until now.

But still, having Juliette here was… inappropriate at best. The only thing on my mind today besides Bella was Juliette.

Despite the photos and the messages, despite all the things she’d done right, I'd actually come home with the intention to fire her. Not because she didn’t blow all other nannies out of the water, but because of how awful it would be for me to keep her here.

I wanted her. The one night we had had only deepened my appetite for her. I thought that I was obsessed before, but having her so close and so unavailable at the same time was too hard for me to handle.

If I kept her here, it would literally only be a matter of time before I fucked up. The temptation was too great.

It might make it easier if she pretended not to notice me or if she showed me she didn't want me the same way I wanted her. But our mutual desire for each other was all too obvious.

It was dangerous, and something happening between me and Bella’s nanny would be disastrous, especially if it got messy.

Bella needed stability. She needed someone she could count on. A constant in her life after such a heart-wrenching life change.

I got up as slowly as I could, trying not to wake her. But just as I was going to turn back to the door, her small hand reached out and grabbed my wrist. I turned to her, but her eyes were still closed.

“I changed my mind. Don’t fire her, Auntie Lux,” she said in the sleepiest voice I’d ever heard.

My heart lodged in my throat.

“Go to sleep, Bella,” I cooed, placing her hand back on the bed and covering it with mine.

“I—” She let out a yawn and rolled over. “Like her.” The last part came out as more of a mumble.

She’s making this hard. Impossible.

All thoughts of firing Juliette were suddenly erased from my mind.

Bella rarely asked for anything or admitted to liking anyone. Not even any of my other staff, let alone someone she’d just met.

Why her? What had Juliette done today that made Bella like her so much? And so quickly?

Whatever the answer, there was no way in hell I’d fire Juliette now.

Which meant one thing and one thing only.

I have to keep my hands off her.